Shady - not for those of pure thought!

Shady - not for those of pure thought!

The missus bought a Paperback,

Down Shepton Mallet way,

I had a look inside her bag;

... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it,

And at ten I went to bed.

An hour later she appeared;

The sight filled me with dread...

In her left she held a rope;

And in her right a whip!

She threw them down upon the floor,

And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;

I might have had a peek;

But Mabel hasn't weathered well;

She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;

Could not have been much grimmer.

And things then went from bad to worse;

She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;

A couple minutes later;

She put her teeth back in and said

I am a dominater !!

Now if you knew our Mabel,

You'd see just why I spluttered,

I'd spent two months in traction

For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked

Bent forward just a bit

I went to hold her, sensual like

And stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;

My god what had I done!?

She moaned and groaned then shouted out:

"Step on the other one"!!

Well readers, I can't tell no more;

About what occurred that day.

Suffice to say my jet black hair,

Turned fifty shades of grey.

43 Replies

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  • Oh nikkers that's brilliant.

    I Loved it.

    Velvet xx

  • That left me laughing out loud. So funny - just my sense of humour!!!

  • Ha ha ha he he ho tee bah hee .......

  • That is wicked x

  • That's so funny sat here laughing to my self, when he stood upon her left tit, xx

  • I bet that was painful!!

  • Just like a mammogram!! LOL

  • Ouch! Made my eyes water at the thought! lol

  • ha ha brilliant

    jan x

  • Brilliant. :D x

  • Lol πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Hilarious Nikkers!

    You really outdid yourself with that one!

    Loved it 😁


  • Where did you get my early morning picture from ................ OH ............. Nickers ...........Nickers......


  • No, that's me Tom! lol.

  • In that case, we would make a perfect o``````pair

    Tom :)

  • hahaa, Been there, Got the T-SHIRT....


  • That's absolutely priceless! I'm lying in bed laughing my head off & my daughter thinks I've gone mad!! So so funny πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Lol Nikkers, that"s hilarious, loved it X

  • Brilliant as usual ta :-)

  • Just brilliant!

  • That's great!!


  • Absolutely loved it :-D

    polly xx

  • Fantastic! I laughed out loud. I'm going to send it to my 84 year old sister, she likes a good giggle too.

  • :D :D ha ha great one niky. laughed at that :)

    now to advertise for a wife like mabel :D she looks great in her picture :D

    love jimmy xxx :)

  • That drawing was based on me Jimmy! - lol. XX :0 :-D

  • well you'll do me fine niky :D :D

    [on approval, off course :D ]

    lol jimmy xxx :)

  • Of course, kind Sir! :-D xxx

  • :D :D morning niks.

    i like the way to can take a laugh as well as give us a laugh :D

    thats the best way niks. :D

    have a great day,

    love jimmy xxx :)

  • Hilararious!! Thank you Nikkers, needed cheering up today. xx

  • as a maid of 84 I know that I am unable

    to perform the the tricks required

    to keep up with your Mabel..........thanks for the laugh

  • πŸ™ˆ 😜 πŸ™Š

  • Clever!

  • Lololololo!!!!!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • I wish there was a way for me to e-mail your poem! Love it!!!

  • Just copy then paste it Mooskie. Or, PM me your email address and I'll send it to you, then you can forward it. XX

  • loved it thank you xx

  • Brilliant ! :)

  • Great stuff......thanks.

  • brilliant Nikkers what a scene it would be L.O.L did you make that up

  • I wish.......I'm not that clever Den. I think it was one of Pam Ayres originally? I had it sent to me and just passed it on because it's so funny. XX

  • Absolutely Brilliant ha ha ha (cough cough cough)

  • Love it! Many thanks for that. Just imagine when you go to the doc's and the receptionist says those immortal words..."Mr.Grey will see you now"!

    My wife is a big fan.....only of the book...I hope!

  • Who's Mr Grey...something to do with the book, I gather??

  • Nikki. I will send you the health bill for my broken ribs. I was laughing my head of for ages after reading your "Poem"



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