Arguement with Daughter.

[roger52]

OK I'm home now from a short stay in hospital. Yes I know I have let things get on top of me and I have given in to the depression and stopped looking after myself as I should. Mainly it's been house work, I know you all know that when you are troubled breathing it's hard to pull that big cleaning machine around. I also have dogs, although I keep them cut short there is always some hair around, but it got really bad and the longer I left it the worse it got. So my daughter and I had a real big row about getting rid of my doggies, I can't they are my world. I know if I look hard enough there will be a solution, I am asking you lovely people for you ideas and advice as to how I can solve my problems. Thanking you in anticipation. Avril.

[Titchy52]

roger52 I know what u mean I'm lucky because if I can't manage my daughter cleans for me,and has Mr bear my pug got sleepovers every weekend good luck x

[sassy59]

Hi, not nice to have rows with family but it does happen sometimes. I expect your daughter thinks things will be easier without your dogs (how many do you have?) but she is not understanding how much the dogs mean to you.

You can try and do things when you are having a better day or possibly see if there is someone who can help you do the housework. A friend or relation maybe or even look in the local ads and someone may just want to do a little job like that. Obviously references need to be seen then but who knows?

Hope you find a good solution for you and make it up with your daughter.

Wishing you well. xxxx

[roger52 in reply to sassy59]

Thanks for the advice Sassy59, I didn't mention that my Daughter lives 130 miles away and I have no family near me at all. I am waiting for Age UK to contact me and hope they may be able to point me in the direction of a cleaner for a couple of hours a week. Hey ho, onward and upward. Thanks again Avril.

[sassy59 in reply to roger52]

Age UK should be able to help you Avril so good luck with that. xxx

[madametobacco49 in reply to roger52]

Avril,im wondering if AGE UK is like our social svcs here--I use to work for them back in the day--Basically I went in and did the things clients couldn't do--in order for them to remain in their homes and independent--I bought groceries,cleaned toilets,did dishes,vacuumed--dusted--Many times it was just one or 2 things they needed and Id go in like twice a week... so something like that would really help you--although I don't remember any pets... You mustn't get rid of your dogs--and try to make her understand--I am with my cat 24/7 --Per Drs orders he is a companion animal and they cannot charge me extra on rent--Oh id be lost without my boy--There are times I don't get out for days but im never alone-Well The irony for me is- Im starting to now need some of the svs I once provided--and I have a hard time asking for anything--you know that old remain independent thing--I get scared that if I let someone in and they see how sick I am sum days they will turn me in to the powers that be and ill get railroaded--Not fun aging alone--Sometimes you just have to let things go--I try to do stuff on good days--and it works but then there are days I cant and back to point A--well ive babbled enough--You are not alone--The answers will come--I just keep asking --when?????????????? MmeT

[Hidden]

Hi Roger, As a lady living on her own with heart disease, extensive bronchiectasis and a fluffy dog I suggest that you invest in one of the cordless lightweight hoovers which hang on the wall to charge. Dyson, Vax, Bosch, there are lots. Choose the strongest motor that you can. We need our doggies, they are our soulmates and guardians against the black dog of depression but we do need to keep our houses as dog dander free as possible. I hope that you are feeling better soon.

[Ergendl]

We bought a robovac. It runs around sweeping up all the bits and hairs by itself, but does need to be extricated from difficulties sometimes. It's great fun to watch too. My husband does hoover with a conventional vacuum cleaner, but the little robovac is always able to pick up some more afterwards.

The other thing you could use is a carpet sweeper. It is manual and much lighter because it hasn't got a motor in. My great aunt used to use one to keep her house clean when she was in her eighties, around 1968, but they are still available and can be very cheap.

[Hidden]

How many dogs if two or three can you just keep one which will be a lot less dog hair i know i am a bright spark as i got 6 but me and the wife take it in turns to drage the hover a round down stairs as the wife has bad asmer and i have copd sever but all the dogs are not aloud to go any were only my dinning area as it leads to back door have a word with your daruter and keep it only in the kichen or near the back door as it us much easyer to keep clean and wipe your feet before you go in to the liveing room as hair sticks to your feet and shose

[roger52 in reply to Hidden]

My daughter lives 130 miles away, and with no other family in the area it's a struggle. I never asked for help before, but I must now. If I get somebody to help a few hours a week may be I will be able to keep up with it. I am on my own and didn't know who to contact for help, but the Resp Nurse says I should contact the local social services and she is putting me in tough with Age UK. Thanks for you reply, it's really appreciated.

[Hidden in reply to roger52]

I know it is hard to ask for help as i never asked for help at all until i got this illness and then i was to hard as i thought to plus i use to say no thanks i can manage untill one day i was trying to put some plants in a pot which i had to lay over the floor which is about 4 feet high and only about 3 feet wide and as i was laying across the floor i ran out off air and my son had to run in and get my pump that was one of many .so as i know i have to ask for someone to do my jobs i use to do my self .so get as much help as you can as some times a out sider is better to give you advice after seeing things go for it good luck

[Tee1008]

I am sorry things have been bad for you recently, Avril. Not looking after yourself and things around you are fairly classic depression symptoms...never mind adding your breathing difficulties in to the mix. I hope your stay in hospital has helped?

