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British Lung Foundation
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☞ OMG Totally BUSHED After GP Visit

Well today took DAD to doc's to talk about blood test results HAD to dust wheelchair off .. anyway turned up at doc's and wheeled dad in to see doc.

Quite grim chat really DOCTOR talked about what went on at Xmas in hospital THEN told my dad he was suffering server form of ANAEMIA low white blood cells.

She told my dad they would like to do further test SHE told dad what test would involve and my dad said %###%?#%%%% am 70 am not going to live forever.

She was very good and told my dad the would like to rule stuff out SHE told him could be nothing OR could be life threatening.

So my dad had forgot what test and SHE had to tell him again AND sure enough he said again %###%?#%%%% am 70 am not going to live forever.

So we both made sure my dad understood gravity AND doctor asked if my dad had ever had blood transfusion wile in hospital.

I told her straight hospital was prepaid to let my dad die until I kicked off then they started giving him drips antibiotics but that was only when he had sepsis.

She said MY dad could change is mined at anytime and the would try manage stuff none-invasive.

Needless to say am we are just hoping it's tad iron deficiency BUT I can't see it as dad eats meats n greens.

So i loaded dad back into car AND I never felt so ill in all my life Heart Pounding and felt like I was going to pass out again.

I don't know if was STREES of chat or PUSHING wheelchair BUT I was nearly back at doctors myself.

20 Replies

(((Hugs))). Your Dad is so fortunate to have you supporting him at this stage of his life. Keep looking after yourself so that you can keep looking after him.


Hi Ergendl cheers thanks i

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Hi Jeff, You are such a good and caring son, especially as you have such serious health issues yourself. I do feel for you as you don't seem to have any family support to help look after your Dad. Well you have us, your puffing family. The doc seems as though she understands most of the issues and is sensitive to your Dad's needs. Now young man, your Dad is a baby at 70. I know that the dementia makes life difficult but if the white blood cell problem turns out to be treatable he could have years of life ahead of him. I certainly hope so, I am 67, can't believe it and am certainly not ready to shuffle off this mortal coil.

You haven't said which tests they want to do. I do hope that they do the non invasive ones first and find the problem so that they don't need to do the invasive ones.

Do look after yourself whilst all this is going on. Take a little time to sit out in the lovely weather and take some slow breaths.

Love to you and your Dad. xx


Hi Littlepom Cheers When my dad was at hospital ... hospital told us nothing about what went on there.

Doctors told us he had a aki and pneumonia .. It turned out he had sepsis and went into septic shock when he sufferd renal failular.

Only found that out 3 moths later ... following my complaint .

He we have all been threw the mill had time of it .. Wish my dad was up to test but given condition weakness and he's dementia he don't like busy places or noises SO don't think would help.

The wanted to do scan's and camera both ends NOW my dad as had dementia eating issues so camera down throat would remind him about he's swallowing issues SO would stop eating again


Yes Jeff I remember what you and your Dad went through when he had sepsis. It was absolutely awful, especially as they told you nothing. A camera down the throat is vile even when you don't have dementia ( I've had it three times). If they want to see what is going on maybe an MRI scan could show them. Only you know what your Dad can tolerate. If you can manage to get the docs and your Dad to accept just treating the anaemia at least he can be kept comfortable and as you said, it is quality of life and spending time together that is important.

My Mum had a brain tumour. She went through chemo and radiotherapy but only got worse. She got to the point where she had symptoms of very severe dementia. A new consultant offered her further different treatment but she told me that she had had enough. I had to respect her wishes and lost her very soon after. It was so hard to do that but she was peaceful and not messed about with at the end.

We all have to do what our gut feeling tells us is what our parent wants. I am sure that, however much outside pressure is put on you. I am thinking about you.


Sorry to read about your mum truly tragic.

Like i said to doctors given what had gone on my dads not a bad man and he deserves better.

My dads happy and we have learnt to take each day as it comes.

I think hospital when my dad was in seen something.

I could of got he's medical records but is bad enough knowing what i know JUST have to be strong for my dad IF he see's us upset he gets upset.


You did a good thing helping your dad JAS and l hope he can have some non invasive tests done. It's so hard for people with dementia and you too with your health problems. You are a good son.

Take care xxxxx


Hi Sassy cheers thanks :)

Am trying to convince my dad to have transfusion if doctor wants him too ... told him is very lucky as the don't even give cancer patients them.

Told him that's realms of rich AND I would have one tomorrow if could.

