British Lung Foundation
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Weekend Wit :) Hope you all have a good one :)

The Second Apple

A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car. Both of their

cars are demolished, but amazingly neither of them was hurt.

After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said; "Wow, just look at our

cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.

This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live

together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from


The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is

completely demolished, but my bottle of 75 year old scotch didn't break.

Surely God meant for us to drink this vintage delicacy and celebrate our

good fortune."

Then she handed the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opened it, drank half the bottle and

then handed it back to the woman.

The woman took the bottle, immediately put the cap back on, and handed it

back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

She replies, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the police."

Adam ate the apple too!

Men will never learn!

Food for Thought

1. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.

2. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably very unhappy.

3. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body.

4. I don't like making plans for the day. Because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

5. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row.

6. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

7. Dear people who check behind shower curtains for murderers: If you find one, what's your plan?

8. Everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege.


7 Replies

heh heh.....some really good ones in here - thankyou Plumbob.

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😂😂😂 I'm so proud of my self Bob, I go to the Jim a few times a day at least, whoop get me 😳😋😜😂 xx Sonia xx


Hahaha, loved the car horn one Plumbob, that would be hilarious - as long as it didn't happen to me, haha xx

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love them thank you xxx

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Hi Plumbob great to see you how are you doing ?


Hi Onamisssion I'm doing the best I can defying medical science and still smiling :) :D I have just celebrated another birthday (which the docs thought doubtful I would see 18 months ago). My daughter and grandson came up from wales to join in the celebrations. Hope you are doing ok ? x


Congratulations Plumbob and you don't look a day over 21, these Doctors don't always get it right so carry on live life to the full family celebrations are always special.

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