Over several years, I have become increasingly more heavily involved in caring for an elderly relative of my ex ( ex is blind so still running around after him too...) The gentleman still smokes, has been hospitalised twice for exacerbation of COPD but stable for over a year but is now not going up to bed, not going outside (except to smoke), never going to the kitchen to get a drink, neglects hygiene and changing clothes.
This all sounds like I am the worst carer ever BUT he never uses his oxygen, saying "Well I've been told it doesn't help bring my breathing rate down, so I sort of forget...." He doesn't use his nebulizer or Spiriva inhaler either, only Fostair and Ventolin.
Every day I am practically begging him to let me help him get washed and changed, to use his oxygen and to keep moving regularly but he brushes me off. He says he is ok in himself, not depressed but it distresses me terribly he just sits in his chair day and night, watching rubbish TV.
He is very thin and would barely eat if I didn't provide all his food and drink and encourage him to have at least one booster milkshake a day.
I know these lung conditions can be debilitating and being breathless can be frightening but I feel he just won't try to do things he really is capable of ....while he still can.
I have spoken to nurses when they visit - the last time, she smiled and said "Well just keep doing what you can- we all know how stubborn Mr C can be".
Sorry for long post...been following forum for ages and learnt a lot...I am just at the end of my tether, as an (unpaid) carer for a non-relative who won't open up and tell me how he really feels and is in denial about how poor his quality of life has become.
What can I say or do? I do see his daughter occasionally but she has a young family and is going through a breakup- she knows his situation but doesn't want to get further involved.