Is There Anybody there?

Is There Anybody there?

Despite walking with my dog twice a day the only human I have seen to speak to in the last two days was the postman asking me to take in a parcel for a neighbour. I would never give it a second thought as a rule, and although communication on facebook and on this site is great, the combination of very strong winds today and my flipping COPD will stop me actually going out to seek a victim to chat with. I am very content with my own company and have lots of hobbies but it is lovely to be face to face with a real someone isn't it?

58 Replies

  • Hello A1J1S

    What a lovely dog.

    When l used to walk my dog, if l kept to the same times, l found that l used to bump into the same people every day.

    It started off with a quick Hello and after a while a chat, and the dogs got to know each other as well.

    We are all on here every feel free to chat away, about anything that takes your fancy....or you could always kidnap the Postman !!!!

    Hee Hee.

    Velvet xx

  • Hello Velvet55,

    I agree wholeheartedly; it is great meeting up with dog walkers. Merlin has quite severe arthritis now and we cannot with the best will in the world, tramp across the fields for a couple of hours at a time any more, and I find that pavement walking is better and easier for him. We both miss going very much as we are both very sociable animals. I feel sad when I go in the garage and see three pairs of wellies and two pairs of boots looking reproachfully at me.

    Now I have joined this lovely place, and see the caring way you all look out for each other, I'll be happy to stay and enjoy everyone's company. My late husband said I was born talking and now I may have a captive audience...heh heh.


  • Jennifer we have a yellow lab who is now getting arthritis her mind wants to walk further but her legs wont she is only going on short walks now trouble is we have a 8 month old lab puppy who needs walking lot further to get his energy burnt off , so now wife and son take the pup and I take the old girl as we can plod along together ,

  • Aaaah....I understand and it's great that you are able to take them both like this. When I talk to my Daughter and tell here how anxious I am about Merlin's health, she says Mum get another for company I could no more do that than fly - Merlin would love it but would be unable to keep up. I do think about the future if I were to consider it. I know Merlin is not going to live as long as the usual lifespan of a Lab, but he has quality which to me is just as important.

  • Hi Jennifer

    I know what you mean with pavement walking...l have had several black labs over the years and they all ended up with arthritis, such a shame for fun loving dogs.

    Velvet xx

  • Hello Velvet,

    Yes, I do sympathise with you. A previous Vet once told me that we should not let our young Lab then jump too high until he was 12 months old to save him later life problems. But - Merlin we took from the breeders at 11 months so I do not know what happened before. We can only take what we deem to see as good sensible advice. They will want to play as long as they can lift their tails. Give Merlin a football and he is in heaven - even now.

  • hi A1J1S

    It's so hard trying to keep labs calm...all our have been manic.

    Guess That's why l love them !!

    Velvet xx

  • Yes - they bring out the child in us - they only have to catch your eye and you are smiling:-)


  • morning velvet bet they tried to turn their backs and hope you hadn't spotted them , do you remember the tv program keeping up appearances with Patricia Routledge when they spotted her and hit down behind their hedges ,

  • Hi mm

    Who let you out of your kennel !!!!

    Haven't you got some packing to keep you occupied, instead of persecuting a quiet, reserved, harmless OAP like myself.

    Velvet xx

  • harmless im surprised mr v hasn't had to put a beware of the wife sign on your gate

  • Hi mm

    Hee. Hee


  • Lovely dog ,yes I live on my own and have needed a wheelchair outdoors for the past 10years live on a hill so can't go out on my own

    I often looks out of my window and watch the world go by I am thinking of having a notice made saying Wave too me as you pass you will miss me when I'm gone .

    All my neighbours know me so don't understand why they don't wave however anyone of the. Would help in time of need

    Take care


  • Hi Newlands

    Can you get a mobility scooter, that would get you out ?

    Velvet xx

  • No chance hill to steep,my daughter says she wouldn't want me out alone xx

  • Hi Newlands

    That's a will have to kidnap the Postman then !!

