Morbid thoughts?: Does anyone feel the... - Lung Conditions C...

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Morbid thoughts?

Spookie121 profile image
20 Replies

Does anyone feel the same as me? Several times a month and sometimes more i have morbid thoughts and become tearful. I do not wish to start on pills to contol this. Am i going mad? Someone tell me this is normal , i have COPD, on oxygen 15hrs a day.

Paul

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Spookie121 profile image
Spookie121
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20 Replies
sassy59 profile image
sassy59

Hi Paul, that sounds upsetting but l daresay you are not alone. I do sometimes find myself wondering how long Pete has left and myself too which does upset me. I think people try to be upbeat but it's not always possible.

You can always talk things through with us if you so wish or a health professional of course.

Take care xxxxx

Spookie121 profile image
Spookie121 in reply to sassy59

Thank you for your up-lifting thoughts

2greys profile image
2greys

Hi Paul, I think having a chronic disease it is normal to occasionally get these thoughts, I admit I do. It is how you deal with them that is important, dwelling on it certainly does not help, that sends you into a downward spiral. I use distraction methods, mainly surfing the Web on my many other interests for a while and find those thoughts disappear.

Hi Paul , I think we,ve all been there . When I feel low I have a potter around my garden it's only small so not to much to handle I,ve even bought a bird table so on nice days I can sit out and watch it's great at min coz I,ve got a mum blue tit who,s bringing her babies it's brilliant watching them coz she feeds them in order , feel better soon 😘

pergola profile image
pergola

I think we all have morbid thoughts. Not sure what you mean by morbid. Anything to do with death, I have disciplined myself, thinking that it is a natural process but then I am of a certain age. I certainly dont think you are going mad, far from it but you sound depressive. Go to your GP and tell him what you have said here. I am sure you can sort things out, even with counselling. XXXX

Ah Paul you are not alone thoughts enter everyone's head to the extent they shed tears. To cry isn't a bad thing it's a form or release from tension built up with your thoughts and I hope you feel somewhat better after .if you feel your having more bad days maybe talk to somone a friend neighbour family member .Speak to your doc and tell them you don't want tablets maybe they could refer you on to somone if it will help .Angie 💛

2greys profile image
2greys

Have a look here for some distraction methods:

mind.org.uk/information-sup...

ukgospeldiva profile image
ukgospeldiva

Yes I think it's a very normal human response when having to face the challenges and relentless monotony of conditions such as c.o.p.d or any life limiting illnesses to wonder ' how long we have and is that all there is to look forward too is more of the same'?

If your on oxygen 15 hours a day do you ever get out with friends/ family with Mobile oxygen tank to do things like shopping or lunch or drives in the countryside, garden centres ect?

Trying to have a 'normal Life style' is major challenging, especially when your having to organise this, but being under house arrest is very damaging to the psychy and also not an option ling term either? Look how it makes us feel?

So what would you feel about going to prehaps a specific day centre as a once a week to start with 'break' in the grinding routine in a safe environment of your local 'hospice', who have specialised nursing staff who will be on hand to ensure if you have medical issues will take this into account when providing activities? Plus I'm wondering if you have yet had the chance to 'talk through' exactly how you truly feel about your own mortality? And anger is one of those feelings right?

I know that this is important to do so prehaps you should put in a call to your GP and ask if they could do a referral to your local hospice who can organise transport for you or prehaps just contact Marie Curie helpline on 0800-090-2309 for a chat who will be able to give you advice on everything,

I don't know what age group you are but also Ageuk is very helpful 0345-450-1276.

It's always worth exploring options as we never know what else is on offer?

Also your local Adult Services at councils social services will be able to point you in the right direction or make suggestions.

I hope you get some peace of mind soon lovey.

Heather x

Billiejean_2 profile image
Billiejean_2 in reply to ukgospeldiva

Heather, that is such a thoughtful, perceptive and helpful reply.

Yes i know how u feel before i had this illness i was able to do a lot off thinks but now i can not so i take on things that there is no rush for so keeping me bissy so thought like that go away like i got a car whch i have had for 2 years know my son done service on it now will not start no i do not do any think that is under neath only top so it keepz me thinking whats up with it

Spookie121 profile image
Spookie121

A big thank you to you all for your advice and thoughts, it is strange how the mind plays with us. Went to cognitive therapy a couple of years ago; must admit i did not like the process. I know some people swear by this but as i pointed out to them not everyone is the same.

dolphingal profile image
dolphingal

You are very normal and not alone in this. It's a release of pent-up emotions, frustrations, and fears. I refer to it as a meltdown - some people call it a pity party. IMO, it's natural - a way that nature gets the body and mind back into balance so we don't get worry ulcers .... and its OK .... as long as it doesn't last too long or doesn't happen too often.

