at the end of my tether

i am posting this as i just don't know that to do anymore. i have tried to get some help from every one i can think of from social services to c.a.d just to get past from pillar to post. all i what is to get help to be able to get out from theses 4 walls as its driving me crazy not seeing any body for weeks on end. the only help that i have managed to get is a ambulance to get me to & from hospital appointments. don't get me wrong i am grateful for that. i just feel that i can't / don't want to go on like this. i know it the wrong thing but i have started smoking again hoping it will end things quicker. ( sorry i'm just at the lowest point that i have ever been since being told that i had c.o.p.d ) i have just given up.

36 Replies

  • Please don't feel your alone, we all get really desperate at times. You don't say what you have wrong with you, and if you don't mind me asking your age.

    Kim xxx

  • i did say. i have c.o.p.d lung function of 20%

  • I'm sorry I didn't see that.

    Kim xx

  • Hi Chelsea i also have 20% lung function so i know life can be a struggle, but have you thought of getting a mobility scooter? I would'nt/could'nt go out without mine, it does get you out of your four walls and helps paint a different picture.Take care xx

  • Hi chelseaford and welcome. I can't help with any pratical advice but, I'm sure someone will be along that can. There are some very knowledgable people on here who can probably point you in the right direction.

    You sound like your at rock bottom, but, don't give up, there is bound to be something or someone that can help you feel better in yourself and help you improve your situation. xx

  • Hi Chelseaford

    You have come to the right place for help. Many people on here are at the same stage as you and do pretty well for themselves. Theres alot of inspiration on here. The knowledge is Neverending.

    Many of them live by their self also. Ask any questions you have about anything.

    Read the old posts, as you'll learn alot.

    How long have you had copd? What inhalers do you use? Anytime you feel like it, someone will be here for you. Also, like others said you can pm anyone to talk privately.

    Rubyxx 😊 😊

  • i have had c.o.p.d for at least 3 years but got much worse over the last year.

  • Chelseaford it sounds as though you are at a very low ebb. Those of us who have severe COPD do get like this sometimes. It's quite normal to feel depressed and anxious when we have a serious chronic illness.

    Please tell your doctor you are feeling depressed. There is medication available and even more importantly there are support groups to help us through these dark times we have.

    The first thing you MUST do is throw out the cigarettes. You do not want a serious exacerbation of COPD. I speak from experience. I am just now coming through the other side of an exacerbation I've had for the last three months.

    I was staged as having sever COPD

  • i am already on medication for depression & have been for many years

  • Sorry I must have hit the wrong key and my reply to you came to an abrupt end. To continue. I was staged as having severe COPD seven years ago. Most of those years have been pretty good to me. You too will have good times ahead but you need to be proactive. Seek help. Help will not arrive on your doorstep, you must actively seek it.

    Like you, I live alone and am inclined towards hermit tendencies. It's only presently with a nasty exacerbation that I have taken steps to improve my lot. Being short of breath is not conducive to doing much but you must try. Seek the help that is available to you.

    I wish you well.

  • " Hello To you chelseaford.Please if your still up and feeling lost..... lonely...... take a look at one my last posts that i wrote today ....Feeling just as your feeling now....So please take a look at is with the post regarding Success with COPD. I Posted it a day back. i'll put it back up here for you to take a look while your sitting there feeling so empty...try and relax and watch it..I promise you it will give you some comfort.. just click onto it..and you will see that there are 7 Success stories..One follows the other at the end of each one..Keep yourself positive as you can..and remember there is always someone here to talk too whatever it is ..doesn't matter..Megan."

  • Loved the videos and music.

  • "Thank you Colours..So glad you liked the video too...hope your weekend is a good and relaxing one for you also.....Megan."

  • Thanks for posting Megganell - briliant. More of this kind of thing would be good for the COPD community. Where did you find it? :)

  • "Thank you sirjames for your lovely reply... i am so happy that you found these videos helpful... i speak for myself But.... that was one the reasons i joined HU.....and the COPD Community to try to understand how this horrible disease works and how to try to help as been a massive life line to me..and it makes me so happy that you have the same views and ideas as myself.." A friend from another very good COPD community" ...COPD UK.....Sent it to me hoping it would allay some of my many fears.....Hope you have a lovely relaxing healthy weekend......Megan."

  • " Hello sirjames... i am adding another link with reference to COPD......And you showed how like me..... liked as much information regarding this horrible Disease......."Some call it Condition".So.. I am adding this link for you to take a look at.....It as a lot of things regarding COPD on the page...I really Hope! that it will be helpful to not only you but to other's who have COPD.....that need to understand how to understand this Illness....This is what i joined this Forum for......A thirst.....a hunger....To learn as much as i could about COPD...Good Luck.....Megan."

  • Thanks Meg - an American site and good the way iinformation regarding preventing exaberations is plainly laid out. Interesting that a medication mentioned, Roflumilast is not available in the UK.

