British Lung Foundation
33,795 members41,246 posts

bad week

want to dissappear for [mothers day ] can,t cope with the emotional stress and everyone just upset angry

not been out all week so isolated and lonely been crying alot i have no family or friends only my husband and son spend from eight in the morning til 5 in the evening totally alone 2 much time to think missed doctors appointment ?found neighbours cat dead while walking with son 2 school had 2 comfort him etc,

not been 2 well since the plursey afew weeks ago so daughters got the the hump cause ain,t been in touch but she nevers hardly calls anyway been so cold wheather not had no motivation to go out and

do the things i wanted 2 fed up want to scream out loud asi am inside ,cuse dont want this c.o.p.d taking what time and energy i got left away its not gonna win cause allready lost 2much.went on the depression

alliaince blog [as recommend]but it frightend me v.dark and scary but really needed 2 talk 2 some as i am

feeling really tearfull about my son but to ashamed and embrassed and everyone blames me and turns there back one me asi fully understand its there right 2 ,even my own daughter but as a parent your a parent 4 life so bladly want to give up smoking but its my crutch and keeps me sane [if that makes sense]

trust me i not a bad person and trying to do the best i can but no one really listens they hrer the what im sayig but not listening theres a workshop 0nthe 17 at my local church onhelth and wellbeing etc,

try to go 2 that but dont think they really want someone like me there thats way i not been for 2yrs .

so desperate and lonely eyes are stinging with holding back the tears husband about at the moment?

putting so much time and energy into trying to be normal and get better because of my anxiety i cant travel etc, ibeat last time why can,t i now its so unfair should not say that as there is people much worse than me but life has thrown all it can at me 10 yrs espicially inthe last 5 yrs to last me a life time and cause of my copd had 2 give up my vounterly work which i loved and i miss it so much

so 24 hrs to go and i have no where to go dont want the emotional pain of the day hope all you lovely

kind people out there have awounderfull day and stay happy and healthly and life is kind to you all

thankyou .

23 Replies

Rant and rave if it gets out of your system....try and not allow negative thoughts get into your head. Their not paying rent so shift them with loving warm thought...

Have a lovely weekend and think good! Audrey Jersey.



You're not a bad person...and you are trying. You are going to a health and wellbeing course at church and that's great. Churches should be open friendly non judgemental places so you will be warmly accepted there.

It sounds like a lot of negative things have happened to you lately and so you are bound to think more negatively.

I personally went through a really bad patch a few years ago as I left an abusive marriage and I thought I'd never be normal again!

Things have turned around for me and although I have my own health issues now....I actually feel happy and look forward to the future.

You sound like you could do with talking to someone(which your GP could refer you to). Are you on meds for the anxiety(I found my anxiety was linked to the depression I had)?

Look after yourself....get yourself better and then you'll be able to sort any other problems in your life,




You have taken the first step by letting all your fear and frustration out...I think many people on here will have felt similar emotions at times for all different reasons.

You will be feeling extra sensitive I guess because you are recovering from pleurisy...that can really take it out of you.

Treat yourself as gently as you can....I know it can sound trite but love yourself because you are worth it.

This weekend will soon be over....I am not looking forward to Mothers Dsy either, my three adult daughters live away, and my own elderly mother died in August in difficult circumstances.

Monday is the start of a new week.....can you contact your GP for an appointment an explain how you feel. Also try ringing your local church and hopefully someone can come out to you, that course sounds very good.

I went on a six weeks course for people with long term health conditions...learnt a lot on how to cope and met others in a similar or worse predicaments.

I also go to a weekly coffee morning st my local church....there are four of us there with lung problems. Is there's a Breathe Easy club near where you live too?

If you live in the UK, the BLF run a helpline which is open during office hours ....they can offer advice.

Take care

Ps sorry for the typing errors...think I need new glasses


I don't see any errors...kittner.


🌷Hello tippietoes🌷

Stop beating yourself up, you are Ill, not only with COPD, but it seems you are very anxious and depressed.