    Velvet xx

  • Gosh I have lady ha ha

  • Hi Newlands

    That's OK l'm sure she would love a quick cuppa and chat on a cold day !!

    Velvet xx

  • Hello Newlands, and Merlin says thankyou. Now I feel so selfish because I am not housebound and you are. I would not think your neighbours are not intentionally ignoring you. We are all wrapped up in our own thoughts sometimes, and maybe they cannot see you through the glass? Try giving them a wave or a "good morning" and I'm sure if they can see you they will greet you back. Don't you have family Dorothy?


  • Oh I see my daughter every day when she drops Woody her chocolate lab off on her way to work I have a friend that comes most days ,but I don't think you are complaining nor am I my husband died 2001 it's just sometimes I wish I could just pop my coat on and go out

    I am very lucky with my lot compared to other people's lives

    Take care You can see my Woody if you go to my profile he is 13years old now


  • I understand Dorothy. Sometimes you just have to let off sjenniferteam. I can't see Woody - how do I do that?

  • Go into my profile then go down my posts you will see one my Woody

    Dorothy xx

    Sorry press on newlands and where my photo should be that takes u too my profile

  • Thankyou. Instant love for him Dorothy! I am sure you won't want him to leave you when your Daughter comes. She is lucky to have you look after him. They love company.


  • Your dog is a sweetie😊

    Sorry you're so lonely. No friends or relatives near by? I'm quite good at occupying myself too. There are 4 people in my house and 10 cats! I used to work all night. Can't get my hrs. straight. Everyone is asleep but me!. I don't mind. Its my alone time. As we are all awake the same time later. Chat anytime you want. Someone's always around.

    Rubyxx 😊

  • Hello rubyred777

    Merlin says thankyou. He likes cats but I can't have one as the ones that visit my garden chase the birds. I live in bungalow land and all my neighbours bar one are wonderful - it just so happens this week everyone is/has been away and I really missed them all This is why I wrote what I did - there is always someone knocking about or coming for coffee and a chat - and quite a shock to be quiet. Because Merlin is on steroids, he needs to wee quite a lot, so having a slipper pushed in my face several times during the night means I am up and down, so therefore time means very little to me - it does mean though that I am able to watch the hedgehogs coming to feast during the night. I'm trying to fatten up the last couple of smallish ones ready for hibernation. I am happy with my own company but as I said just a shock to realise I had seen no-one.


  • lovely dog , I find a lot more people stop and talk to you when you are taking the dogs out than if you are walking alone , im lucky as I don't live on my own but one neighbour speaks but the other side don't , but we can go all week with out seeing any one apart from us

  • He says thankyou mmzetor, and good morning to you. What you say is very true - but I like my own company - well me and Merlin. Since my Husband died I have found that it is also true that having good neighbours is a bonus - mine are all back home this weekend and life will return to normal. Due to Merlin having arthritis we can no longer do the fields at some ungodly hour, but have to pavement walk meaning no-one else is about between 6 and 7 a.m. (We do know all the local paper boys though to speak to). Dogs are creatures of habit, and if I did not take him out at that time for our first walk I would get no peace. A bonus is that the air is fresh clean at that time:-)


  • dogs are very good company and if you go out always so pleased to see you when you get home when I split with my first wife I was on my own for a while just me and the dog I was working on a farm and i was the only employee so most of the time was on my own , but the dog was good company in the evenings and never complained about what tv programes I had on either

  • Heh heh....sounds good to me! You got the best of the bargain when you split. I've never ever been without a dog from being born, although in my whole life I have only had 6 - all Labs. and all brilliant.

  • I had labs last 20 odd years , shame they don't live longer well its the same with any breed they have short lives really when you compare them to a lot of animals

  • ...Who said a short life but a merry one? It must have been Mr Lab. I must admit I've never expected any of mine to live longer than the usual 14 years, and they haven't and then you break your heart and say no more and then fate intervenes.....

