British Lung Foundation

43,886 members • 50,817 posts

There is no place like home

I have missed talking to my family on here. I had, well still have a massive headache. My headache is lingering I think. Well I hope everyone has been doing good and has been in good spirits. I want to tell you about this site and what it means to me, I know it means the same for a lot of people. You begin to worry about other people because you know they are worrying about you. I can come here and talk and it feels like I am talking to family. This picture is my family when I was a little girl. I am the one at the further at the left. You all are a support system for me and I hope I am one with you. This is not a pity party just someone who is talking getting things out and talking to my support family.

I got a call yesterday and was told I needed a Lung function test. I haven't seen a doctor since my diagnoses. So this lady was going to set one up for me. I was going to have her make it the same week as my MRI for my brain. My husband started hitting the chair and I asked him what was wrong and he replied I told you only one appointment a week. So this next week is race week at Atlanta speedway. We normally don't leave the house because of all the traffic. So I told her to make it that week. She heard my husband and told me she would get me in when they could get me in. My husband has not talked to me about my cancer, how it makes me feel, nothing. There is no support here at home. I didn't allow him to pull me down with my cancer, but he did make me realize that I can't depend on him when it comes to cancer. Thank you for being part of my family and my support group.

18 Replies

oldest • newest

Azure_Sky

That is difficult for you. have you got someone else who can take you to appointments? You really need to get those tests done as soon as possible. The sooner treatment is started the better. Your husband is in denial at the moment. Once realises how serious your situation is, he may change his attitude.

Danna

in reply to Azure_Sky

Dear Azure, He knows how serious this is, I told him I would have treatment because I didn't want him to lose his house and he did not once say no I don't want you to do that. We will get through this. I did ask my best friend if she would stay with me when I was in the hospital and coming home she did tell me yes. I am thinking of depending on what happens to go spend the rest of my time with my grand kids. Do what is best for my mental heath...lol Have a wonderful day

Azure_Sky

in reply to Danna

If your husband is not supportive at this very difficult time, then being with your grandchildren, may well be the answer. As I said before, quality of life, is more important then putting yourself through unpleasant treatment, which is not going to cure you.

Danna

in reply to Azure_Sky

I am going to put my feelings out and then go from there, If I can't get the support I need at home, then I need to go where I know I am loved and supportive and there is nothing like granny I love you.

Tee1008

I expect your husband is frightened, Danna, and ignoring what he doesn't want to hear (denial as Azure Sky says). Have you told him you need his support and how you feel about the lack of it and how important it is to you?

I am sure you will get plenty of generous support here on the forum, but you need it most at home and hands on...perhaps some things need to be said?

Good luck and I wish you the very best for the tests. xxx

Danna

in reply to Tee1008

TEE, you and Azure are correct, I do need to sit him down in stead of keeping it in. Thank you.

Tee1008

in reply to Danna

I think Azure Sky and I crossed each other with pretty much the same responses there!!

I wish you strength and courage, Danna xxx

Danna

in reply to Tee1008

Thank you Tee, I do have my courage and faith and G_d gives me my strength. the wisdom to get where I need to be

sassy59

Many deal with things in different ways and maybe your husband doesn't want to face up to your cancer. It's hard for you and him.

I am so pleased you found us here on HU and hope we can continue to be supportive.

I hope your appointments go well and do let us know. Love the photo by the way. Take care xxxx

Danna

in reply to sassy59

Sassy how are you today? I hope you are doing well . That photo I think I was 7 in it. I started riding at age 5. There is nothing like the feeling of freedom when riding a horse. Have a great Day...Danna

sassy59

in reply to Danna

I'm good thanks Danna and hope you enjoy your day. Xxxxx

Hidden

I think is tad selfish really .. sure he's going to worry BUT he should try living with your DX.

Most people don't like talking about illness let alone mortality but is sad part of life BUT am sure COULD try.

Guess its finding balance in what your needs are given DX and what he's needs are.

Am just glad you have us here to express your self and feeling.

Wishing you well and keep stong

Danna

in reply to Hidden

Thank you Alex. There are many things a person can take away from you only if you let them, That is not one of them. I hope you have a wonderful day...Danna

Hidden

in reply to Danna

Hi Cheers and so true

Azure_Sky

My husband had cancer. It had spread all over him by the time it was discovered. He lived for 5 weeks from the diagnosis. It was too late for chemo and in any case he had two large aneurysms which could have burst at any time.

I nursed him at home until the end. He was kept free of pain and slept most of the time for the last two weeks, slipping into a coma Sunday and died at 3pm on the Tuesday.It was very peaceful.

While I hope, most sincerely, that you can be cured, I am telling you this, because I want you to know, that dying from cancer, is not as awful as many seem to think. Your husband may be terrified and afraid to talk, for that reason.

The moment he died, the sun came out and a bright beam of light came right across his face.

Danna

in reply to Azure_Sky

Dear Azure, thank you for sharing. My condolences to you. I am glad you had 5 more weeks with him. I am not afraid of dying. I am more afraid of treatment. I just want my wishes know. I want them followed. I guess I shouldn't worry about that either. I am worrying so much about my kids and grand kids. I am worried they won't get what I want them to get. I am sitting here now wondering why i am even worrying over that...lol I will keep you in thoughts, nothing is going to be easy, but you are never alone. Thank you for opening my eyes to what is important. Hugs and Love Danna

ruby80

This is the first time I am replying to a post as I am a Newby. But your words have encouraged me to reply..since I found this site I do not feel.alone and isolated. And any question is always answered by someone to give help and guide nice. So I hope I can be there for you Danna like everyone else.on this site

Danna

in reply to ruby80

Thank you Ruby.