Not coping

I am really struggling at the moment and need some help but the site I used to come to for help and support has died a death in my opinion. I don't do dogs n cats as they affect my lungs and I cannot understand people with real lung problems can entertain them. I am dying so am brave enough to vent my thoughts.

In my time of need I don't need these silly childish squabbles to 'dent' my moJo. Quit the squabbling we don't know how long we have got. I know where my energy (singular) lays.

God bless you all I hope you see the night through and tomorrow is a new day.



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51 Replies

  • Hello SK l am feeling sad having read your post, because having not heard from you for a while, l stupidly thought things were better for you. Clearly l was very wrong and l appologise unreservedly.

    The good people on here get along well on the whole but with so many members there are bound to be one or two glitches.

    As for the cats and dogs, there are those, like yourself, who are not keen on that side of things but many get such pleasure. Everyone is different,

    I am pleased you posted and l just want you to know that l am here for you as are others.

    Sending love to you and hope to hear from you again soon. Xxxx

  • Thanks Sassy

    You are always so kind with your responses to others (and me).

    I have not felt that the site gives me what it did in the early days when I joined,

    I remember the kindness of members welcoming me to the site - when I was scared and nervous of posting.

    I just think the squabbling is taking away from the point of the British Lung Foundation's hopes and wishes.

    My sincere wishes


  • Dear Steph what wonderful replies you have had so please join in the forum again. You have been missed and we are here to support you. I personally remember the laughter, good times and not so good, nothing has really changed and it would be good to chat again. You can always pm if you want to. Here for you always and hope your daughter is doing well. You take care.

    Lots of love xxxxx

  • you don't have to be a cat or dog lover to be on hear we have lots of members with different views and a few with a sense of humour but we are all hear because we have a lung problem and to support each other

  • No sorry it's me I came on for lung problems. Grandad brings his dog over but my lungs are so precious the I cannot tolerate the irritation to my system.

  • Hi SK, I'm so sorry hon that you're feeling so low, there are still some very helpful and supportive friends here, you know who they are and you only have to reach out as you have done. God bless you too. xxx

  • Oh my darli g it is so good to hear from you. We all miss F and both your posts. Biggest hugs it would be lovely to hear from you more. Xxx

  • It's lovely to hear from you too sweetpea ... now ... what's going on.

  • I can't breathe and it is getting worse. So having a really pants time of it. Made a new year file with all the docs my daughter needs when it happens. I have no regrets even smoking. I have a good lived life and know when my battle is over. Not yet I hope but it will happen and I will be prepared for it. Xxx

  • Aww bless your heart hon ... you're such a brave girl. Are you on oxygen at home? Do you have anyone around you for support (friends, family)? xxx

  • Steph i have hardly seen you on the forum over the last few months....... your usually going to the gym and talking about healthy stuff your doing and eating to keep you fit so i assumed you were just very busy

    What can we do to help x

  • Thanks Mandy

    if there was anything i could do I would give it a try but I am up against the odds at the moment and just doing my best to get by. Some people crave attention at the smallest hiccup. I just bumble along by until i reach the point when I cannot cope. Before I relied on this site for comfort and support, these days I don't feel the same.

    Do you remember waking up in the morning and the first thing you did was check on our members to see how they are doing? It isn't the same now and I ' don't think we will get back to the camaraderie that once was?

  • Although i agree its not the same on here because we have lost so many much loved members other members like you have stopped using the site

    There are members on here who are great friends and check on each other every day in just the same way and they are also usually the first ones to reach out to strangers and offer support ....

    Its unfair to say you dont get comfort and support when your not coming on here anymore and telling people you need there support...... no one is psychic on here (i dont think)

    We are all struggling with life steph some of us more than others but if you used the forum you would find there are people who would be there for you in a heartbeat just like all these messages have said

  • SK what's up? Talk to us please. I am very concerned about you. Don't isolate yourself tell us all about it. Whatever is up we can help. Please let us Bev x

  • I feel isolated because I don't do cats, dogs and unsupported claims.

    I sincerely thank you for your help and support.


  • Lovely to see you SK and I am so sorry you are having it tough at the moment. Sending love and healing vibes. Bless you. xxx

  • Not sure if it was your healing vibes or the storm we had last night but something has stirred me.


  • I don't care what it was as long as it worked. xx

  • Hello SK

    So sorry to hear you are so unwell at the moment

    This site has not died death, we are all here as normal to offer you support and help in your times of need, and some humour that might brighten your days.

