Excited about new DR., yet still depressed about all this Copd stuff. Will depression get better...ever?? :(

[phyllis_liberty]

Hi y'all,

This is where I seem to come on a daily basis now. I don't know, it just helps to talk to folks who are in the same boat ya' know?

I posted about my new Dr., and how I'm so excited to have her. I am, and that's the honest truth. However, I'm still so darn depressed that I have Copd. I've read it is very common to suffer with it, and also anxiety. Some days are worse than others, but it's always hanging around ready to rear it's ugly head around the corner. Sometimes I just cry and cry, and then I can't sleep, and then I don't want to get out of bed the next day, and then I don't want to cook...etc. But, life goes on.... Mine sucks pretty bad right now.

I honestly believe my Copd is worse than the last Dr. said it was. I just have that feeling. I am more short of breath than ever, and I can't imagine why I'm being diagnosed as 'mild.' I can't walk to my mailbox without being out of breath anymore! That sounds worse than mild to me.

I hate feeling this way. I feel bad for complaining because a lot of you are worse than I am, and you are all my heroes!! I don't know if I could be as tough as some of you. I know it's not a good thing to come on here and spill my guts and do this. I should be saying...all will be fine...hang tough you guys...let's beat this thing. Not!! Just don't feel it.

Maybe things 'will' get better. I hope so. Really. I do. But, for now, I'm in a rather bad place with my thoughts all over the place.

Again, forgive me for not being all 'cheerful' today. Just a poopy day in my life...

Love and many hugs,

Phyllis

[breatheeasy1]

Hey Phyllis nice to meet you, as it were.

I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad and low at the moment. Hopefully this new Dr will be a turning point for you and how you manage your condition. Make sure you talk to your doctor about how you're feeling emotionally too, not just the mechanical symptoms as it were. And you must look after yourself. Eat, wash, and sleep when you can- it does make you feel better. And don't forget to get outside where possible. Sunshine and socialising also lifts your mood 🌞

Have you support from friends and family? Don't be miserable and alone in this and keep posting on here...you're in good company!

I am as yet undiagnosed so just at the beginning of my 'journey' and Ive posted some miserable things but was humbled and surprised by how much support there is from the lovely people on here. So don't suffer in silence!

All the best and stay in touch xxx

[lync11]

Hi Phyllis, so sorry to hear that you are feeling down. I was diagnosed with copd about 3 months ago and became really depressed about it for about a month until I joined this site. I now know that feeling down mentally is not good for your physical health either. I have now started to exercise every day, I use my inhaler and now feel better all round. I used to feel ill all the time but, touch wood, I feel a lot better since my attitude changed. I don't often comment on posts but felt that I had to when I read your comments. Xx

[Hidden]

Hi Phyliss please don't apologise for coming in here and telling us how you are feeling. We are here for the good times but the bad as well so come in as often as you need to, we all understand.

Some people in here are absolutely inspirational and I always wonder how they can stay so cheerful when I who am only mild complain a lot. I am sure we all know the the 3 in the morning feelings of despair though, even the cheerful ones.

You will come ot terms with it coz we all do and I hope you find some meds suiitable for you. Take care.

[Annie31]

Hi Phyliss, totally understand and empathise with you! I have suffered with anxiety since I was a child, intermittently over the years but with this diagnosis it has reared its ugly head again. You don't know when or where it's going to hit and even if I have a good couple of days it can happen and think where did that come from! I too am really fed up!

Sometimes I can breathe well and do things around the house, a few hours later I can't even bend down without gasping and it is this I find hard to cope with. I start to believe I'm getting a handle on it and then it all goes pear-shaped! I think it is this that is making me depressed about living like this. I also think that it is a motivation problem as well, why would you think that being more active is going to help when you actually force yourself to do it you feel worse? That seems to be the hard thing to get over, certainly with me. It's easier to sit in a chair, or stay in bed all comfortable and safe, breathing okay and feeling well. I'm only in that stage of every day having to make myself get up and get on, sometimes it's good and other days it sucks!!!

I come on here most days to read posts and like you I start to feel less of a person than I am because I don't have this 'joie de vivre' that so many on here seem to share. I'm sure they've all been in the same place as you and I but somehow it doesn't always help. I just feel tired and worn out! I don't want to live like this so I guess there is only one way forward, just keep trying and make the best of it!

I feel I'm in a grey area of my life at the moment, and it's up to me to get over this hump!

I wish you all the best and do understand where you are coming from!

[Ergendl in reply to Annie31]

Just keep taking things one day at a time and do what you can to improve things today, even if it's just one thing, like asking for a pulmonary rehab session, or watching an online video about pursed lips breathing. All the best, M.

[phyllis_liberty in reply to Annie31]

Wow..I definitely could have written that! I felt every word. I hate to feel this way. I want to be strong...like so many here, but I'm not. At least not yet, and maybe never will be. I cant see being...or feeling..jolly.

I'm going to have a long chat with my Dr., and I hope she helps. Some of them want to stick you on the psych ward. I'm NOT going that route! 😐

Thanks for understanding.

[phyllis_liberty in reply to phyllis_liberty]

Meant for Annie31

[Pantani]

Hi Phyllis, don't beat yourself up about coming on here and complaining about your condition. Most of us have felt like you do and I still have days when as Winston Churchill would say "the black dog is with me", his way of describing being depressed. So come on her and have a good rant.

[Schmicter]

Many people get knocked down physically, mentally, or both, by one thing or another. Some chose to let it keep them down, or some fight back...even though it is not easy and depressing or painful at times. Which are you going to be?

[Annie31 in reply to Schmicter]

I have faced numerous horrible realities in my whole life, and during the last ten years in particular we have lurched from one family crisis to another and every time I have measured up to the need of others but there comes a time when you feel you can't deal with any more, and with this diagnosis and me, that is it! That does not make me a weak person, it makes me an ill, tired person in need of support and help myself and not to just buck up.

(edited by moderator)

My choice is to be strong as I have always been but at the moment it is very hard and this is what we are both trying to explain. Fortunately there are others on here who appreciate that because they have been in the same place.

[Schmicter in reply to Annie31]

Sorry if you were offended, but just my way of saying the same thing you did earlier.

"I guess there is only one way forward, just keep trying and make the best of it!

I feel I'm in a grey area of my life at the moment, and it's up to me to get over this hump!"

If you want to call it buck-up...so be it.

[Alauralane]

Hello there, that is what we are all here for to listen and understand, do tell your doctor how you are feeling and let them know maybe your meds are not working anxiety especially about our health is so normal we do not believe what we are told especially if our symptoms tell us otherwise, again speak to your doctor about your concerns and fears. Also know that though everyone's journey is different many of us begin here, I was afraid, shocked, frightened, my early posts were full of uncertainty and questions about my future, do you have anyone you can confide in and to support you, maybe tell them what you are going through and ask them if they can encourage you to get out and about, when I am struggling with depression I make myself go out for a walk and I stop and look at all the beautiful flowers or birds anything that improves how I feel the endorphins from the exercise help with my mood too. All the best.