A Knackering Day

Why do the simplest things now take an age? Yesterday I made a lasagne for people coming to stay - It took me so long you could have read War & Peace twice over. Watching me in the kitchen - was like watching an action replay at the games in London.

I find everything is now such an effort. You wouldn’t of thought it impossible to get out of breath with the challenge of cutting an onion, slicing mushrooms or dicing a carrot.

Preparations for our friends coming over have been underway for some time. They don’t know I have IPF. They stayed the night and my Mrs and I were so worried about what shape or form I’d be in while they’re were here.

Would I be doing my Gollum impression - coughing my lungs up as I do a few body shapes on the stairs on the way to bed - or will it be more like a scene from The Walking Dead. A zombie nightmare!!

I've had to tackle and encounter friends visiting before!!! Not sure if I managed to hide my breathless symptoms - which sometimes sound like a naughty phone call - but a few smiles and my lovely wife making excuses usually does the trick.

Our friends arrived late because of delays on the road. To my advantage - as I had more time to get ready - In other words SLEEEEEEP!!! I seem to be doing so much napping of late. Bit like Churchill the nodding dog.

I’m normally one of those chatty types but I’m now more content in playing the part of a listener. I’ve changed my talking tactics to that of an interviewer and let others take on the job of chin wagging. I get so out of breath talking which leads to me on the verge of a panic attack.

Things didn’t go toooo badly overnight - I had the usual restless night and got at 4:30am coughing but managed to head to the bathroom and get close up and personal with the bathroom towel to muffle things.

They’ve gone now and I’m gonna be honest - I wonder if I’ll ever see them again. Will I get a transplant or not. I sympathise with you all here and know how tough for everyone. Reading your blogs, thoughts and comments really help and your advice is invaluable. THANKS

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16 Replies

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  • Hello Nigel, and thank you for your post.....I love the way you write....you have a definite talent. I am a little concerned about your friends. Are they good friends? Do they know about your condition? Have they any understanding of your condition? Please do tell me to mind my own business, but if I were your friend I would be very hurt if you weren't able to confide in me and deny me the opportunity to be supportive. Anyone who backs away was never a true friend in the first place.

    Hold on to that sense of humour, it's a rare gift.

    Take care.

    Pam. 😊😊😊

  • Thanks Pam - they are very good friends - and you are right but I just haven't got the nerve to let them know all. I'll have to think about it. Thank uuuuu

  • Good to hear from you again. Hmmm.... personal question coming up so don't answer it if you don't want to. But why do you want to keep your health matters from your friends? I am a great blurter and I would find it difficult to hide my condition from my friends and family. I am emotionally needy and I want their support.

    I do hope things go well for you.

    Keep us informed.

    K

  • Whoops... just seen Pam's reply. Rather the same theme.

  • Hope you don't feel got at.

  • I'm a pretty independent person - so I find it tough to accept support and also I would want to upset others.

  • Err.... should there be a 'not' in there somewhere?

  • Hi Nigel Cartwright I never told anyone don't want sympathy or upset others family & didn't want them working but when your bad enough i couldn't hide it as as it shows & then that told me if I can longer hide it then I know I've deteriorated so that's why in the end my friends fam found out . But now it's not so bad & I question myself as to why I made it such a drama to myself as o can not help getting a condition & make the most off it now & fam friends no my limitations so that's a relief by its self .take care goooid luck to you x 👍🏻 Bernadette

  • In for a penny,in for a pound.

    anybody who is offended by my cough

    can jolly well go off

    i don't want them around.

    It even rhymes?though not up to our resident bards standards i'm afraid.

    Chin up nigel whats for dessert?

  • LOL Love it

  • Hi Nigel wow reading your post I thought it was myself I was reading about . Aww sorry to here you having a bad time . The sooner you tell people on family close friends the easier it will be . I also tryed to hide it but I couldn't disguise it anymore I knew that when one day my son said god mum you look like you crnt breath I answered with a huge lump in my throats as well as being breathless I crnt . Since then I put them in the picture & life is easier it was killing me more pretending I was ok & struggling so it out now . Plus like yourself am awaiting my referral to be considered for lung transplant . Wish you well & energy & hope to here again from you all the best x Bernadette xx

  • Thank you Bernadette and blooming goooood luck to you. I hate this waiting game. Fingers crossed for you.

  • You are a great writter. I do not know what it is you have. Im horrible with computer so still trying to navigate here. But I am following you and your story was sad but was glad to know you have a Mrs. Rest and keep on making lasagna! None of know I suppose who we will see again. I believe in heaven. So I hope this is just a dash between my birthdate and death date and the rest is eternity in heaven. No more fear or tears!

  • Love your thinking Lin

  • My Mum used to say to me if people matter they wont mind, and if they do mind, they wont matter. used this mantra for decades now.

    AOB

  • Nice one

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