I can totally understand that your dogs are your world...how many do you have?

Tee xx

[roger52 in reply to Tee1008]

Hi Tee, I have 4 dogs, small ones. My groomer looks after them for me when I am not well or go to my daughters for a few days. She lives 130 miles away and I have no other family in the area a live. I have a couple of friends but they have their own problems, who doesn't. I try to find gadgets to help me around the home, but maybe it's time I employed somebody a few hours a week. My stay in hospital was wonderful. I was sent to a different one this time and the care was exceptional compared with the last one. Thanks for your reply, it's great to know that all you wonderful people are out there and I am not really alone. Regards Avril xx

[Tee1008 in reply to roger52]

It's good to hear that you were treated so well in hospital, Avril. You sound as though you feel better for it! I hope you can get some help at home...it should make all the difference and save on those arguments! (Mind you, I am perfectly happy to pass a duster, polish and point to the vacuum to anyone who feels free to comment on any of my lapses!!)

I expect your dogs were thrilled to have you back home...

All the best

Tee xx

[Watfordgirl]

Just to say I'm sorry about your real big row with your daughter. I'm sure everyone here understands why you need your dogs, and I bet they're pleased to have you home.

Sounds as though a cleaner could be your best option. Do you get any benefits to help you pay for this? If not, it might be worth thinking about.

Take care, look after yourself, make friends with your daughter and tell us what happens!! Sue x

[roger52 in reply to Watfordgirl]

Thanks Sue, I do get some DLA so paying for a cleaner is not a problem. I am sure I willl get it sorted. Thanks again for your support Avril xx

[Watfordgirl in reply to roger52]

Just wondered if your daughter's upset about her mum being ill? Well, of course she is, and she lives quite a long way away and if you didn't have dogs things would be easier for you in terms of keeping your home clean. But not in terms of your quality of life and I bet that deep down she knows that.

Dogs here play a huge role in peoples' lives. They'll be looking after you as best they can and I think they understand more than we know.Enjoy them, Avril!! Sue x

[Bevvy]

I think if anything the dogs will be helping with the depression! Because you can afford it really look into getting a cleaner. Newsagents often have adverts for them or ask neighbours. Or as you have had suggested speak to Age Concern. Also ask for an assessment from social services. You may get the cleaning paid for!

Agree with others in relation to cordless vacuum cleaner. I have a Dyson which is marvellous. It copes well with fur from my cat but because you have a number of dogs maybe you would be better with the cordless Dyson for people with pets. I got mine from Argos who had money off offer at the time.

[montymillie]

hi avril, so sorry about you falling out with your daughter It must be rather upsetting. I arranged for social services to assess my auntie, she really needed help she 85, and her place was quite bad and she could'ent use her bath get in and out of it. I got her attendance allowance to help pay for a carer, to wash her twice a week and I also sorted out a cleaner for her who comes once a week for 2 hours. she is a lot happier now the place is clean and tidy, and even says some times about the place being dirty if her cleaner cant come one week. I totally recommend you get a cleaner I also got my self one a long time ago as I have 2 small dogs, and boy do they shed. I so look forward to Tuesdays (my cleaners day)!!!

it will do so much for you mentally when you see your home every week how you would like it even though now you, your self can't do it, pay a person to do it.

when you tell your daughter that your getting it sorted, I bet she cools off and things hopefully go back to how they were.

take good care of your self and your darling doggies, martine xxx 😊🐶

[Hidden]

Hi I have heard that the Gtec vacuum is very good. It is very lightweight so easy to move but they are expensive. I know a couple of people with severe copd who use it.

As for the dogs - could you afford a dog walker for a couple of good runs a week? x

[mmzetor]

best thing we done with dogs and kids/grandkids in the old house was have laminated flooring put down had all downstairs rooms done and vinyl in the kitchen it was a case of sweep it with a brush and then mop it so much easier to keep clean , in the bungalow we couldn't afford to put laminated as had lot of costs associated with moving so had all the rooms done in vinyl , the living room we had done that looks just like wood floor boards people have come in and though it was real wood flooring and again its just sweep it with a long handle brush and go over it with a mop so much better than lugging a hover about doing carpets

[Sheilab123]

Hi Avril hope your feeling better after your stay in hospital, depression is awful. I think your daughter is worried about you with living so far away. But you must keep your doggies and you must get a cleaner. I would be lost without mine. Take care Xx

[Shocked1]

Get a cordless dyson they r fantastically lightweight they run for 20 mins you could vacuum everyday and keep your doggies. You can get a special pet hair connector that doesn't clog up. Push down a little button empty straight into the bin. Best investment for me. 💕💕💕

P.S. get a cleaner too!!! Life's too short so live it as comfortably as you can possibly afford. 💕💕💕

[ccannaday]

I know that your dogs are important to you, I know mine is, it doesn’t matter how the day is going my little fur baby, just acts like she just loves me so much. I have to battle with depression, and if someone ask me to get rid of my fur baby, it would break my heart.

I would suggest to ask your daughter to help with the vacuuming? I will vacuum it takes a while though, I vacuum then sit down and repeat til it’s done.

My husband gets mad when I vacuum, because he knows it is really hard on me. I just have the one fur baby. I hope everything works out.