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Weekend Wit - out of the mouths of babes :P

Plumbob profile image
5 Replies

Hope the current weather we are having is easing ? And your all breathing a bit better :P

Have a good weekend folks and start it with a smile :) :D :D

Children and Church (out of the mouth of babes?)

A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?"

One child answered, “Mary."

The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?"

A little kid said, “Verge."

Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"

The kid said, "Well, you know, they are always talking about Verge n' Mary.''

3-year-old Reese:

"Our Father, who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen."

A little boy was overheard praying:

"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.

I'm Having a really good time like I am."

After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.

His father asked him what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wants us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you and Mum."

A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to Church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

One Bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.

Finally, his big sister had had enough.

"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."

"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,

"See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.

The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.

Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.

"If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Dear, would you like to say the blessing?"

"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.

"Just say what you hear Mummy say," the wife answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite these people to dinner?"

And Finally -Empathy

After a long day I stopped at a local watering hole and had a few libations. I was thinking about the events of the day and decided that I'm going to try to be more understanding, tolerant and exhibit more empathy and compassion for my fellow human beings.

While sitting there a young woman came into the bar. She was crying and obviously distraught... Time to display my empathy with my fellow man !!!!

I went up to her and asked her if she was alright and if there was anything I could do for her. She calmed down a little and while fighting back tears she told me that her cat had died and that she wished she could have another one just like it.

So I asked her..........."Why the Hell would you want another dead cat?"

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Plumbob
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5 Replies

:-D :-D :-D I don't know how you make them up! Sign of a misspent youth?

Breathing much easier now we have our proper weather back! Hope this applies to you too Plumbob!

Plumbob profile image
Plumbob in reply to

Thanks Jennifer- like most people with breathing problems the weather doesn't help with breathing but we've got the winds and the cold to look forward to :P Yippee but at least if its too warm you can turn the heating down/off unlike the summer heat :P :P But it all goes with the territory :P so we just got to get on with things and smile :D :D :D

in reply to Plumbob

We certainly do - we are tough hardy creatures, like wild ponies......well in my case more of a wild piggy shape:-)

Magpuss profile image
Magpuss

👏👏👏😁😁

Jessy11 profile image
Jessy11

😂😂😂 good to have a laugh! Take care 🌷

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