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Quite long - but so funny. Hope you can open the pic's?

Quite long - but so funny. Hope you can open the pic's?

Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn't take itself too seriously.

Check out their new livery, and get a kick out of the crew comments at the end of the photos.











There is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want and passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it !"

On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning

down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings.. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it 's something we'd like to have."

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."

"Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker:

"Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo, a flight attendant on a flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

From a Kulula employee: "Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth . To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."

"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."

"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.."

And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town : The flight attendant came on the intercom and said,

"That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."

Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline". He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it ?" The little old lady said,

"Did we land, or were we shot down?"

After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg, the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.."

Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today.. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."

Heard on a Kulula flight: "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing... If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."

22 Replies

Brilliant 😂😂😂 ( couldn't see the pics but the write ups made me giggle ) xx Sonia xx


Very funny for a dreary Friday - thank you xx


Yep - comments very funny - well done! Extremely droll. Couldn't see pics but hey - thanks anyway xx piggi


Shame you couldn't see pic's they're very funny too.


Hi, could not see the pictures but appreciated your post. Cheered me up Kaye x

1 like

Nickers, Just a question? Where did you find this? My husband just killed himself. Will forward to my sister who lived for years in Africa. Kaye


Kathiesue .....A friend in the U.S sent it to me quite some time ago. The pictures are very funny too. XX


Wish I could have seen them but funny anyway. I cannot post photos except the whiskies. Maybe for the best, sister's partner posted me Attagirl knee pads that was funny but naughty.Kx


Thanks Nickers,couldn't see pictures but comments made me laugh keep warm n well God bless naresh62X


God bless you for that, have tears of laughter rolling down my face, was feeling bit fragile as on my own, son just gone out to Firms Christmas do so won't be home until morning, now can't stop sniggering.


Glad it helped SG. I do like a good giggle now and again. XX


Hilarious - thank you. My kind of airline!

Annie x


Nikkers Loved it thank you .


Thank you Nikkers, that was brilliant :D :D :D


A page with some videos of Kululu Airways.



Thanks for that AS. XX


You really excelled yourself on this one it's brilliant cannot stop laughing thank-you ♥♥♥


Love it! Just shared with my hubby (who has NSIP and is on oxygen so mornings are tough going) but it made him smile. He is South African and we've heard some of these on flights we've been on. Brought back happy crazy memories, thank you x


Loved it, just brilliant. Thanks Nikkers,



love it thank you xx


We flew with Danair or Dan dare as they were known on one occasion we were on the runway I saw a fire engine driving down the runway at the side of the plane, all of a sudden the plane stopped we were pushed back till the mechanic could fix the one failed engine


Brilliant. Best laugh I've had in a longtime, would love to fly with them! Thank you for posting xx


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