He said I should go then in he's place BUT to be fair the would have to nock him out as he would try pull lines out.

Is something dementia patients do.


Yes l understand JAS. Petes mum has dementia and refuses to go to hospital for tests. She has anti sickness pills do hope they work.

You take care xxxx

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Hi Sassy I discovered you can cry or laugh SO I have laugh with my dad now AND enjoy time we have together.


That's a good policy Jeff.

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Sorry you're having such a hard time trying to help your dad while managing your own health at the same time. It's very frustrating trying to help someone who isn't willing to take advice.

I hope they get to the bottom of his anaemia and it turns out to be easily treatable.

You're doing a great job Jeff, in the meantime you must take care of yourself.



Its not is not willing it's he's dementia really ... He will tell me one day USALLY he dose say I want to go hospital BUT we was hoping to prevent such things.

Guess it's quality of life stuff WHY go threw test if is THE can't cure is dementia and he as mini Ti everyday.

My dads happy and that's all that maters really and quality of he's life.


Trying to take care of a parent with dementia is so very trying. I know. My mom had Parkinson's dementia and I was her care giver. But I was lucky in that she was very compliant and literally would do whatever I asked of her as long as I was with her holding her hand through any tests they wanted to do. I was younger then and even though I was stressed with taking care of her, working full time, raising my family and the like, I can't imagine having to do all of that and being sick myself! You are a great son! Hopefully they can do the non-invasive tests first and find the problem. Hugs to you as you care for your dad. And don't forget to take care of you in the process!


Hi Carotopgal Sorry to read about your mums parkinsons dementia .. Sounds like your mother had good'en with you.

Is hard when sick your self BUT have to remmber if was me how would I like to be treated ... Since talking to admiral nurse comes understanding and empathy with what is going on.

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Probably was both reason's you felt so unwell after hospital visit Daz, it's so upsetting when a parent is poorly especially, when your poorly yourself.

Try and look after yourself more, to keep your strength up, we're only human and can burn ourselves out trying to deal with everything on our own.

I hope you have family to help you out with your Dad. xx


Hi Casper99 cheers think your right about burning candle at both ends ... do try manage anxiety panic attacks think that's harder than anything I do for my dad


Panic attacks are horrendous. I started with them about a year after my partner died.

They lasted from waking up to late afternoon and that went on for weeks. I lost over 2 stone in weight because, I just couldn't eat.

It took about four different antidepressants, to get them under control.

I pray, I never feel like that, ever again, as long as I live.

My GP, said something, that put me on the road to recovery, he said " I know, right now, you think, that how feeling, will never get better, but,, it will." So, I feel for you Daz.

I hope your Docter is as determined as mine was to stop the attacks.

Other therapies, he sent me to, did at least a third of the work.

First, I was sent to a counsellor, once a week for 6 weeks.

Then, a weekly mindfulness meeting for 6 weeks and finally, a weekly, wellness group, for 12 weeks.

Over those 24 weeks, I slowly started feeling calmer and more optimistic.

Being with people who "Got", what I was going through, was so therapeutic. I'm so grateful to them all, so if you ever get offered to go on something like this, you want to snap it up.

I met some lovely people and still meet up with 2 of them for lunch occasionally.

When I was caring for my sick Dad, our roles kind of reversed. I became the adult and he became the child. I worried so much about him that I put my own health, on the back burner and I know you are probably, doing the same. I was hit with a painful, arthritic, autoimmune disease and couldn't even hold the spoon, to feed him with.

You have to give yourself some break's, Daz, to help you, look after yourself. xx

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Dear JAS,,You and you alone have had no choice but to care for Dad whilst in hospital and then after his discharge. Doing this when you're healthy and fit as a carer is so demanding. You've been thrown in at the deep end....I'm curious if anybody realised you aren't a fit and healthy young man,with nothing to worry about?

Your Dad,from what you've said is very much of the "old school" and given that,he really never likes to create a fuss or to put anyone other than you to any trouble. However,in the future,especially if you are unwell(like you were when leaving Dads last hospital appointment) you need to have a back-up strategy, don't you agree? Anyway that's food for thought for you both.

Nevertheless JAS you still do yourself and Dad so proud- a credit to how you were brought up and also a credit to your absolute determination, to get Dad the best treatment etc.

All power to you JAS


Hi Squirrelsholt Cheers yer I have good plan DOCTOs making sure am ok kept out hospital mysel :)

But yer we have plan so dads looked after gets food meds if out happens to any of us.


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