British Lung Foundation

PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!

Hi everyone!

When I was diagnosed with Emphysema last year I joined the BLF and was welcomed with open arms 💜 Thank you to all who replied to my first post. However I have found myself in such a dilemma? I just need to let you know I have so many health issues, they are Chronic pain, Fibromyalgia, Barrett's disease, Emphysema, Chronic Migraines, and Clinical depression. Over the Christmas period I have never suffered so much pain! I had the worst dental abscess ever! The swelling covered three quarters of my face! With it being over Christmas I couldn't go to my dentist, I rang and rang and rang the emergency numbers but they were constantly engaged! Then I got the most severe sharp pain in the middle of my chest which took my breath away! Eventually I got through to the emergency services, they sent paramedics to my home. When they saw my face they looked shocked! I did look terrible a bit like the hunchback of Notre dame

However they were more concerned with my chest pain and quickly hooked me up to their ECG machine. My Blood pressure was 190/90 and my saturation was 97. My ECG was normal. They wanted me to go to hospital but I refused because I am stupid and stubborn

I wanted my abscess treated but they couldn't guarantee that and that was the main reason I refused, also I keep seeing poster's reminding me not to attend A&E dotted all over my GP's surgery. The next day my abscess burst! What came out of my mouth was vile! Now I am sat here with the flu! I am never free from pain! I live on my own and barring the paramedics I didn't see a soul over Christmas! I am not looking for sympathy, I am looking for your help, advice and understanding. The thing is I really tried to give up smoking, but whether it's because of my health with my depression going up and down like a yo-yo I just have failed miserably to stop smoking! Please don't hate me, I really want to give up but I can't and I know too if I don't my Emphysema will get worse! I need help and I have already exhausted the six weeks help offered me last year, I only attended 2 weeks because I was too ill to attend all of the course. There, this is sad old me now. I don't know who to turn to.

P.s

I am severely disabled so I am like a prisoner in my own home

I no longer have my carer's because they were taken off me when the government were making their cuts. I can't afford to pay for any either because the government cut my benefits too. Any suggestions - please!

21 Replies
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Why would anyone hate you, with all the pain you're going through ? I am actually shedding a tear for you right now. Very ill myself right now and only advice I can give you is stop resisting. Let them take you to hospital and let them care for you. Good luck !

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No feelings of hate towards you but sympathy MjRock.

I am sorry that you are in so much pain, but could you try to make two phone calls today.....one to your GP and one to the BLF helpline. Or 111

Try and grab as much help as you can, I had to go to my GP this week as I have hurt my hip.......everyone at the surgery and the hospital couldn't be faulted. Even total strangers offered to help when I was stuck with pain.

Thinking of you and sending you best wishes.

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Nobody hates you as you are suffering badly. My husband is in hospital with a suspected heart attack. He didn’t want to go but was made to see sense.

Try and get your carers and benefits restored to you abs see if the Citizens Advice Bureau can help with that.

Wishing you well. Xxxxx

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Off topic comments removed and sent to sassy via PM.

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Wow! Hello,

I think you see that the "stopping smoking" is probably the key as it will improve your health, wealth & happiness.

When trying to stop, we all seem to think that, if we "fall off the waggon" that we have failed ... yet I can't find anywhere that says you have to stop and stay stopped from the first attempt. Each time that you decide to try stopping needs to be viewed as a "practice run" for the time when you achieve the goal. None are failures, just preparation!

As we are social creatures, you need to find some company but I'm afraid I don't know how you will do that and, similarly, stopping smoking is easier as a group than on your own.

I wish I could offer more help - maybe a focus on finding some [physical] support and then having a few practice runs as the cigs would lead to a much better outlook.