It's nothing to be ashamed of, depression can be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, and can be treated.

Every emotion overwhelms you when you are like this.

You say you try to act normal in front of your husband...this is the last thing you should be doing, you should sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel, or show him your post, he cannot help you unless he knows how you are feeling.

You must get yourself to the GP's, and tell him exactly how you are feeling, it doesn't matter if you sob your socks off must go , and you must tell him.

It's the start on your road to recovering, and believe me, you will recover.

You seem as if you like to be outdoors normally ( previous post ) and at this time of year when we stop indoors , some of us suffer with SAD, seasonal affected disorder, mainly due to lack of daylight.

Try to sit in the garden more on a fine day...wrap up and try and go for a walk, or you could try a light box, you can purchase them on Amazon.

I know l shouldn't say this, but this is also the wrong time to give up smoking, if it helps to calm you, have one...perhaps in the garden away from your son ?

When you are stronger mentally, that's when you could try to give up.

Break your time down into small manageable bits, don't get over loaded trying to fix everything at once.

Fix yourself first by seeing your GP.... the rest will follow😂

Love, hugs and good luck

Velvet x


Hi tippetoes I pray for your broken heart. Please try to go to church if you were in my church we would care if you hadn't come for two years. If you don't feel you can walk straight in then contact them via email just to say hello I sure you will be welcomed back. I am putting you on my pray list. Hugs to you my friend.


Aww bless you, you're having a tough time at the moment. Telling people, especially people close to you how you feel is the hardest thing ever. Sometimes we can't find the words, sometimes it comes out as anger when that's not what you mean, and sometime people misunderstand what you are trying to say and it ends up as an argument.

It's brilliant you have sat down and told us about everything that's happening so I wonder if you could sit down on your own, and write a letter to each of them telling them how you are feeling and how hard you are finding everything at the moment. You could even write a little letter to your son just explaining how mum isn't feeling well at the moment and how you are working to get better.

Your daughter sounds angry and perhaps by writing down what is happening to you and how you are struggling perhaps in a moment when she is calmer she can go back to the letter and understand your fears and loneliness and it may pull the family back together. Ask for help, from all of them, even little ones can help, I'm finding this whole business is very isolating, try and involve them in your treatment, walking etc.

I hope you feel a bit better soon, and remember the guys on here will help and support you through this xxx


Hi again.....hopefully on Sunday for Mothers Day someone can post a lovely picture of flowers or a nice scene( I still can't do it though I have tried)

Everyone has had or still has a Mother, so we can celebrate together .

It may be a day of mixed emotions but log onto the site and hopefully there will be something nice to see and brighten the day.

Take care


I have already lined up a nice little ditty to make you smile :)

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Follow the good advice on here, do talk to your doctor. I got very depressed when I was in the menopause, could that be a factor? The weather will soon improve, the extra daylight now will help. Try to go outside, if only for ten minutes, Do you enjoy reading? A good book can take you out of yourself. Keep in touch, communication helps. Love Iris x


I think you feel guilty about smoking and family have run out of sympathy. Please try to join a group which will help. You sound young and hopefully have a long life ahead. I have never smoked but know many people find it so hard to stop. My son smoked for years till a bad bout of infection made him decide to give up. It was hard but he has done it and is better for it. Life is hard coping with COPD. I'm a great Gran now and recovering from a bad infection. However keep positive and do try to get help for your depression. You should try to go to the meetings on stopping smoking. The surgery can point you in the right direction. Try to keep in touch with your family by email or phone. Ask for their support. I pray you will feel better soon


I use an e cig. smoked for 40 years and found the transition easy. You won't stop smoking, you'll just be smoking something different. you soon get used to it. I told myself it was this or nothing :)


You have been given good advice with lots of excellent suggestions to help motivate yourself. Breathing problems with associted symptoms such as tiredness can really pull you down, this can make everyday life difficult to cope with and make small issues seem like mountains.

