British Lung Foundation

I would like you to meet my DAD .. One have talked fighted so much for

I would like you to meet my DAD .. One have talked fighted so much for

My dad is nothing special nor remarkable BUT he's very special to me ... and he's my dad.

The one and only all ever have and am battling he's cruel horrific disease to keep so much.

Dad if only you knew how much i have thought battled.

Together WE have come threw so much dementia alzheimer .. Acute kidney injuries pneumonia SEPSIS.

Neglect lack of care TO name a few.

A road full of those that say they care BUT when you need want they DONT

Disappointed in those so called professionals.

I guess its just me and you.

DAD am i really this strong.

SOME days i wonder BUT i look at you ALL fridgile as innocent as a child.

HOW can i lie and say everything going to be fine.

The lies ... the everything going to be fine.

WHEN i know its not going to BE fine THE gult the innocence.

How could life be so cruel o what terrible disease dementia alzheimeris yet DAD your so strong happy.

If only i could BE so strong.

If i only could be lost in cloud of innocence BUT as i have seen WHO would care FIGHT for your social cvil rights.

Solicitors are not interested in medical negligence claims THERE no different than those that say they care when i reality the don't GIVEN your alzheimer dementia.

But you know what DAD am young and i care and al never abandon you

Might not always get it right but am free and here for you.

I just ask you keep smiling when i lock at you.

AND dad don't change cause if no one else cares you know i do and always will.

BE as innocent carefree as you like DAD CAUSE am there.

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53 Replies

your dads alright with you caring for him


I wish i knew how long i can keep fighting HAVE been told my last pneumonia jab not working SO got to have other today.

Nocking about hospital with wards full of those with pneumonia not recommended for those with lung disease

But what can you do WHEN trust issue with those providing critical care when your looking out after your dad.

Just got to hope WELL thats all can do guess hope i will stay well enough.

Bad times to be sick in uk given neglect lack or care and state of nhs

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Hello Jeff

Your love for your dad shines through in this post, he couldn't ask for a more caring, loving son.

He looks content and happy on this photo, because he knows you are there for him, in his time of need.

Seeing a parent ill and suffering is very hard, you are doing your best for him Jeff, your Dad knows this.

Remain strong, and enjoy your time in each others company, precious time, when your love for each other will shine through, above anything else.



Hi Velet As been trying times really especially over Xmas MY dad was suffering bad neglect BY ward he was on SEPSIS & SHOCK ward mistaken for is condition.

Needless to say he's waight as fallen of and he's bodies been dumping water ALL is cells salts was bushed HOW he survived is testament to how strong pure of heart must be.

Coz I know it was not there care.

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That photo speaks volumes Jeff. Your dad is very lucky to have you.

You're doing an amazing job......stay strong.



Hi pam cheers I did not just want my dad to be anonymous txt LIFES count and don't think hospitals appreciate that in hustle cuts to wards

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Jeff, be careful. I know (from experience) that we want to lash out and blame others - that's natural but, as emotions are limited are you better using anger as the emotion ... or love?

I get that, sitting on the outside it's easy for me to say this, but I have sat on the inside as well. At some time in the future do you really want to look back at your cloud of anger ... of the love and happy memories of you and your Dad?

I wish you a large helping of whatever is best for you and helps you through these dark days.


Hi y_not cheers thanks you are right of course THERE is so many I don't think I could pick one I could lash out at.

Only thing that stoped me was my dad was stuck there.

If he had been at home would been other story GUESS was lucky for me and them BUT the never got off scot free as I sent pals round to see how my dad was being neglected given there poor care.

Is shocking indictment of poor care neglect especially as they had seen he's care plan needs and choose to disregard it.

I just hope my post DO help others AS I have found if you leave it or don't say it .... You will do regret it

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That's a lovely photo of your dad, Jeff. What a kind face. Keep reading y_not's reply and keep strong. Look after your dad and yourself, xxx


Hi Watfordgirl cheers thanks y_not is clearly right and that's all I wanted to do was look after love my dad BUT poor care neglect worry IS not a nice thing to add to any condition.

Am just glad that eppersode looks like it might be behind us SO I can continue giving my dad quality care he needs deserves.

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What a lovely picture Jeff. Your Dad looks so sweet. I know that you are really struggling to look after yout Dad and get him proper care. Is there anybody looking out for you?


Hi Stillstanding we have care plan and list of numbers but just like fair weather friends WHEN you really do need them there not there.

When my dad dose come home going to throw useless care plane at social worker.

Morning JAS and your lovely dad. Thank goodness he has you by his side to fight his corner and make sure he gets proper care and attention. Don't feel guilt as you are doing everything you can inspite of your health problems. I salute you.

