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British Lung Foundation
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View from the Hospital

Hello BLF friends

Thank you thank you, you are all so kind!!

Not easy to tell your 88 year-old Dad what to do 😃

Didn’t want to sit in the armchair, didn’t want to blow bubbles, didn’t want to nebulise more than 2 mn..I understand..he was telling me I’m tired and I had to say come on Dad try a little..

I won’t push him anymore..I’m not going to bully him.

So we saw the heart specialist and the respiratory specialist together, one lung is flat as a pancake, can’t do anything about that, they think the problem is the infection which led to fluid in the lung as the heart is tired. He has put on 3 kilos of fluid in 3 days. So more diuretics, different antibiotics..They told him he had to work at it he said I’m tired, they said he must be patient..

Anyway a friend is going up tomorrow so I’ll take the day off, my body is saying Enough! My stress level ran higher when my younger brother from Paris had the cheek to call the hospital doctor and text me to say Dad was not in any danger so he didn’t need to come over. I asked the hospital doctor is it true? She said he didn’t want to hear, he asked is his vital prognosis affected, she answered not presently, wanted to say but he is weak and elderly and didn’t get a chance.

Anyway as my Bea says only worry about the things you can change..

Final words and bed!!

💕 Fran

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Night Fran, you are in my thoughts and so is your dad. Bea is right of course, a sensible young lady.

Apologies if l don’t always reply but am awaiting imminent arrival of new grandson. Unfortunately, being a winter baby, he’s in no hurry to arrive so a difficult time for our daughter. Our lovely grandson is staying here but coughing for England. What can l do? He’s only 5 and missing mum and dad.

Lots of love xxxxx

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Night Carole!! Glad you are busy with grandchildren!! 😘😻😘😻

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I am thinking of you both.

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Thanks Kitten xx

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Fran you give so much of yourself to help your dear dad, I'm glad you're taking a day to care for YOU for a bit. I truly hope things improve, and I agree that Bea is right...lots of love and prayers and good wishes to you all xxxx

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Hi Anne

As you know we all give for the people who are dear to us. 💕Dad was a great man, a lawyer of lost causes, worked for Human Rights, which is why he was in Geneva. And now he is a suffering human being, looking desperately for his deceased wife and wondering where he is. Life can be hard. 😢

But I am taking tomorrow off, I am wondering if I can go to the swimming pool in the morning, I like water, good vibes..have a light lunch and watch football in the afternoon 😃 the only thing is the weather forecast says it is going to snow heavily. ❄️☃️So I may be cuddling with Aria and working on my embroidery instead watching silly magical Christmas movies..hmmm who knows ✨✨

All my love you brave young woman 🤗💐

Fran

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Whatever you do makes sure its something that revitalises you a little. It's wonderful that you are there for your Dad, but in order to look after others sometimes we must look after ourselves. Now if only I couid follow my own advice! Have a restful day Fran, and enjoy it. You really do deserve some time for you.❤

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Thanks Annexx

If he doesn’t call me over I won’t go..his friend said she will go in the afternoon..she has had pneumonia a few times so she was scared to come before understandably..so I don’t know..play it by ear..

Have a nice Saturday with the girls 💕

Fran

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Yes I can understand the worry with pneumonia, so it's very kind of her to put that to one side to visit him and give you a break. I know you love your dad dearly, and I'm sure they'll call you if they need you. Try to relax and have a good day. My girls want to something Christmassy as I'm finally driving....don't know if I can face it!!😁

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Somewhere confined I would say 😃so you don’t have to run around.!!!

Ice rink, pictures, no shopping centre!!!

Good luck xx

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With a two year old (her birthday was this week) I'm worried about ice rinks! But no...no shopping centres! I shall think of something I'm sure😏

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Take care of yoir self Fran. This is when families start falling out. Usually it is the stress of dealing with things and about acceptance. You only ever get one dad perhaps your brother needs reminding of that. Sleep well Fran get some rest. Xxx

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Hi Irene

You are right I thought it would be silly to fall out. We don’t choose our family, he didn’t choose me his elder sister always wanting to do the right thing, he got a telling off 😃 not because he is not coming, that’s between him and his conscience but for going behind my back and calling the doctor to extract information in that manner.

Well a hint of a telling off 😉 I texted back the names of the other two consultants and said why don’t you approach those directly as well it will make my life easier.

Because I have been reporting what was going on with Dad, for which I usually get a thumbs up or thanks for what you are doing for Dad...

I could take it as being paternalistic or I could think he means well, I do what he can’t do in fact. Maybe too hard for him.

So no you are right I felt silly but I won’t fall out.

