I wish I could find a medical reason!!

Good Morning to all I have been a part of this site for only 2 days and completely love it and love all you caring people it is great to be able to talk to many about so many different things, Well aside from my pneumonia I lost my mom in 2010 she passed in her sleep and of course I found her which is stuck in my mind, Every since that day my life completely changed I wake up every night as clock work between 1:30am and 2:15am if I sleep past that time it is because I would have to go to sleep at like 12:00am but very rare does it happen I have been told by my doctor I have severe aniexty / depression I dont believe that this can be treated with medication and I have yet to take any of it that is prescribed to me but is it truly possible that losing my mom could very well cause me not to sleep and all these years still going on she was such a major part in my life she was my best friend everything to me and I know I will never get over the fact of losing her I wish I could find some way to deal with it better I think maybe that was the time she passed in her sleep cause the medical people told me that she was gone a few hours before I found her, I just wish there was some way to get past this major issue of my life cause I keep so much to myself but it does affect me so much.I havent worked in awhile due to I was at work and felt so over whelmed I just walked out I dont like going outside like that or being around large crowds I never was before please any advice I would greatly appreciate or even have a similair story please share. Have a blessed Day..

17 Replies

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  • Hmm, sounds like a pattern you need to break. Do you exercise? That can help sleep probs. good luck!

  • Sometimes drugs for depression are not the answer but cognitive therapy is.

    Just talking to someone who understands what you're going through is a great help. I'm sure your GP would refer you for therapy if he thought you would benefit. I'm not an expert by any means so this is just a friendly suggestion.

    Take care & chat to us, that will lift your spirits! You're not alone, remember that. Someone will come along & be able to give you first hand advice. X

  • Anghey, you have been through a highly emotional situation, that will take time to work it's way through.

    My sister lost her 6 month old son overnight, and she , like you, could not sleep past the 'time' death was supposed to have occurred. however this was 5.30 am, so a more 'acceptable' time to get up and start her daily chores, which she did to ward off the memories.

    it is very possible the GP is right, anxiety an/or depression, can do funny things to any persons perception. So possibly try some of the prescribed medication he has advised. If you are not happy with it, you can always stop it.

    5 years in emotional turmoil is too much to expect anyone to cope with on their own, use any help that is offered to you, start caring for yourself.

    The loss of your mother, best friend, is like losing a limb, you grieve for the loss, you know you can never get it back, but you have to learn to live with the loss.

    The memories will allways be there, as they should, just learn to include them in a positive way, "she would enjoy this" "she liked doing that"

    I know it sounds easy to say it, but really, time is a good healer, 28 years after losing my mother, I still think of her, but I choose to remember the positives. It is easier.

    Linda xx

  • I want to say thank you so much for your advice it has been a total uphill struggle I cant seem to get past and see talking to other family members doesnt help due to the fact that they joke and think I am just holding onto that moment and I wish I could truly let that moment go but all my life since I was 11yrs old it was me and her my dad cheated on her and destoryed our family but she was the strongest person I ever known she never ever allowed me to see her cry and she did everything in her power to make sure me and her where okay and I know that was very hard for her but we just had a relationship that not many have together but you are truly amazing and thank you so much for talking to me and I am contacting my GP today and see if I can get referred to someone else,

  • Good Morning, I can only tell you about my Mum who started with severe anxiety and depression about four years ago. She had the most awful time - couldn't sleep at night, couldn't get up in the morning. She lost so much weight. We encouraged her to go the doctors but this took over four months and she was prescribed medication. It did not work immediately but within six weeks she had improved so much and was back to her old self within six months. Unbelievably (to me!) I also started with severe anxiety at the beginning of the year - oh my goodness all those nights awake. My doctor was very sweet and said to me that he knew the medication would help and although eventually I would probably get much better - he asked why wouldn't I have some help? My advise would be to try the medication. Take good care, lots of love TAD xxx

  • Good for you Tad.

    Years ago when I was really down my then GP told me " when you break your arm we put in plaster of Paris. The p of P doesn't cure your broken bone but holds it in place whilst the healing happens. Think of antidepressants like that". I got it then so took Prozac for 6 months. It took about three weeks to kick in and I've never looked back.

    I would Deffo take it again if I needed to.

    Good luck Anghy. P

  • Tadaw Thanks so much for your advice I think I may give the medication a try because I see it not only is putting a strain on myself but also my son who just turned 19 yesterday who is totally a momma's boy and he worries about me and my health so yes I am going to do everything I possibly can to over come this situation because I have been dealing with it all long enough and I am so menatally drained and emotionally as well but again thank you so much sorry it took me a few days to respond with getting over being sick I have been kinda just laying around it means alot to have complete starngers talk to me about such major issues in my life God bless you.

