Panic Attacks & Hyperventilation

Today as been grim day breathing issues mainly panic attacks and hyperventilation caused by stress.

Today my dad had phone call from he's GP re various blood test NOW given dads dementia we had phone on load speaker.

So we know whats happing but there are some decisions we cant make for him.

So with that in mind Doctor told my dad he really dose need medical attention re blood test results FIVE time's GP told my dad he as cancer and further test are needed.

Doctor told my dad he is suffering severe anemia and very low white blood cells from internal bleeding and cancer.

I asked if was hip healing or infection to be told the quite sure its not that but some bowl stomach cancer

Well that was that my breathing started going funny then i started to hyperventilate.

My dad fully understands he just forgets AND thats why phone was on load speaker SO my dad could hear and we could and inplacatiins of he's refusal to take doctors advice.

Is bad / sad really but he fully understands what refusing invasive medical treatment means.

And its sad that i understand WHY too given he's dementia and symptoms i.e swallowing issues &claustrophobic issues.

Is heart braking really BUT we just make sure he understands and stand by what ever decision he as chosen.

Understanding he can change he's mind at any time.

Its at point now dad dose not want doctor to tell him anything thats bad news worrying or upsetting.

He said he would rather not know.


I just hope am strong enough for me and him given my own issues.

24 Replies

My heart goes out to you and your dad. Difficult times.

Hi Cheers I just hope what ever future brings is kind.

Needless to say i reassure dad n try but what do you do really Dementia or Cancer like i say just hope futures kind

I hope it is kind too. Don't neglect your own health. x

Hi cheers be hard to really.

Have nasty habbit of passing out these day's with sniff of strees or bad news.

I wish you strength JAS as you face such concerns and worries about your dad. Pete is at the hospital with his mum as she has had another fall. She has dementia and shakes really badly. It's sad to see. Xxx

Hi sassy cheers is hard and its not like this much advice.

Send pete my best wishes SORRY to read about petes mums fall.

I would say given mine and dads hospital experiance make sure hospital are making sure she's hydrated and fed and keeping on top of any uti.

My dads happy really guess its good he forgets

We just try make him happy and be more understanting NOT always easy but it only what any of us would expect if we was in that postion.

Thanks JAS you take care xxx

You take care

My heart goes to you. Take care.

Hi Jeff, I don't know if they have offered your Dad the option of scans instead of invasive colonoscopy or endoscopy. I was offered scans instead of both with the proviso that they may just miss something that the more invasive test would show up. So I had the invasive tests. They were awful and set my chest off. Result? nothing there!

At least a scan would be a first step and may explain something. I believe that an MRI reveals more than a camera but you would need to do your research on that. Have you spoken to the consultant who isharge of your Dad's gut issues? You could ask him for a different diagnostic route.

I understand that you must feel that your Dad is being bullied into this somewhat and it is very stressful for you. The last thing you need is for your own health to break down and we all know the effect that stress has on our breathing.

I'm sorry that I can't suggest much more than moral support for you Jeff. I do feel that it is awful that you are left pretty much alone to be your Father's advocate through all of this.

Hi Littlepom afraid my dad is running out of options really recovers from one issue to get one just as bad.

The did offer scan's but as soon as doctor said hospital he said f@£&& that.

I know myself given he's dementia he don't like confined or busy places THINK he can't process information THEN when he gets stressed I get stressed :O

Think me and dad are both pair of defectives

I can certainly identify with you and your Dad feel. I am currently refusing some tests and not taking anticoagulant meds against docs advice. Sometimes enough is enough


So sad and stressful for you take care xx

As a really old person myself, Jeff, I think I understand how your Dad feels. We know that we have to die. We've had our life, hopefully mainly a good one, and our wish now is to fade away with as little stress as possible. If that entails going a bit earlier, then it is well worth that cost.

I'm sorry it's tough going for yourself.

Hi Don think all stress will see me of but do hope future will be kind ... Is heart braking really I usually tell him o doctors got it wrong if you was that sick would have pneumonia.

And that's what I can't understand AS pneumonia don't mess about weakened ... but is fine eating is crisp and trying to get me to put shiny bins street furniture in the car.

My husband and I are both in our eighties. YOu do feel reluctant to take yourself off to the doctors. They send you off to the hospital, you have to bother someone to take you there, sit and wait for goodness knows how long, feeling ill and get more appointments, then nasty tests etc. Etc. So you put up with whatever it is and struggle on. Doctorscan't discriminate by age as to what treatment they give, but we can. We know some emergencies would get us there, but until then, rather not look for trouble.

"Doctors can't discriminate by age as to what treatment they give, but we can." That is the wisest thing I have read in a long time. Thank you Lyd.

Defo agree with you there AS to doctors and treatment be sorry day for doctor that try's to rip us of of treatment options.

Had murder with doctors and gp's even adult services was reported to QCC like who needs fair weather friends when most vulnerable.

You are a good son JeffAjaxSmith . Try not to worry too much about the future, easy to say I know, but it does spoil the present. Yor Dad`s lucky to have you and you deserve some good luck for him and youself. Take care, Sheila x

Hi defo agree he could do with lucky brake ... Just never ending really .. but we try to enjoy the little things more.

Guess if he's happy I am happy and when he's sad I am too

Cheers thanks

Young people think that to reach a great age must be good. Well, it might be if you feel well but not if you don't. Its awful to think of those poor folk who wish to die because of their condition and are not allowed to. Animals are treated with more compassion, it seems to me. I often think of my mother's last two years and for her sake I wish she had not had to endure them. Quality of life counts for more than number of years lived.

So sorry Jeff. It must be really difficult for you and your dad. Thinking of you both. Take care. XXX

I'm so sorry! My mom also had dementia. I actually was relieved for her when she passed with a stroke. It was quick and she went the way she wanted to. She knew she had the dementia and that it would only get worse and she feared that most of all. My heart breaks for you.

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