  • Morning A1J1S, I've noticed this exact thing round in the Close I moved into a couple of years ago. Im ok I have a car and can and do visit family on a daily basis. But Ive noticed a lot of the residents don't come out or see anyone or have regular visits from anyone for days and weeks on end. Recently My warden asked if Id like to get the residents together somehow and get a 'community' thing going. Don't know why he asked me but Im up for it. Have visited a canny few of the residents and 100% so far are up for a residents group. Im thinking starting with coffee morning to get folks just to interact and will arrange wheelchairs pushers and car sharing to the community room that is just a short distance (round the corner) from us. Its just an idea at the moment but Id like to see something get off the ground.

    Maybe you could do something similar?

    Jjude xx

  • Hello Jjude,

    You are doing a wonderful thing and you have my total admiration. Maybe selfishly, I have so many hobbies, my fractal art gallery, and a huge garden that do keep me busy. I spent 25 years running a guest house and looking after other people and truthfully when we retired here in 2006 all I wanted to do was have time to breathe! Sadly my Husband died in 2009. It just came as a shock to realise I had had little face to face communication for a couple of days. I wish you every success in your venture, it will make a lot of people happy.


  • Hi A1 J1 5... The Red Cross offered a befriending service to my mother, but I don't know if that is just for older people....the RVS do as well.

    Is there a local Breathe Easy club in your area? I have managed to find some very reasonable priced activities where I can park very near, such as my art class, yoga and WI.

    My local church also holds a weekly coffee morning, and a number of members have COPD .

    Take care

  • Good morning knitter,

    Thanks for your very helpful letter. There is nothing comparable near to me. I did attend copd rehab. for the prescribed 6 weeks last year. It was good to meet like people. There is also a sort of exercise class run by ?NHS not far awy, but the application form for this wanted to know all the ins and outs of Meg's hen's a*se so I decided not for me. I do Pilates, have my exercise bike, walk my dog,have lots of hobbies and am normally very happy with my own company. Just feeling shocked when I wrote to you all!

  • Merlin is absolutely gorgeous. He must bring you so much joy. What does he think of cats? My dog barks at them, he would love to play with them, but of course they don't want to know.

    i can relate to what you say about suddenly finding nobody about. I have spells where lots of visitors come for a while, then nothing. They come more in the summer. Some of my family live out in the country. The traffic is dreadful on the route they take.

    I haven't been able to get out much lately, only for quick shopping trips with my husband. Most times I feel ill at some point. Also have to go where there is a nearby toilet, due to water pills.

    Week one of resting and feet up is over, so hopefully after week two, I will feel well enough to go out properly. Even when my daughter took me out for coffee on Thursday, it wasn't long before I felt really ill.

    Waiting for blood test results now. Being so fatigued, feeling nauseous, getting headaches and having painful feet is such a nuisance. I do remember not to sit or lie down too long.

  • Good morning Azure_sky

    Merlin says thankyou:-) Yes he does - he loves cats - he loves everything and everybody. If your dog is your avatar he is gorgeous! Is he a Jack Russell? One of Merlin's best friends is one of that breed - his name is - wait for it - Jack. Because Merlin is on lifelong tiny doses of steroids his Vet says his urine has traces of female hormones, and because of this - Jack - and many other small dogs - make a bee line for his bits because they are puzzled by mixed messages. Merlin takes it all in good stead. We don't see too much of his pals now though, as you will read from my previous answers to other members.

    I am sad you are not too good healthwise, and sympathise with the toilet thing! It is really good that your Daughter seems to be close by - there is nothing like a Daughter, even if you have a husband to hand. It's a different bond.

    I hope your blood test results are positive and you can gain relief very soon from what sounds miserable and painful.. Do you have copd?