    NICE recommended that roflumilast should be used only as part of a research study because at the moment there is not enough evidence about how well it works or about the best way to use it

    to recommend it for use in the NHS. James:)

  • I know exactly what u mean all the services are so under pressure at moment ,I need oxygen to get out now,I'm house bound in my 60s legs fine but out of breath,low oxygen when moving, BUT I've been told you don't fit NHS criteria,I have an inhalor and car, well that's a lot of good I can't get to my car!!!! So if we need oxygen to go out I am going to get it myself to top me up and see if I can walk ,all my muscles have disappeared ,well I call it negligence !!!! Or go private.

  • I really sympathise with you, lung conditions can be very isolating. I agree with the others please contact your GP again and tell him how you feel, as well as the BLF helpline on Monday.

    Meanwhile, do you feel that you could ring the Samaritans , just to be able to talk about your situation would help and they could offer advice.

    Take care and thinking of you

  • Hi I really feel for u if u ring your nearest breathe easy club ,if u tell them u can't get there they will sort something out for u to be picked up by someone in your area who also goes to breath easy meetings, it would be good for u you will be among people with the same illness and problems that u have, and it is quite social lots of things going on, and please if u r feeling so low talk to your doctor there is medication to help you my love to you, firework xxx

  • Hi

    Please speak to your respitory nurse as some hospitals offer a palative care day centre. I am attending 1 day a week for 12 weeks, the course is designed to offer psychological help as well as looking at any medication and physical aids I may need. Good luck

  • Hi again, have you tried contacting either the British Red Cross or the RVS to see if they offer a befriending service in your area....just someone who could sit and chat for a while or go out with you. The Red Cross volunteered to do this for my mother in Wales.

    Best wishes again and please ring the Samaritans today if you are still feeling so low.

  • Try contacting the Red Cross they do transport.

  • your not on your own, i'm glad I found this web site

    your just frustrated you can't do what you used to do

    that's the trouble being independent . if you don't mind me saying you sound a little depressed ,happens to us all life wasn't ment to be easy were all in the same boat so to speak try getting friends on facebook or something for coffee mornings maybe your doctor knows groups in your area you can join. please don't

    take offence at this post take care andy

  • But you have written as a way to step out of trouble. True?


  • Hope you are feeling a little better today. I like you live alone and know how you are feeling. The people on this site are amazing and have helped me so many times when feeling so down. Please go to your G.P. and try to tell him how you are feeling. Thinking of you. xxx

  • Hi

    In my area we have a bus service "my bus". Who would pick you up at your home and take you to anywhere within their service area. This is a really good service. You can check online if there is one in your area.

  • Oh dear Chelsea so sorry your feeling down, i think most of us do at times but it will pass. I would suggest ringing BLF for support, or/and the samaritans as others have suggested. Thinking of you xx

  • don't give up - we have all been there and it does get better (we learn to cope better) as far as loneliness is concerned have you thought of getting a pet a cat could be a good companion and give you at least some contact with another living being (and can be more loyal and rewarding than people) - just a thought take care xxxx

  • Chelsea it is so tough when you are ill and on your own , many of us understand that ,so the first thing to deal with is not being on your own ! Can I suggest you find your nearest Breathe Easy support group and contact them , Someone will be able to give you a lift to the meeting, there you can learn so much about how to deal with the situation you are in , talking to people is much better than a phone ! you will also learn about things you can do to help yourself , no matter how poorly you are with COPD there are things you can do yourself to help with the bad times . The feeling of taking control of your illness instead of letting it control you is really a great place to be. I hope you will find this a helpful and more positive way to go forward and make the decision to pick up the phone to your nearest group, I am sure you will be glad you did.

    sending a warm wish to get you on the road back .

  • It's me yet again.............just another thought.....have you considered contacting someone from a church, chapel or another religious organisation. Our local church has a weekly coffee morning, or maybe someone could visit you at home.

    I'll leave you in peace now! Take care

  • Yes, my church has a Soup and a Smile drop in every Thursday, and our neighbouring church runs a lunch drop in on a Friday, here in Crewe. You don't have to be a regular church goer to attend either, and you get to meet some really nice people. I'm sure there'll be something similar at a church near you.

  • I understand why you feel the way you do talk to your Doctor to send you on a PR course they are held at the hospitals you will get help to manage your condition and meet people who are in the same boat.

    You will always get some help hear you will never be alone

  • thank you all i will try your recommendation

  • Chelsea speak with your doctor. It could be that your medication for depression needs updating or changing.

    People have made some good suggestions for you to help ease your loneliness. I hopE you will carry through and make contact with your Breath Easy group. I'm in Australia and we don't have that group here, unfortunately.

    Please take care and throw out those ciggies. No good can come of smoking, particularly for those of us with severe COPD.

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