The only thing I would add is to make sure your COPD is properly controlled, speak to your GP or nurse about your low mood and get help, whether that is medication or counselling or both. Take small steps to integrate again with your local community, the church workshop sounds like a good opportunity and you don't need to stay long if you don't feel good. The main point is to take the first step towards helping yourself and allowing others to help you too. Perhaps in time you could volunteer for an hour or so, maybe nothing physical, answering phobes for example . The object being to build your self esteem and make you realise that you are a worthy person.

Mother's day is just another day, some celebrate, some don't, don't get too hung up about it. The main thing is to try and get well again. We have all been in stressful situations at one time or another when the road ahead seemed bleak, however the sun will shine again and light up your path, if only you will let it.

Hope you feel better soon.


I'm so you're having such a bad time, tipplestoes. You've had lots of good advice here, and understanding and I do hope you can find some help in it. Read through it a bit at a time and again and try to think a little more positively. Try to like yourself again - you're worth it! What's bad can get better. . . . Good luck, and love, Sue.


Meant to say sorry instead of so.

And I think it was really brave of you to share how you're feeling so openly and hope it helped.

Tomorrow's 6th March - forget the Mother's Day bit. It's a day. x


Hi tippiestoes please don't dispair. I don't know what area you are in but if you put in your computer nhs community care you should be able to find someone to help you. Where I live in Plymouth they are called Plymouth Options, you can self refer so don't need your doctor to send you to them. They have all sorts of help including counsellors who can help. They will listen to you please do give it a try.


Hallo Tippitoes. It sounds as if you are going through a bout of severe depression. Please see your doctor and discuss it, with him/her. You may be able to get something to relieve the depression if that's the problem. Depression is harder to cope with than any physical illness - well most. You still have your family and your husband. Some of us are completely alone.

Hope you feel better soon and that Mother's Day is not too horrendous!


Try and follow Barbs advice. It seems as if you need professional help to overcome your depression.

This is the address of a popular site dealing with depression. Hope you can gain something from it. The author was a famous New Zealand rugby All Black.


I'm so sorry if this sounds harsh.....I learnt long ago that ain't no one going to rescue you/me/us.

We have to dig deep into the depths to find the strength and courage to dig ourselves out. If someone does come along with a lifeline, grab it with both hands.

I think though that your folks are fed up with your smoking and robbing them of the mother they love. perhaps they think you are wallowing in self pity. Mine did once I know and they just can't handle it.

Only people who have been bereaved really understand loss. Only people who've been deeply depressed will understand where you are.

Please go to the doctors for help and a lifeline before it gets worse. Peege, sent with love


Hi tippiestoes....I am 65 years old man...I have a young beautiful wife...and 4 beautful children..age..5 months...and...4..6..and 11 year olds.

I also now have Asthma and copd...

As am writing this iv counted 8 other things I could well do without .as each one of them is a constant source of pain and irritation. ..

Then like the rest of us on planet earth have to deal with whatever life Troughs at me....

I found that as old as I am and as young as my family is....I can still talk with them And explain things as and when they happen. .so they have understanding why I am the way I am....and they help me... my 11 year old daughter just made me a lovely big cup of tea.

Take time of and push away thoughts that make you unhappy. ...and replaced them with a smile.

I just asked each of the children to look at me ...and when they did I smiled...I got a lovely smile back...

Might try it on the wife later ....

Andy xx.


Hello Tippiestoes, I think you are having a rough period but you had pleurisy; sometimes takes a long time to fully recover from this. Some people find they get depressed taking antibiotics as well. As others have said you do need to let your family know how you are feeling. I know it isn't feeling so right now but there is life with copd _ honest. Ask your G P if he can send you to pulmonary rehab. You will find it so helpful , for depression & anxiety as well as your chest problems. A.big hug to you, love Margaret x


Lots of great advice already given, so I will just send you a great big ((((HUG)))). xx


a big thankyou all and everyone for the the kind words and thoughtfull advice happy

smiles and tears at this time wish you a world of health and happiness,

lovetoyou all tippietoes xx.

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