Life in the Australian army!

( Read right to the very end )

A letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland )

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the station - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody horses to get in, no calves to feed, no troughs to clean - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!

At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or goanna stew like wot Mum makes You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the bullock paddock!!

This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody dingo's arse and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of p...!! You don't even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!

Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.

Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.

I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.

Your loving daughter,


24 Replies

  • Oh I like that! First lol of the day - brilliant!😂😂😂

  • Brilliant !! ! Yep, was a surptise at the end. XXX

  • hahaha i wasn't expecting that.......would love to know where you found it x

  • Good one Nikkers! Definitely a surprise ending 😂

  • That was great, loved the end, so glad I wasn't tempted to look at it first.

    take care

    polly x

  • That's a killer, brilliant. xx

  • We both loved it - the ending made it Kaye

  • Hi Nikkers best I've read on here thanks :-) :-) :-)

  • Thank you Starveycat. XX :-D

  • Brilliant Nikkers! a good grin for the dayXx

  • Loved it Nikkers. I was wondering what the twist right at the end was going to be, but didn't see that coming! Lovely :-) :-) Jan

  • Brilliant Nikkers didn't see the punch line coming! xx

  • Love it...............

  • Feckin' bloody brilliant!

  • Nickkers Just brilliant .

  • I love this! Anticipation until the end and then the surprise! Great!

  • Scary ladies, those Sheilas.

  • thank for that nikkers a good one matey l.oved the accents as well

    they were rightl on target peter jones queensland Australia pspbloke

  • That was bonza knickers!Crikee mate,where did you find that?He must have had a kangaroo loose in the top paddock(intellectually inadequate) Or his humour was a dead dingos donger(dry as)

    Anyway, I better stop there!

    Have a ridgy didge good weekend,

    Hugs wendells xxx

  • Great reply as usual Wendells . Lol. I'd wish you the same ....if I knew what you were talking about? XX :-D :-D

  • hi wendalls i will have what yu have just had a matey peterjones queensland Australia psp bloke goodonyermatey

  • No worries Peter,hooroo 😀xx

  • Would love to send that to my son in Sydney but I am ashamed to say I haven't learnt how to cut and paste yet! Read it to my husband with (if I say so myself) an amazing aussie accent! Lol. Well, he enjoyed it, anyway. iris x

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