Thanks for that Irene. Hope you are feeling better 🤗🌹

Fran xx

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Yes i am feeling better. Many thanks. Xxx

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Oh dear, Fran. You and your Dad are on a difficult path just now. Keep calmly minding him. If these prove to be his last weeks, make them as content as possible for him. You're being such a good daughter! But you can't give so much that you've no reserves left for yourself and Bea. Try to make sure you really do have a day off tomorrow. Thank goodness for friends....if not brothers! Don't dwell on your brother's selfishness for now - it will take your strength for no reward. Keep letting us know how the days go by. We'll all be thinking of you. Sleep next here....and hoping you're sleeping too over in Switzerland. 💕 Penny xx

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Thank you Penny 💕

You are right of course.

I had a sleep.. now having my inhalers, herbal nighttime tea 😃 and I will probably plug in my earphones with sleep relaxation music 🎧🎵 until I drop off again..

Have a good night xx

Fran

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Thanks, Fran. And you too xx

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Hi Fran, I read your post and my thoughts are with you. I care for my 80 year old Mum and it has been a very challenging journey involving conversations I never could have imagined having with my Mum such as ‘what colour is the sputum’ and a weird role reversal of being the parent to a sulky child because I won’t take her out because it’s too cold and she’s coughing or something. Or actually asking the doctor to come round because she can hardly breathe.

I have an older brother who I have now stopped hating for his apathy regarding Mums Care and health and now feel sorry for because he is missing what I have which is getting to have an entirety different relationship with my Mum who, like your Dad, was the very best parent she could be to me. And when she wants to be a very lovely person. I pretend to Mum that I get on with him now because it makes her happy but when I won’t have to I do not think he will be part of my life because of his lack of care nor interest.

I was often far from the best son so I am glad I am maybe able to redress the balance a bit now.

I have never done anything so hard nor experienced such emotional turmoil and I respect and admire anyone having the same experience. People say to me what a good son I am and I say thankyou but do not truly believe it because I cannot fix what’s wrong and have had periods in the past of being a very crap son.

But it is looking good for Xmas as she is as stable as she has been for a long time.

I hope you can get some rest and recharge and I hope your Dad is as well as possible.

Sounds like you are a very good daughter x God bless you x

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Hi Phil

Firstly thank you for your kind words, secondly I really appreciate you sharing your experience with me. It is good to know that I am not alone.

Take care and enjoy your Christmas with your Mum xx

Fran

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Thanks Fran, I hope Xmas will be ok but I imagine you know the feeling of waiting for the next future flare up and not being able to enjoy the present.

I was seriously considering beating my brother up a bit during my hating him period but fortunately I have a very wonderful wife who knows how to rein me in and take the correct path.

Your Dad sounds like he has made a big difference for a lot of people and been a good man.

Have a well deserved good day. X

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Thinking of you both. Life is never easy but please keep sight of your own health.

With regards to your younger brother - mine is very similar. A bit of burying his head in the sand!

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Thanks Helen 😊

Bea have confined me to the house! She has planned cumberland sausages and mashed parsnips for lunch, couldn’t say no 😇

Exactly..in denial..I have calmed down since yesterday 😉but he’d better keep his distance for 48 hours

I have a French temper 😃

Have a nice Saturday Helen xx

Fran

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I was born in Cumberland so Cumberland sausages are part of my heritage, and I love parsnips.

We’re off to see said brother this afternoon to swap and collect Christmas gifts, after we’ve been to look at a potential new puppy.

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Ahhhh those are made locally would you believe but we have bought them before they are ok.

Haha..Have a great afternoon xx

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Thanks. Enjoy your sausage and mash.

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Hi fran, hope your dad picks up. Your being sensible and looking after your self ( hard i know)

As for your brother least said and all that !!!!!

Look after yourself and your dad.

P.s lovely picture x x x

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Hi Shirley

Thanks for that. Apparently Dad has been calling for me but I am tired. I said to the head nurse, if it is urgent, if they are any changes let me know..I’ll go tomorrow..

Have a good day xx

Fran

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I do enjoy your posts and pics. I really feel for you at this very hard time for you. You really cannot do any more than you are. Hope things improve for all of you. Best Wishes X

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Thank you Jackie. It is really nice of you. Wishing you well xx

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You can only do what you can do, but it is very unsettling. Unfortunately some men find it difficult to face facts. Before any of you lovely caring men protest, it is only some men! All the best xx

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Haha..you have set the cat among the pigeons..no comment😉

Thanks xx

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Hi Fran, make sure you also look after yourself especially with the weather being so cold!

Very wise words from Bea.

Thinking of both you and your dad.

Lea x

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Thank you Lea 😊.. We are going to watch the Strictly final so it should be relaxing and entertaining!!

Have a good evening x

Fran

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