Good luck with the pneumonia jab. Take care xxxxxxx


Hi Sassy am feeling better now dads feeling better.

I just hope is over worse now GOING to glue is walking stick to his hand NOT having out like this again.

Pneumonia jab turned into farse at my GPs I went and the lost my none urgent prescription for it ... and was going to give me one that never worked.

Good job I copied it from lung doc SO back there to get it in morning AND think all read whats on label before the stick me GIVEN there Xmas incompetence

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Brilliant picture Jeff, reminds me of a chap I used to work with long time ago. You sound like the anger has subsided a little. Some things we can't change but everything you say is true about care for some. Your Dad looks happy and for now thats the best thing you can have, the illness is a soul destroyer, take care, keep well so you can be with him as you wish not much to hope for is it Jeff every best wish xx


Hi Katie cheers defo right about soul destroyers AND effects your breathing NEVER felt so ill.

Is doing better AND I am to ... I left him sat there watching TV eating fav crisp OBLIVIOS to anything that had gone on

I feel for you mate!

Keep doing what you have to do and feel good about doing it all!

Be proud of yourself!



Hi Firefly Cheers Thanks

Your dad could not wish for a kinder, more loving son. I often think back to my mother's last weeks in her Care home, and wish I Had done more. Yet I am not sure what I could have done. Just been there more I guess, You will have no such thoughts, but you must take care of yourself. Your dad looks at peace with himself - you must find comfort in that. God bless you both. LOve Iris x


Hi Lyd Sorry to read about your mother AM sure like me you did all you could ... I feel I could do more regally but what I don't know as am not doctor or nurse so is hard espicaly when you put your trust in them to do right thing.

How lovely - your dad looks like very sweet person. Your love for him can't be doubted and he's so, so lucky to have you - he know you have his back. These are difficult times for you Jeff, but you are doing all you can for him and you should be so proud of yourself! Great advice from y_not above - stay calm through all the adversity if you can. All best wishes to you both x


Hi Dedalus Cheers and thanks defo going to try keep calm head BUT is hard when everything is falling apart round you.

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What a lovely photo of you both. Wonder what your Dad is thinking? He has such a thoughtful look on his face x


Hi pergola cheers thanks ... Not sure what he's thinking BUT he did say last time he was in hospital was ike adventure.

But he USALLY talks of escaping BEFOUR he fell he said was going to walk to wales SO stuck badge on him give him whistle gloves hats AND said don't forget you walking stick.

He got to garden gate and forgot and come back in saying it to noisy.

So made him brew and asked did he find cat.

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A moving tribute Jeff. Hang on to each other - none of us knows what's round the corner so just try to stay in the moment and enjoy each other.


Hi O2Trees Cheers Thanks WAS horrible when sepsis had him.

He could not remember ME or CAT he loves HEARTBREAKING was.

I guess that's why I went mad as I want him back way was am just glad I got him back

Jeff you dear Dad is special - he must be to have such a loving son who not only fights his Dad's corner but can also write so movingly about. I can feel the love in your writing.

Love to you both.



Hi Cofdrop Cheers thanks am sure it's only what others would do done.

Thanks again for such kind words

Such a lovely kind face your Dad has xxx


Hi Vashti he suits smiling for sure.

WHEN I look I see emptiness vulnerability Guess it's like the say when he's sad am sad and when he's happy am happy.

Jeff, hang on in there. There a little poem which all of us relate to.

"To the world you are but one person,

But to one person you are the world"

Your Dad knows this deep down.

Good luck Jeff.

JP xx


Hi Jp great poem and thanks defo agree

That is so nice

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It's a very great pleasure to meet your Dad...I can see where you get your good looks from 😄

You are doing a lot for him by sheltering him with your love and that is probably what he remembers most...that is the curse - and the blessing of Alzheimer's.

I hope he is able to come home soon and be back with the people who love him so much and thank you for the introduction. xxx


Hi tee it's my pleasure really and thanks.

Dads doing well is eating drinking blood pressure stable and been like that day half SO hoping he will be home sooner WELL in my opinion.

Defo agree about curse blessing of Alzheimer's guess that's why try fill he's days with happiness.



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Hi Jeff. Your dad is special he brought you up to be a loving caring son that's fights for what's right. Your dad is lucky to have you fighting his corner .he looks lovely. I hope 2017 is better for you both. xxxxx


Hi e2dye cheers thanks ... :)

What a lovely pic,great to meet your Dad,he looks a real gentleman.

He is lucky to have such a caring son,he knows it 😊

Take care,you have to look after yourself,to be able to look after him,

Best wishes to you both xx


Hi Wendells cheers thanks is heart warming reading all replays good wishes.