Just wish you all the best and hope you find the support you need

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Such an awful time you are having you will get support here I have. Shame the carers were taken away have you asked again it sounds to me that you need them to help you, I have help,but we had to pay for it, take care and look after yourself you will fjhgt the battle with the smoking.x

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Many of us know the struggle to give up smoking so no we dont hate you but can empathize with you. With so much going on healthwise im not surprised you struggle. But please try again and again untill you succeed it will be worth the effort. Try and acsept all help thats offerd people realy do want to help. Call the blf help line they realy are good and can offer lots of advice from health to benifits. And when you are feeling overwelmed by it all thear is always us. Take care i hope you are soon feeling back in countroll

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So sorry you are in so much pain, wish I could help with that. You really need to make a few phone calls to your GP and get some advice from citizens advice. Stopping smoking is never easy but you will do it, I had loads of attempts before I gave up. I can understand when you say you feel like a prisoner I get left me that at times, but I decided to do an open university course and that's helped fill in my time. Ask your doctor about any groups you could go to,. You keep posting on here and please ring the British lung Foundation they can give you advice. We are all here for you, so please remember to keep posting. Take care, and good luck. Bernadette 😊xxx

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Hi I can't add to the great advice you have been given except to say there is a quit smoking site on HU. If you type in Quit it will come up. I managed with their help to pack in the ciggies earlier this year and couldn't have done it without them.

I wish you the best. x

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well done on giving up , I wish I had know there was a help group when I gave up , did you manage to give up on your first attempt I do admire people who do that took me several attempts

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14 off-topic comments deleted.

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A very warm welcome to you MJ. There is no hate on here, only support. I am so sorry you have such a lot to deal with. Good advice from your friends above. I hope you find the strength to fight your corner to reinstate the help you need and that your health issues improve. You will find friendship and support here.

cx

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with all your going through its a very hard thing to stop smoking , nobody will hate you , I know they put all the signs up about not going to A&E yours was a genuine case of needing medical treatment never feel that you shouldn't go if it happens again , its these people that go for stupid things like a broken nail or a very small cut that's caused the problems with A&E hope your feeling a bit better soon and hope some one can give you more advice to help

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Welcome MjRock - I second hypercat54's suggestion that you sign up with the HU Quit smoking site. There will be many on there who will have struggled just as you are doing now. Good luck :)

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I am sorry you spend so much time alone :-( It is always good to have a chat to someone. Some voluntary services can arrange for someone to visit you for a friendly chat. If you are interested I can look into it for you? I know I bang on about it but have you thought of vaping as an alternative to smoking? The only good thing you get out of fags is a nicotine hit and with vaping you can choose a nicotine strength according to how many fags you smoked together with a nice flavour! Best wishes. xx

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You don't bang on about it half as much as I do Roseking - a simple switch to a tobacco/tar-free product and the problem is solved. Why am I not surprised that so few people on a lung disease forum are prepared to spread the word? So many extoll the virtues of cold turkey and will power - maybe it does work for some but it never worked for me even though I managed two years of abstinence I still caved in. Now we have a substitute that gives all the pleasure without the pain, is given the approval of Public Health England and yet it is barely mentioned in the very circles that need it most.

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I completely agree with you! :-)

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Hi MjRock and welcome. You are going through a lot of stress and beating yourself up about stopping smoking, is making it worse.

If I was you, I would get the money situation sorted first, as soon as possible. Get help, as suggested by other posters.

Once you get it all sorted, then you'll find it easier to stop.

In the mean time, try cutting right down, ready for stopping.

I got down to 5 a day, then 4,3,2 and finally, one a night. I used the ecig and after about 2 days on one a night, I just stopped them. I shocked myself when I did hahaha.

Most people would feel the same in your present situation, so, don't feel bad because you can't stop smoking, when it couldn't be at a worse time for you.

You know you have to do it, but, you need to be in a better frame of mind,with minimal stress.

I have Fibro too and one thing that really flares it up, is stress and worry.

So, the sooner you get some help, the better.

Let us know how you get on xx

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Of course no-one hates you MjR. Don't forget, the majority of us have been there ourselves with the smoking. There's some great advice above, and I was told recently that Age Concern can sometimes help with temporary home help for people who have unforeseen needs in the short-term. Worth a try if you need urgent help. By the way, you were a hero getting through all those events and pain on your own over Christmas, so give yourself a big pat on the back x

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Sorry your feeling so low, my husband was a heavy smoker, then went on to vaping, he hasn't smoked a cigarette since, it's been nearly 2 years. He's still vaping, but I can live with that.

I can't believe your help has been taken away, hope your managing.

I hope you've seen your dentist and he has sorted your abcess out, I've had one and it is the most painful thing.

Speak to your doctor let them know how your feeling, they might be able to give you something. Keep your chin up and come back and chat to us x x x

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Please ring the BLF helpline on Monday - 03000 030 555 during office hours. They will be able to talk to you about your benefits and give advice.

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