For Sale : One used and abused body, has been trouble free for 65 years, now showing signs of age. Reason for sale : I want to be a cyborg!

Seriously guys, biological bodies are just too much like hard work.

Alarm clock was set for 5:15 am but it didn't go off as I was already awake and had been most of the night. Did I ever miss my morning coffee! :( only plain water to be drunk, no food either. Looked at the weather charts and not impressed by the prospects of another storm next weekend. I have trouble doing up my shoe laces, the first time I have experienced it, not being able to breathe properly whether bent down or putting my foot on the stairs. I was really annoyed by this (polite version) and had to go and sit down for a while and relax and recover my composure. A second attempt was successful, by which time it was 6:25.

The plan was, 15 mins. walk to the bus stop, 1 hr journey, 1/2 hour to get from the bus stop to the hospital and find the PET Scan trailer which is parked at the rear of the hospital.

Sounds easy doesn't it?, until you find that there is a major redevelopment taking place, it is all a huge construction site! Nothing is recognisable to me, Alliance Medical had emailed a map to me, I even cross checked it on Google Maps. Both maps were way out of date to what was actually there. I had a general idea of which direction I needed to go, but I had to try to find my way around the new, half constructed buildings without losing my bearings.

One of my COPD nightmares is getting lost somewhere and not having the breath or my legs cramping up to be able to find my way out.

I finally 7:45am....for an 8:30am appointment! It is bitterly cold with a stiff breeze, my luck seems to have changed, the staff are there and the reception is open and was already warm. They were a bit taken back with me being so early, but satisfied with my reason (excuse) for it, being that a requisite for no exercise or lifting heavy weights was required, they wanted you to be really relaxed. I needed that time to recover from the long walk and become relaxed, after all I was like Thomas the Tank Engine at that point.

I mulled over how it was that I was so early, it took a while but I figured it out. I had caught a bus that was running very late and the driver was making up for lost time. I had not really taken any notice at the time, my mind fogged by lost sleep and trepidation of the reason why I was making that journey at all.

I had managed to get a lift back, but would have got a taxi. Traveling home on the bus would have been a big "no no" I was radioactive afterwards and instructed not to go near pregnant women or young children (within 2 meters/yards). I would have no way of knowing who was or wasn't pregnant around me, young children I could avoid probably.

I waited outside the local pharmacy until it was clear of women & kids too before asking for my repeat order and waited back outside again, they then brought they out to me, it was nice and warm, out of the breeze and in the sun there so I really didn't mind and in no rush.

Now the long wait for the results, trying not to dwell on it, which is both extremely hard to do and be totally pointless.

19 Replies

  • What a journey you have had 2greys, not much fun either.

    I considered your for sale ad but then remembered l already have a 65 year old, who didn't sleep much last night and struggles to do up his laces........your twin perhaps?

    Take care and try not to worry but l know that's not easy. Take caste xxxx

  • There are plenty of of others out there that have been in this place called limbo, I'm not the first and it would be a nice thought, be THE last.

  • Wow! Type of days you can do without, but at least it's over and done with now. I hope that you're treating yourself to something nice....but don't overdose on the coffee, lol.

    I know it's far easier said than done, but please try not to worry. Keeping everything crossed for you. Pam XXX

  • Hi

    I was going to ask about the guarantee. But after reading the full specification. I decided to keep my model circu 1947. Slight wear and take due to poor care by current owner. Can be recycled for medical research.

  • Signed up myself, they can have my carcass, saves on funeral cost too. :)

  • Oh what a time you had, hope you have recovered now and resting. You sound like me I always go early for my appointments, reason being i used to use a scooter. Which was fine but sometimes a couldn't get it together, or it would not have a power in it. So I would end up walking in to the hospital. I also get very short of breath and also have lots of back pain. So i have fulll sympathy for you

    Hugs for you XXX


  • Quite a story-teller!! Yes don't dwell on it, when are you supposed to hear?

    Well have as good a week-end as it gets and let us know the outcome x


  • Well.........The plot thickens.

    "when are you supposed to hear? "

    I finally get home to find a letter from the hospital dated 21st Feb. in which it says a followup appointment has been made for 24rd Mar.

    On leaving my previous consultation a Nurse flags me down with an information leaflet for me and says that the date was "generous" and would probably get an amended appointment to an earlier date and not to read anything into it, not to worry about it"

    How long? a piece of string? Appointments can just as easily but back too!

    The unknown and the fear of the unknown is a breeding ground for anxiety, fortunately I have learn't a lot from this forum and able to spot when anxiety starts.

    Do NOT think of a pink elephant with a blue trunk!...................."not to worry about it". Although I'd rather know than not know, it does bring along it's own can of worms. Makes all the more difficult for the staff too "be damned if you do, damned if you don't" comes to mind.

    One word only sums it up. Difficult.......all round.

  • Well not so bad to tell you the truth..those appointments are a headache. Wherever you go or live..

    For example I made an appointment to see the specialist in Lyons France for my LAM in last September I think and I got it for January 16th. The French LAM association recommended him. He was very good. Worth waiting for. He had read my file, listened and answered my questions. Just a great guy. I wrote and thanked him because you get those few and far between and especially in a old tatty looking hospital, in an office the size of a cupboard.

    I actually live in Switzerland now but I wasn't too happy with their system. I have a good respiratory unit locally though but there are only 20 cases of LAM in the whole country. Well they did make an appointment to see a cold fish 3 months after my CT scan, on June 3rd, first he had lost it and said we'll give you a ring and another appointment, a letter came for December 1st..So Switzerland is no cuckoo's nest^^

    Good luck with your appointment x

  • Oh two greys, sounds like the 7 feats of 'what's his name?' Poor you, need to be strong to deal with all this, as for the offer of your body, I see your 65 year old body and raise you my 67 year old body, one, not so careful owner🤓 Try not to worry and take care xxx

  • Mines is actually 66 years, nothing but trouble for the last year though.

  • Wow what a journey that was. Think I will pass on the 65 year old. Take care 😊 xxx

  • Wishing for the best possible news for you 2Greys,

  • Hi 2 Greys!

    I have just read your post.

    Thank you for sharing.

    Writing down your stories is so valuable and inspires those who read them.

    I admire your determination.

    If we don't help ourselves, we cannot expect positive change.


  • My determination is totally inspired by others, if they can do it, so can I. If it were not for the Internet and this forum I think, mentally, I would have fallen apart long before now.

    (edit) I know that I would have fallen apart long before now.

  • I can see that. I totally agree! Helpful information (even those who can interpret findings should we need it) but most of all and maybe most importantly, to keep us laughing....I really get what you mean't about wanting to be a cyborg! That is visualising yourself onwards when you feel like you really can't. Well done!!! Hope you have a better day.


  • Quite a trek for you - well done! Hope your results are good.

  • Just had a letter this a,m re the cancer I had whipped off nearly a year ago; after readiing your post re-read it to check on time - 14.20, so I won't have to rush! Am relieved they're checking on it as have had a few concerns but not enough to send me off to doc. Am so lucky to have a son who transports me to all these medical shindigs and insists on being present to hear every word on the grounds that Mum is "hard of hearing". I feel much sympathy for you 2greys, won't tell you not to worry - that is a given - but things are very seldom as bad as we fear (says she quaking in her boots)! Just as well we have somewhere to share.

  • It was very early for having adventures. Appointment changes can made, but I always accept whatever time & date they give me and one of my pet hates, is being late, for anything.

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