  • Hi Azure..I have been reading these posts about lack of communication, etc. I have severe copd and still drive but I find it very exhausting to get ready to "go out". Fixing my hair, a touch of makeup, loading up oxygen cylinders takes my energy and I just can't be bothered anymore! I find I am happier just staying in. I don't see many visitors but I find I am ok with that. I sense that people feel uncomfortable around my illness. Do you ever feel this way? Jackie

  • Hello Jennifer, Yes I have a Jack Russell called George, he is full of mischief! My grandaughter is coming round soon with her two year old little girl. He loves her. I just have to say baby and he races up and down the hall.

    I do have COPD, I am not severe. I find if I keep out of the cold and rain it helps. Crowded places, especially where chemicals have been used for cleaning, strong perfumes and dust all affect my breathing.

    Compared to what many people here suffer from, my ailments a just a series of minor annoyances. I am sorry for having a moan.

    I am so grateful for this wonderful forum, with all it's lovely members. It certainly helps me when I feel alone. With COPD, I think you can feel alone, even with people close by.

    It will lovely just to be able to take George for a walk.

  • I feel just the same after reading about others experiences on here - I found a good daily shower cleaner at Sainsburys - Method - the Company make other cleaning products but I have not tried them yet. I have to pass a shop selling candles with an American name when I go to into town, oh I have to cross the road for the smell makes me heave. Nothing worse than being stuck on a bus behind someone wearing a really pungent perfume as well. These are my minor irritations. I apologise for moaning too - me who used to eat cigarettes!

    Bet George will be happy when you can both get out too. Best to you.


  • My grandaughter turned up with her partner and three children,age 9, 7 and 2. I have three other great grandchildren but don't see much of them.

    The middle one is a boy, he kept moaning non stop, because he wanted his Mum's phone to play a computer game. He is a strange child. Will barely talk, except to complain. Doesn't sleep at night, falls asleep at school. His Mum is at her wit's end.

    The two girls are sweet natured happy girls. I have never heard the little one cry and her Mummy says she is like that all the time and has been since birth. The oldest has lots of friends, she is very bright and chatty. However, she has been known to lose her temper with the boy. He is inclined to roll around on the furniture and kick, He kicked me not long ago. He has suspected autism but no definite diagnosis yet.

    George has been bouncing around and playing with his light up ball which we got from Poundland. It has lasted two weeks which is pretty good going for George.

    Christine x

  • I feel for you and your granddaughter, but suppose two out of three isn't bad! heh heh. He sounds frustrated, and I can understand the girls getting fed up with him. A big worry for all of you. Let's hope it can be diagnosed properly very soon, and then some action can be taken to help everyone. Your Granddaughter must be at her wits end sometimes. She must have thought it a miracle to have such a good baby as her third.

    My Grandson very rarely smiled as a baby, along with other things that didn't add up. He was eventually diagnosed as dyslexic. Always been A1* at maths but English writing and words zero. He eventually got some sensible help and is now at college doing Computer programming and stuff I will never understand. They give him 25% more time to do any written work in his exams which is great. He always works harder than the others at preparing his course work as he likes to be ahead of the them. I think having his handicap has made him develop a strength of character which is good. Bless him.

    Good for George - keeping it that long is wonderful! Is this a record! Merlin is demolishing a toilet roll centre at the moment. He does keep the bits in one place though and doesn't flick them all over. His toys I get from Charity shops - he had teddies and sheep and minnie mouse etc. etc. They get tossed around.

    It is dark as night outside - what a horrible windy rainy day!


  • Hi I take my sisters dog out every day and have made friends with a number of dog walkers now. Just made another one with a car who loves to go out for the day with company and her dogs. We go out most Tuesdays, often shopping but always find a place for the dogs to run and play. Or some days we just go to the beach with them. It's great. x

  • Dogs are like children coughalot2, they make you lots of friends! It will do you a power of good even just to get into the fresh air, and to have a friend with the same interests and a car -well - you can't ask for more. I wish you well.


  • Thank you Jennifer. I always say there is only 1 thing better than a friend and that is a friend with a car.... :D x

  • heh heh........very true!

  • :) I have another friend one - everyone has a fat friend. If you haven't it must be you :D x

  • Oh no - that must be Merlin....heh heh......

