Well tis the night before the knife and i must go to bed early to arise at an unearthly hour of 06.00 to be at the party by 07.30. the invitation mentioned bringing pyjama's and made no mention of what tipple i should take only to rule out alcohol or tobacco products,I fear this is not going to be the most stimulating of parties.
In order to make sure of decent accommodation i will be smuggling in my own secret concoction of mrsa and declare myself infected thus nabbing a side ward and personal service to avoid infecting others.
Bring something to read they say? what should i take 'Hernia surgeons weekly'journey to the centre ( bowels) of the earth' by Jules Verne or perhaps 'george's marvelous medicine' by Rohald Dahl to be read whilst numbed from the waist down,i will not even feel my chuckles as Dr doom slices away.
Oh i forgot to mention that on hearing the name of my surgeon i googled him,as we all do,and lo and behold he was one of only 20 consultant surgeons in the whole of the UK who refused to reveal his mortality rates after surgery,fortunately that was under his vascular speciality and not his bog standard stuff so if he misses my artery's i am quids in for survival.
Scruffy cat will be smuggled in a secret compartment of my portable concentrator and can quietly hide in the nurses rest room where i am sure she will receive more attention than many of the patients. Hopefully the unplanned sleep in will be cancelled and i will be paroled on the day to return to my humble abode and raise a glass or two of vino to Hernie my dear departed friend and of course to my dear chums on this site who raise my spirits as much as the vino does.
Hoping all our Irish chums have survived the storm and any others affected.love and best wishes Skis and Scruffy the unherniated cat