Look at 2greys link for distractions and take in how others cope. This site is a distraction. It's where you find many others with the same or similar condition to yours, each one dealing with a myriad of peripheral issues to boot. Comradery, shoulders to lean on, ears to listen, arms to hug. It's sort of a 'safe haven'. Coming on to this site or another and reading how people are doing, what they're asking about, trips they're taking, little successes, and so on, should help take your mind off not-good things.

Heather really hit the nail with her advise to make sure you get out of the house for a change in scenery and environment plus interaction with different people.

Do it.

Big hugs and hope you feel better soon!

Badbessie profile image
Badbessie

In many ways you are having a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. I think many of us on the site have been through this to some degree. In my experience with chronic illness things do become overwhelming and it's hard to remain positive. So perhaps it is normal for us. You are not mad but I think you do need to talk to someone to help you over this slump in your emotions.

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink

I know exactly how you feel I am just the same as soon as the oxygen was prescribed in december i found myself in the position you are in I think it is part and parcel of the condition and some people able to cope better than others hopefully one day t ma be a little easier for us all take care x

Winterhill1940 profile image
Winterhill1940

Hi Paul, I have to admit that I feel sad & anxious at times during the day. I push myself to go for a small walk. Watch anything that will make me laugh on the Television. No, not the Trump! I leave background music on-even when I go out - so my apt. is not so lonely, when I return. Keep a small light on. Your note made me realize how lucky I am to have found Health Unlocked. It has become part of my daily schedule. A very large hug for you and everyone here . "God bless us all - our boat is so small - the ocean so wide-but- we are good sailors!" Courage.

mary

mskpjb profile image
mskpjb

Hi Spookie121 - Paul. No you`re not going mad. Like you I`m on oxygen 16 hours a day plus ambulatory oxygen when I go out. I`m unable to do things I`d like to - far too weak now. Like you I resisted taking any kind of tablet till I was so low I frightened myself. Finally accepted just 10mg a day of Citalopram. It`s not a cure-all but it takes the edge off. I think depression is almost a part of COPD. No-one here expects you to have a brave grin and bear it attitude all the time. Here you can rail against things. The members on here are often more understanding than family and friends so have a good moan - it`s good for you ! Love, Sheila x

Ksb6420 profile image
Ksb6420

Hi Paul.. I believe the other replies have gave you excellent advice. You are not going mad, I went through the same thing but I actually scared myself. I decided I had to get help. Taking medication is not meaning you are weak, we all need help at times. Besides COPD I have Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and don't know what I would do without medication to help with the depression and anxiety. You have to decide what is best for you but I would talk to your doctor. Hope you feel better.

junemel profile image
junemel

I get that sometimes, it is scary but fight on. pryers for you for strength and healing.

Hello Spookie121 To be honest I wasnt sure if I was the one of only many that had thoughts you describe. I express how I feel to my wife or kids. I would never hurt myself. I have accepted what is. I had stage 4 cancer in 2006 and the first thing I said when I got done with my colonoscopy and I hear the Dr and my wife talking about major surgery the next day and when they told me I just rolled back over and told them ok. When I was told that 2 lobes of my right lung had to be removed, I met with the surgeon the same day and and got set up for the procedure the next week! Life is full of adversity and we need to meet it head on and accept things we cannot change and change the things we can! The adversity here is "morbid thoughts" the best part of the adversity is that you can change your thoughts. Thats in your power!

My thoughts are usually a result of losing my ability to do things I want or used to do but I try to replace them with other things like just sitting and listening to music of other activity. It feels like I have lost my self worth. Try to be goal oriented, I try to accomplish at least one thing a day and I dont have to make it stressful or a long duration. For me, my wife has always done laundry and a lot of the cooking but these days those roles are reversed because she still works full time. That to me is an accomplishment! You can do things as intense or as relaxed as you want but little things for even 15 minutes a day is a feat that I accept as a goal met. It also helps with blocking any negative thoughts!

Getting down must be a normal thing and even healthy folks can get in the dumps when things seem a little off.

In the early part of my COPD I would have a a moment when I felt that my world had just gotten a little smaller and take 5 minutes with my wife and either cry through the moment or just talk to her about why I feel the way I do!

Morbidity to me is about dying and the best part is that I tell my self and the Dr that its Okay because it cant be all bad, everybody I know is doing ,some just sooner than others.

Im O2 24/7

JP1954 profile image
JP1954

morbid thoughts. Never had them as a child but now they creep in unexpectedly .etee is right. You need to try and occupy yourself, any distraction or goal as he aims to do each day.

Perhaps taking a little medication can help you become less anxious. I would speak with your doctor and see what he advises.

I read somewhere that all you have is now, this minute, this second. Tomorrow is never guaranteed no matter who you are. I think that the recent events in Manchester, both Westminster and London bridges and the horrific tower fire lay testament to that fact.

Best regards JP

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