  • Hi Jennifer. I go from Saturday to Saturday (shopping day) some weeks without seeing anyone to speak to. I've lived here for 14 years and still only know a few people in my road. They seem to hibernate in the winter and although I occasionally see someone passing my window, I seldom get to chat to any of them. I have my car, but where do you go? All my family live too far to just "pop" round, so I just get on with it and "talk" to my cats! Lol. :-D

  • Hello Nikkers,

    This is very sad to hear, but I understand about the hibernation bit. Possibly if I did not have Merlin, I would forgo some of my walks if the weather is like it is today. I find bus stops or on the actual bus are good places to start conversations. My local Library is good as they have comfy chairs and tables. Your cats must be great and loving company but nothing replaces the spoken word does it. You are fortunate to have your car which opens up all sorts of possibilities for you - places to go in your area where you can meet people? Keep warm this horrible afternoon.


  • Arrh i come and visit you but im too am housebound to a point my friend pops in and out from time to time.. but its not often she texts more than visits....but my ex has asked me to go back with him... i was shocked but had to say no... as now my health not good...but im used to been alone now.. and dont really want a man back in my life as the bad days out way the good... i would be not good company...these days he is in shock as he said he loves me... ive never slept with him so i was shocked.... too.... but im 53 and content ....he works and to be honest its been a long time since he text me months infact... i reckon its xmas and he lonely must be.... as i didnt see this coming shock of my

  • Hello bigfattoe,

    Aaah - it would be nice for you to have company at Christmas, especially as you know the gentleman already. All you have to do is make it clear that he will not be moving in with you but is welcome to visit! I'm sorry your health is so poor that you can't really do everything you want. Illness is so limiting, it is hard not to get frustrated. It's difficult cutting your pattern according to the cloth you have if you understand me. We have to make compromises so all are satisfied.

    I wish you a good afternoon, keep warm.

  • I had 2 labs I loved going out with them winter I would put on my bright pink willies with a piece missing out of the back of one { dogs playing tug} my thick warm trespass coat scarf and gloves. I would meet lots of people with dogs this one women had a little terrier it loved my labs and would pull its owner till it got to us, then I used to see the old couple they would sit in the window and wave as we went by I do miss them walks winter, spring or summer

  • Hello onamission,

    You have such happy memories of those times, and to have not one but two Labs - you were lucky. You must have had endless fun with them. You know people do miss you walking by their houses once you stop. Can you not have a dog now?

  • Hi A1J1S My daughter is pregnant and lives about 4 hours away and would not be kind to put a puppy in a car for that length of time. My husband works all over the world so it was left to me to care for the dogs.

    My dogs were really good on a lead and on re- call I used to take them in the woods near by they loved it. My husband retires in 8 years so we plan to have a chocolate lab always wanted one and by that time we might be living near my daughter and near the beach labs love water.

    You do make a lot of friends when you walk dogs you are never lonely and its amazing how many people ask if the dogs were not well.

  • Your future looks so bright and I wish you all you wish for yourself onamission. Someone I know has a chocolate Labrador and he is a big big chunky boy. Adorable, as they all are. We do miss walking the fields and meeting up with others, but not worth the after effects for Merlin and we have a good playtime at home and he visits the neighbours.

  • I think boy lab's have a mind of there own our female lab was beautiful if after having her bits taken away she never put weight on we fed them on James Wellbeloved but I see what you mean a lady up the road has a chocolate lab and he is like a barrel

  • You are right there about having a mind of their own- Merlin took over as head of the house when Alex died. He watches me like a hawk and is very protective when we are out if he is on the lead. Alex used to say "Mary had a little lamb. Jen has Merlin" We have been approached a few times with brave men want to give him a stroke but one deep throated warning is enough. Skin problems meant we had to change his food a few times in the beginning but he's been on Skinners for years now. The Chocolate Lab I know is not overweight -he is tall and big all over.....and gorgeous.

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