    I often look and read the posts and replys from years ago...Much the same as over the last two years since .l have been a member.

    There was the odd disagreements then, as there is now, but in the main, a great bunch off ill people, trying to help each other to cope in anyway they can.

    God bless you, we are always here for you.


  • Anyone who needs support always gets it on here. No one is forced to read posts they don't like. the biggest problem on here is the trouble makers with many names as you know. But all forums have same. So if you need support all you need is ask and people will offer it

  • So very sorry you are feeling like this. It's inevitable that with such a huge number of members, little hiccups are bound to occur now and again, but certainly we are here to offer help and support in any way we can to any of us that need it. The little light hearted relief we may get posting about our pets or other things do actually help us get through the dark days, and it saddens me to think you are hurting because of it. I promise you we are all here for you in any case, just as you would be for us.

  • Sorry that you are having problems now. I have missed you, you were a frequent "poster" when I joined the forum and I wondered how things were for you. Hang in there, we are all on your side and offer you all the support we can.

    K xxx

  • Thanks Kat,

    Yes, I reminisce about the times in the past when we were a good supportive group. I am sorry to say I feel things have changed and that is why so many GOOD people are no longer posting.

    Sad but true IMO.


  • Hello Sokrackers, welcome back. Sorry things are not good for you but thank you for the advice about not squabbling, enjoy today no one knows what tomorrow may bring. I have problems with pet hairs but appreciate that pets bring a lot of pleasure to some people. Was nice to hear from you hope to speak again soon xx

  • Hi Katie

    How is the old boiler? LOL

  • Sorry for late reply busy day on Wednesdays. This old boiler is just getting by with a few MOT failures :) :) The metal one for heating is still going strong but some of the attached gadgets, i.e timer switch and lounge radiator are not giving of their best, when they do a service it is only the boiler that is checked although my insurance covers all my heating. You have a good memory Sokrackers recalling our last chat topic. Have a good day feet up in front of the fire and relax as weather outside is not going to be good. xx

  • Hello SoKrackers, we've not heard from you in quite a long time, so sad to hear you are not coping when we thought you were doing well.I hope your breathing improves for you soon . Just about everyone here has breathing issues of course and lots of us have cats and dogs, I have a dog called Max he keeps me walking every day and I know if it wasn't for him and oxygen I wouldn't be as fit as I am today.😊

    I don't think you could find a better site than this for support and advice with plenty of fun and camaraderie thrown in to boot! Hope you stick around , take care SK , huff 😊xxx

  • Great reply Huff, you have summed the forum up very well.


  • Great reply Huff, you have summed the forum up very well.

    In my opinion, most people know when they are posting something that will cause or carry on petty squabbles or will cause offence to the many good people on here.



    EDITED by mrsmummy to take out repetition of other posts.

  • Thanks Velvet I absolutely agree !😊 xxx

  • It is such a shame that you are feeling low enough to look on your life as though you are "dying". I prefer to think that having Emphysema for the past 25 years and unable to do a lot of the things I use to love and enjoy, I am thankful for the fact I am still here and able to enjoy my family and friends and get out of life all that I can. Yes tomorrow is a new day and maybe now you know there are still plenty on here who wish you well, you be able to smile again and feel a little more positive. It is true that if you smile the world smiles with you.

    We all wish you the very best and having this problem is not an immediate death sentence.

  • Oh thank you GM

  • So sorry to hear of your current circumstances Steph and you have my total empathy in your perception of what's right and wrong with this site, a thought we used to share regularly in the past when we thought we could take on the world. Remember The Preacher? Like you, I have much less time (and energy) to waste on petty arguments with closed minds. I am alarmed to discover you are in such a dark place, but I know you will have struggled to come to terms with the loss of your old sailor mate Fred, but what about the positives of your daughters new job - how is she doing? If there is ANYTHING you feel I could do to help, please PM me. I promise no pet pictures.

  • Owww Love ya mate.

    I will let you know when the cloud lifts. So comforting to know you and other 'oldies' are around for support.

    You got any fish for Friday?


  • Only the Birds Eye sort. Too cold to go out to catch them. Waiting for the warmer weather, lungs can't cope these days. Need 3 cylinders now for a full days fishing, just as well I'm still driving or I'd be pretty much house-bound.

