The Second Apple
A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car. Both of their
cars are demolished, but amazingly neither of them was hurt.
After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said; "Wow, just look at our
cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.
This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live
together in peace for the rest of our days."
The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from
The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is
completely demolished, but my bottle of 75 year old scotch didn't break.
Surely God meant for us to drink this vintage delicacy and celebrate our
Then she handed the bottle to the man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opened it, drank half the bottle and
then handed it back to the woman.
The woman took the bottle, immediately put the cap back on, and handed it
back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
She replies, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the police."
Adam ate the apple too!
Men will never learn!
Food for Thought
1. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.
2. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably very unhappy.
3. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body.
4. I don't like making plans for the day. Because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.
5. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row.
6. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
7. Dear people who check behind shower curtains for murderers: If you find one, what's your plan?
8. Everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege.