Well tomorrows the day

Hi there everyone I don't think I will have time to speak with you tomorrow morning as I have to be up at the hospital ready for 0830, Kate will drive me up, make sure I get to the right place and once she is sure I have every thing will go on to her office as it just happens she works there, so I know I will get a visitor as soon as I come around after the op, I should only be in hospital a couple of days the same as the last time and then just a bit of R&R then that's me sorted till the next time. I was trying to think of a joke that fits the occasion and all I can come up with is this one.

An old sailor is taken really poorly and is rushed to hospital and whilst on the operating table has a near death experience. He see God and asks is this it. God say's "No you got at least another 10 to 15 years yet to live."

When the old sailor recovers he decides to stay in hospital and have the full works a face lift, tummy tuck and a hair transplant, as seeing he has so long left he just as well make the most of it.

After he has had the works he said good bye to the nurses and walks out of the hospital and straight in front of an ambulance killing him out right.

Arriving before God again he said "I thought you told me I had another 10 to 15 years left."

To which God replied.......

SORRY TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH I DIDN'T RECOGNISE YOU !"

Have a good day speak later and stay safe and don't forget keep smiling. :) ;) xxx Fred

58 Replies

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  • Morning Fred, that's so funny - and probably could be very true!๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹. I will be thinking of you tomorrow - will miss your daily joke ๐Ÿ˜ข Hope all goes well, and just behave yourself with the nurses - if that's possible lol๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ I'll look forward to seeing you back here before too long. Jan xx

  • Cheers Jan will do but I do like to tease the nurses in the best possible way :) You stay safe and speak in a few days I hope, I am running out of jokes will have to re think. Bye for now :) xxx Fred

  • Early morning to you Fred. Thanks for the smile on this overcast morning. Will be thinking of you as I wake tomorrow. Good luck and take care. I am sure you will think of a funny story to tell the surgeon and anaesthetist before you get second nap.

    Love Dozy โ˜บ ๐Ÿ€ xx

  • Thanks for that Dozy I don't think for one minute you are that lovely little Dormouse more a lovely caring person, thanks again and keep smiling. :) :) xxx Love Fred

  • Loved the joke Fred. Best wishes and good luck for tomorrow. Will be thinking of you. I will miss you. Take real good care of yourself.

    Love Suzy (W)xxxx

  • Cheers Suzy(W) I hope it will be only for a couple of days, the plan is they will go in and blast the left lung for me, then a short rest, tease the nurses ask for a bed bath and get told no way, get in that shower Fred, but then they refuse to scrub my back, what is this health service coming to. You stay like you are positive and we will speak soon. :) ;) xxx Love Fred

  • Lol...lol...that's a good one.

    All the very best for tomorrow Fred...it will soon be over...I'm sure you'll be very well looked after.

    Sun's trying to come out here this morning. :-) xxx

  • Hi there Lyn please you have the sun, as we have the wet stuff at the moment, I was expecting your reply to include there is always the evening which is what you put last time, hard to believe that was back in May I went in last. Enjoy your day out and I am sure the little fluffs will be fine with their mum. Keep smiling and look after yourself. :) ;) xxx Fred

  • Morning Fred,your still the same old Fred, telling his jokes,but it always brings a smile to people. Im wishing you all the best for tomorrow Fred, in a few days time you will be running around like a two year old. Will be thinking of you Neo.

  • Thanks pal for the wishes, would like to think I will be running around like a two year old more like a 2 month old on all fours :) Cheers Neo :)

  • Morning Fred,

    Good joke again, lol. All the best for tomorrow and a speedy recovery, lots of rest, taking it easy and plenty of time to think of more jokes. ha ha I bet the nurses are looking forward to seeing you again.

    I had a trip to the mainland yesterday for an appointment but got delayed when the ferry hit the pier when berthing due to the heavy swell and wind, but the ferry wasn't damaged thank goodness!

    Take care and hope you are back with us soon.

    hugs from Huggs xxx :)

  • Huggs I will miss those whilst I am away so I have put a few in my bag for later. Unsure whether the nurses will be pleased they might be saying "Oh no not him again already" I can believe it was a bit of a worry when the ferry hit the pier, as with a good swell it can toss the ship around a bit, please no damage and you were safe. Take care speak in a few days or so. Thanks for the hugs :) :) xxxFred

  • HI Fred,

    good joke. wishing you all the best for tomorrow. Have a good rest afterwards, the sun will be waiting for you. Love Iris x

  • Thanks for that Iris will behave myself or will try anyway :) xx Fred

  • Morning Fred, Wishing you all the very best for tomorrow, I will be thinking about you. Take good care of yourself and looking forward to seeing you back on here. Lots and lots of love TAD xxx

  • Thanks TAD for the wishes speak very soon I hope. :) xxx Fred

  • Morning Fred

    I hope it all goes well tomorrow.

    Leave those nurses alone.

    I am wondering how we will cope without you but your cheery nature is contagious so hope your impact will last until your safe return

    Lots of love old sailor.

  • Thanks kracker spoil sport I will try to behave, look after yourself and daughter speak soon. Love from your old mariner mate xxx :)

  • Good day Fred

    Loved the joke! Lol......

    Good luck to you and behave yourself.

    Yeah right! you say to yourself.! You take care Fred. My thoughts will be with you.

    You should run that joke you told today by them.

