Had it up to ere

Had it up to ere

I am so miffed of I carnt stop thinking about my partner I constantly think about her most of the time wishing she wasn't gone I can not see a way forward I've tryed to think of things to keep me bussy in the last 18 months I have took my time I started in the kitchen first plastered part of the wall that needed it then painting it pulled the tiles up put new flooring down painted the ceiling put new lights up and new light switches and new doors then started the front room pulled carpet up pulled the tiles up put all new skirting boards on painted the walls put blinds up new doors then put a wooden floor down put new lights up new sockets then painted the stairs and landing put new door on the bathroom new floor in the wet room sealed it all painted and regrouted tiles new taps new toilet seat and then started on the upstairs bedrooms I empty them then got some acros put them each side of the dividing wall just in case the riped out the wall was a right dusty mess ripped the skirting of all the internal doors built new studded wall were it needed to be put a doorframe in plastered filled cleaned every thing the pull carpet up and levelled all the old floor bored s then put a oak floor down oak skirting new door oak tg around the walls new curtain poles new sockets put a lot of light up and in new sockets and extra one 50 inch tv music system oak draws painted the walls put fan light up and extracter fans front and back a fire log effect and new shelves and bits and bobs new cables for the phone and internet put the Satalight cable back in wired it all up countersunk lights in the ceiling cctv screen for cameras alarm system on the house then waxed polished every thing and now I have the floor like a reflection put a corner suite in to walkin wardrob insulated the attic put Emergancy lights in invade power ever failed new boiler and that kept me bussy now I am tryna think of something to occupy my thoughts as I don't sleep coss I carnt stand dreaming as it's so reall and I remember my dreams soI put a bike hoist at the top of the stairs to store the bike out the way and all through that my dog as watched and no doubt woundered if I was off my Barnet bless him he seems to like the fact there's a suite upstairs and down stairs I did that to stop me thinking to much now am back to square one ,,,

9 Replies

  • Ni one can take the memories away they will always be there, your partner will always be therein spirit. Think of the good times,what would your partner want you to do. Try to be strong and hold those memories dear to your heart. Love Berny xx

  • With all the skills you have you could consider doing some voluntary work

  • You have been really busy and it all looks great. Lavish some tlc on yourself now too as you deserve it. You are still grieving so have to go through that process.

    We are here for you so please remember that. Xxxx

  • Hi Llokie, I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. Did your wife pass unexpectedly? There are no words to make it better. I wish there were. Keeping busy is good. You just have to take it one day at a time. Keep your days full. You are an amazing carpenter. Help someone in need. It will make you feel better. Maybe try to get some meds to help you get some sleep. Thinking of you, Hugs-Ruby🌸

  • It all looks lovely, but it's not solving your problem is it. Have you received any professional help to assist with the grieving process? You'll burn yourself out if you're not careful, and your body needs sleep.......so please get some help. Take care. Pam XXX

  • Agree with Pam, you should have help in getting you through the grieving process. I dont want to sound clinical, but i lost my husband 2 years ago. There are ways of dealing with the sadness. You will never forget but you will learn to live with your new life. All the best love Pergola X

  • The grieving process can be really long. Maybe the dreams are your partner's way of trying to talk to you and help you through the process. Be busy, maybe join a bereaved group or activity group where others can listen to you and the dog is a great way of getting exercise and talk to it. I always found dog's a great comfort in times of distress and upset. Take care.

  • Hi what do you do in your spare time?


  • My word, you are very skilled. Wish I had those skills! Can we see a photo of your dog please? I would love to hear all about him.

    I lost my husband last July and have sleep problems. When |did night work, somebody told me it is as good to lie in a darkened room.

    That way, your body will get some rest. I get nightmares too, also long involved and convoluted dreams.

    Dreams/nightmares are your brain's way of sorting out and organising your thoughts and memories. Like a computer.

    Bereavement counselling is helping me a lot. My counsellor is employed by the hospice that oversaw my husband's care.

    Your GP should be able to recommend a bereavement counsellor to you. There is also Cruse for people who have been widowed.

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