  • You not deep sea diving with 3 cylinders???? LOL Your message brings me so much pleasure. Xxxx

  • Hands off! He is part of the fun crew! And an oldie who doesn't post much any more. Lets get the 'love' back and have a good lung group again?

    XXX hanne - ditto to what you are saying. Fun and a good sense of humour

  • Hello SK,

    I don't know you, nor your illness history, but I am old enough to know something about humanity. I have only been a member, and not a very active one, for a year or so, but I do read a lot of posts - enough to know that a very high proportion indeed of the members are only too willing to be helpful, but if we need it, we need to ask. Squabbles are almost none existent because we all have the same aims - to improve our own health and help others to improve theirs.

    Please try to think positively about the future, however short a time we think that is. We don't really know how long we have; any of us, but most look forward to tomorrow with some degree of optimism. Life is really wonderful. Believe that please. Engage with nature, get out into the countryside if you can, watch the birds in the garden; the nature programmes on TV, listen to music. These are all wonderful things which surround us. And talk to people about humour and comedy - I personally enjoy this as it encourages my mind to think funny thoughts which are very therapeutic. Have a good giggle. I believe that humour is a vital human sense which when stimulated makes us all feel good.

    Try to lift your thoughts above those of your illness and think about these other more beneficial aspects of life because it really is worth living you know; no matter how ill you feel.

    Please don't think that I am lecturing you. I just read your post and felt very sad for you.

    With very best wishes,


  • Ow Eric

    Some fine words there. Only the other day I stood outside my house admiring the dawn and or dusk. Life is beautiful - but it would be better if I didn't have to huff and puff for breath! I have new meds and loads of vick so will survive. I just want to change the survive to 'thrive'. More positive thoughts are appreciated.


  • Hi,I don't know you either, but you sound so down. There are lots of wonderful things to help through and the bed one is family, friends and people who understand. We are all here for you, so please chat away no matter if it's just a moan, or a good laugh. You take care, keep posting. Love Bernadette xxx

  • Thanks Bernadette your words are sincerely appreciated.

    You know what I got for Christmas?

    A wooden leg!

    No it wasn't one of my main presents - it was just a stocking filler! Ha ha.

  • Krackers as ever! :p xx

  • :)

  • nice one😃 xxx

  • Hi SK, sorry you are feeling so down. I think the site is very supportive but I suspect you are depressed. I get depressed sometimes & tend to not post, at these times. It's been Christmas, a difficult time. I think all of us want different support at different times. Although I agree this is a 'chest' site and shared knowledge is invaluable, sharing photos & news of our lives is equally valuable. I hope you soon feel better. Lots of love, Margaret Xxx

  • Thanks the off side.

    I have been fighting this COPD and have done well in the past. September puts me in 'bed' for 3 months but I have had to work through it. I have to work full time. So up at 6am back home for 6pm and straight into bed. Sometimes I have gone to bed in my blouse, skirt and tights only to put me shoes on to go back to work in the morning. Der that's when you know things are going wrong.

    I am fighting my way through things

    Always a challenge but I am a fighter for things wort fighting against.


  • Hi Sk, It is wonderful to hear from you. Sorry you're not doing so well. You always inspired me so much. You never gave up and were always trying something new. I tend to agree with you somewhat. The site is not the same. I read the older posts a lot. They are much more informative. As always, there are most loving and caring people on here. New members are responded to brilliantly, as always. It has most definitely lost something along the way. I don't post much anymore. Good people, though sk. Your posts were always good. I miss them. I miss learning things to do to better my condition. Give everyone a chance, and tell us what's going on with you. Love and hugs, Ruby🌹

  • God bless and keep you safe

  • I am relying on him to get me through. XXX

  • Hi Sokrackers

    Sad to hear how you are feeling and hope things pick up for you. Hope you are lifted a little by the amount of support you have on here. Take good care of YOU.

  • Hi Chriskho

    Many thanks for your kind message. Down isn't enough to describe how I feel but I have had a better day today.

    I notice from your past posts you are an advocate of exercise - I agree it is the best way of improving our situation. Unfortunately, I have been diagnosed with 'spondilyosis' (crumbling neck and spine) so a bit limited to what I can do. I am desperate to start swimming - what do you think?

    My fev1 is down to 1.01 and my Pef is 134 so i have a lot of hard work to do to improve these figures.

    Many thanks for your support.


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