    Love RUBYXX ๐Ÿ˜Š ๐Ÿ˜Š

  • Hello Ruby will behave maybe, are you baring up alright now, I will be back soon, I am having trouble with the jokes running out fast. Love Fred :) xxx

  • Good morning Fred, great joke this morning :-D

    I will be thinking about you tomorrow, bet those nurses love you and your cheery nature on their ward. Hope all goes well just lie back and relax.

    Look forward to your return.

    Take care

    polly xx

  • Hi polly will try and be a good boy in the ward but who can tell, keep smiling will be back soon. Love Fred :) xxx

  • Good luck for tomorrow sweetheart.

    cx

  • Your a love thank you speak soon. :) xx Fred

  • All the best for tomorrow Fred,we will be thinking of you,just be good๐Ÿ˜€

  • Thanks Glenice look forward to returning to the fold soon xxx :) Fred

  • " Fred!..Good Luck for tomorrow from friend... I Will be thinking of you.....Sending you love and loads kissess ...So Keep as Positive Fred....As Positive as you always keep Us all in Here ...in HU.....xx.Megan."

  • Megan thought for a moment I was not going to hear from you, now I know you are alright I can pack ready to go. I will take some of those kisses with me in case the nurse I get is an ex sumo wrestler which will just be my luck. Look after yourself till that someone special comes back to look after you.

    Love Fred :) :) xxx

  • Morning Fred. Good luck for tomorrow. Your daily posts will be missed but I've no doubt that you'll raise the spirits of the nurses and patients at the hospital. x

  • Thanks Travel_Bug for your wishes, with some of these user names I have to guess what sex you are I am guessing you are a lady so I will finish with :) :) xxx Fred

  • Got it in one Fred. I'm a lady who love's to travel whilst she still can.

    Sue xx

  • Thanks for that Sue now I know who I am talking with, well to a certain level any way. I don't blame you, do it all now, been to any really memorable places ? xx :) Fred

  • Australia is up there along with the best memory of going round Ayers Rock on the back of the Harley Davison! Decided to become a bit of a wild one in my old age! :)

    However, I'm biased towards OZ because it's where my son lives now and so we can take a long holiday there thanks to the free accommodation and also give ourselves plenty of time to recovery from the journey.

    Sue xx

  • Nice choice and a really good reason for the choice.

    :) xx Fred

  • Hi Fred, funny joke, poor chap. I have done my dog walking today, sat quitely feeling shattered. The very best of luck with your hospital stay tomorrow, i am sure you will be cheering the nurses up, if not us. Come home all mended Fred. Take care, love Margaret x

  • Thanks Margaret don't go mad with all this walking, steady lady nice and slow no running just yet. :) :) Fred xxx

  • All the very best for your op tomorrow Fred. I'm sure you are a great favourite there. Take it easy when you get home and don't overdo it.

    Sara x

  • Your all so kind Sara how can it go other than well with you all behind me, I will try to behave myself. :) xxx Fred

  • Ah Fred that joke is so funny.

    Fred I wish you the best of luck with hospital, you will be in my

    Prayers. So we will all be thinking of you.

    Healing hugs

    Hannah x

  • Keep the hugs coming Hannah lol hopefully home in a couple of days, by then the nurses will have had enough of me. Speak soon :) xx Fred

  • Good luck for tomorrow Fred x

  • Thanks Jan, back after a short intermission I hope. : xxx

  • Great joke Fred and you keep those nurses smiling, will be thinking of you. Take care, and hurry back you will be missed! xx

  • Like wise I will miss all my new HU pen friends, but will be back before long.

    ;) :) xxx

  • Love the joke. Good luck for tomorrow, will be thinking of you. Do the nurses know what they are in for? Keep them smiling. Take care xx

  • Lyn this is my third visit to the same ward the last time being only 6 weeks ago so I expect the all the nurses took holidays when they heard I am on my way back, as I do tend to tease them but I am sure they don't mind. Speak later Fred xxx :)

  • Are you going to entertain everybody on the ward by singing " Oh What a Beautiful Morning " when you wake up.

    Best wishes for tomorrow, and thank you for keeping our spirits up every morning here.

  • I am only able to do that because you are such lovely people and together we are able to remain positive no matter what is thrown at us, and thanks for the wishes . :) :) xx

  • Fred, you are a lovely funny man - all the best for tomorrow xx

  • Thank you Miss Dior good to speak with you, hope to be back soon. xxx :)

  • Hi Fred, sorry it's late, just letting u know I'll be thinking of u tomoz, all the best, take care xx Sonia xx

  • Dear Fred thinking of you and wishing you well, be a good patient and hoping you feel smiley again real soon, lynda xx

  • Wishing you all the best :-)

  • Morning Fred, Great joke, What luck that your Kate works at the hospital, I know you have had the procedure before,so you know what to expect, Do hope it all goes well, and that you will not be too uncomfortable. Lots of TLC to you Fred, Very best wishes, Bulpit

  • Oh Fred Im so pleased i saw your post - I've been keeping a low profile - so that i can wish you all the best today. Sending you warmest wishes and big love, and i know you'll come round with your lovely humour intact xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx from jean

  • Good luck will be thinking of you x

  • good luck tomorrow and thank you xx

  • All very best wishes for your op Fred - bet you're smiling as soon as you come around - and leave those nurses alone!! Look forward to hearing your news when you're well enough xx

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