  • I can so sympathise love - my son is 21 and he was so worried about me. Do try the meds. I never really thought about depression and anxiety until I suffered and it is completely debilitating. Just awful. My sleeping is much better now and I am actually sleeping at night - I was sick to death of watching rubbish tv at 4am! Lots of love to you xxxx

  • Sounds very much like you have got into a pattern with regards your sleep. Somehow you need to break the pattern.

    Certainly you should take the meds from GP. It can take time for them to work. Also sometimes it can be difficult to find the right meds that work for YOU.

    Certain there is a site here with regards anxiety and depression. Try looking for it because there are probably people on there that can help with those areas.

  • glad you are enjoying the site what a great bunch of people here , I have only been here a few months wish I had joined long while ago , so good to be able to get the advice of different people but also good to see the funny things and how people have spent their day and all the different interests , especially for those that cant get out and about gives them something to think about , take care

  • I would be devastated to think that after I died my sons would waste their lives missing me. Get well for your sake and for your mother's sake, take the medication advised and try to look outwards, other people have problems too and you will find comfort in listening to others and maybe helping. I am not saying it will be easy, I miss my mum, of course I do she was in my life for 67 years. do something wonderful in your mother's memory and begin to turn your life around, do hope you can, life is a precious gift from our mother, lets not waste it. Love Iris x

  • Thank you Lyd12 I am going to make me a new appt at my GP today and go from there because I know that my mom wants more for me she always told me to be happy and enjoy life and always make the best out of a bad situation for me and my son and know that she will always be there watching over me cause I always joked with her and would say God knows i Need you mom he wont take you away and if he does I amcoming with you she would say dont be silly your son will need you and you have to be strong as she always said I was . I really didnt think it was a medical issue until I noticed it interfering with sleep eating and everyday routines so I am going to take steps to do whatever I can to improve my situation for me and my son and fiance in timeI will succeed. God bless you.

  • I think the comments suggesting that you try to look at what is happening to you from a different angle are helpful. When my husband died I was very, very sad and tearful for the first year or more. Then I thought about what he would have wanted for me and I knew that he would not have wanted me to get on with my life, remember the good times we had together and try to be as happy as possible.. Your mother loved you dearly and I am sure would want the same for you.

  • Hi, Pentreath, Just reading your post. I hope you mean ..."would have wanted me to get on with my life"....rather than what you have put? Despite that I agree totally with your sentiments. Keep well and kind regards.

  • You are right I thought by now it would of been aot easier but it seems to be getting more harder it is going on 6yrs on 1/27/2016 I think it plays such a major part because I was so so close to her and then for me to be the one to find her that is all I think about I do want to be able to overcome this entire situation and I am calling my GP today to go from there because life is very precious and she wanted nothing but good for me and my son and she told me to make sure I take care of myself before worrying about everyone else as long as myself and my son are good everything else will fall into place. God bless you thanks again

  • Loosing a Parent is an awful thing and it sounds as if you are having trouble coping enough to make your life liveable . I have lost both my parents over ten years ago I have realised that this is part of being the youngest child. A day never goes by without then thinking about them and you must expect that. I agree with many other here that Cognitive therapy would be good for you. Have you ever spoken to Cruse the bereavement charity they are very good and are in most parts of the UK. Good luck to your future journey despite how far it is away there is always light at the end of the tunnel if you look hard enough.

  • I am so sad to read your letter - it moved me to tears, and think I know exactly how you feel. Please don't feel guilty. It was not your fault. My Mum died in 1965 and not a day goes past without me thinking about her and what a wonderful mother she was to me and my siblings and how I wished I had been there to give her more love. About four years after her death, finding myself unable to come to terms with what had happened, I ended up in a a hospital with anxiety and depression. A fortnight away from my home environment and with the help of some amazing Doctors and Nurses and Professionals I was back home in a fortnight with the realisation that I could not change what had happened, my Mother would hate to think I was fretting so much and through time I would learn to live with it. They got me an interview for a job and I started work more or less straight away. I was very lucky in that it was one in which I could utilise my skills and my life moved forward from thereon. My Mum is in a special place in my heart and mind, as yours will be. Just don't let memories of her become sullied by mixing them with other things. Take your medication, but that will only mask your symptoms and make you less anxious and depressed. You need more help on a different and personal level. Ask your Doctor to refer you to a specialist Organisation who will be able to help you in many different ways. Good luck

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