Don't feel quite alone ... thanks for advice defo going to try :)

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It's lovely to see a photo of your dad -and you too. He looks fairly well but there's that sadness in his eyes. I went through all of this with my mother and when she was in hospital and in pain, one earnest young doctor told me he wouldn't give her so much as an aspirin to prolong her life. I had quite a few things to say to him, as you can imagine. They discovered she had a kidney infection and it cleared up really quickly and she wasn't in pain anymore. Everyone with Alzheimer's needs a relative or friend to look out for them and your dad is so lucky to have you.


Hi Billiejean Defo agree about look of sadness fills me sadness to GUESS that's why am so protective but saying that given my experience he dose need protecting.

As to pain DAD had operation and hospital let dad refuse pain relief for few days BEEN everything I had to fight is corner for but know he as morphine patch.

Thanks again and thanks for sharing own experiences

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I understand completely Jeff. What I left out in the other posting was that the kidney infection got better once they started antibiotics. But because her Alzheimer's was so advanced then, they really had no interest in treating her physical problems. At that stage , she was half gone already and she died about two months later. But at least she didn't die in pain. Just for the record Jeff, she died very peacefully in her room at the nursing home. She'd been completely unresponsive for a few days and just slept or lay quietly. She was kept very comfortable and I just sat with her, holding her hand and speaking gently to her. It was a big help to me to have been there and seen for myself, how peaceful she was and how death when it came, was just an intake of breath and then no more breathing. This really was a huge consolation to me and the thing with Alzheimer's is that they don't really know what's going on and a lot of things just go over their heads. What's important at this stage is a familiar face and a familiar voice of someone he loves, and you're giving him that Jeff. I hope you know this and that it will make things easier for you to accept. Love to both of you.

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Hi billiejean Is very sad .. Hospital would let my dad die threw there neglect AND pneumonia.

Only when i kicked of they started treating him with compassion and pain relief.

Is shocking dirty tricks that go on if not on the ball.

Quicker i get dad home the better asI have my suspicions about there motives

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Lovely photo of you and your Dad, Jeff, and he is so lucky to have you fighting in his corner. Just make sure you take care of yourself too xx


Hi Jaynair Cheers thanks defo going to try look after myself better WENT for new pneumonia jab this morning and could not have it as full of cold or infection.

Your dad looks like such a gentleman. He is so lucky to have you.


Hi cheers thanks but think am lucky to have him to

JeffAjaxSmith I cried when I read your post. You and your Dad look alike and if he is able to tap into your fighting spirit,then you are a formidable double act. I totally get what you say about the "evil dementia". My wonderful,very elderly Mother has been living with it since she fell from her bed at home with my Dad. After that(I'm not being rude and I certainly wouldn't have anybody else talk about her!)she never really recovered and can't be left on her own for more than a few mins. Needless to say, I live almost an hours drive away and my dear Dad cares for her as he has always done since they were married some 63 years ago! Dementia is so cruel and so difficult to accept. The person we loved is in there somewhere 100% but the stress and strain on everybody else, is hard to put into words. You have been an absolute,doting son and I imagine harder times are yet to come. Oh its just dreadful and sometimes I wonder how we manage to cope along with our own illnesses? JAS you keep doing what you're doing. If there was a medal for riding through these difficult times,you would certainly win " GOLD". Thinking of you and your Dad- great photo by the way. Hoping for a better year in 2017.


Hi Squirrelsholt Sorry you found post upsetting bringing back memories of own experience AS been rocky horrific road WITH no answers.

How why it's been so tough I can guess doctors mainly gps lack of interest.

My number one mission is getting best for dad with no regrets and trying to keep his life or what he as left hassle free.

Is sad and the is no answers half the time BUT as I have seen from your post and others am not alone AND dose bring comfort to talk to others in same position.

Thanks again for reply Surport and sharing your own personal experience


Your Dad is a handsome chap Jeff and is so lucky to have a great son like you. I hope you realise you are a fantastic son.

My 85 year old aunt has dementia and she is worsening daily but, me and her daughter always have a laugh with her, she's such a happy little soul. She doesn't know what she has, she just thinks she's forgetful.

Your doing a great job caring for him and I commend you for it. xx

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Your Dad is very lucky to have you as a son and I bet he is very well aware of your love and kindness.

I wish you both the best.

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One picture is worth a thousand words, comes to mind, when I look at your photo. Beautiful photo. What a marvelous dad you have! What a lovely tribute to him, you wrote. Definitely worth hanging up. You are surely a son anyone would be proud to have! Lovely post, Jeff..😁 Ruby🌹

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