Log in
British Lung Foundation
39,069 members45,922 posts

Well that looks like it that.

Well that seems to be the end of the election for another five years so back to life as before. Right its raining again I thought maybe the sun would be here like yesterday which was so good to see I even did a bit of path clearing down at Kate's without a coat on, but there is no chance of that sort of thing today, but seeing the news other parts are going to have the rain very soooooooooon. lol :)

Anyway one day three blokes were out walking and came upon a raging violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but did not know how.

The first bloke prayed to God saying "Please God give me the strength to cross the river."

Poof ! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across the river in two hours.

Seeing this the second bloke prayed to God saying "Please God give me the strength and ability to cross the river."

Poof! God gave him a rowing boat and he was able to cross the river in an hour.

The third man saw how this worked out for the other two , so he prayed to God "Please give me the strength, ability and courage to cross the river."

And poof! God turned him into a woman and he walked across the bridge.

Have a good day and I hope you achieve all you set out to do today :) ;) xxx

39 Replies
oldestnewest

Ha Ha Fred love it. Weather here dry but cloudy, think rain is coming soon. Have a good weekend.

Copied to my Family Group. They love your jokes.

Love Suzyxxx

Reply

Hi there you forgot your (W) but I still know its you, also you really sound like you are still strong or even stronger its surprising what this bloody (sorry some might think I swore there) cancer can do to us namely making us strong people. Love as before + hugs :) xxx Fred

Reply

Hi Fred and Suzy,

Groan, groan. yes the election is over.

Another great joke Fred, and thanks for that. Still cold and wet here, but it is suppose to get brighter later on.

Hi Suzy, great to see you posting and sounding full of beans, and as Fred said, so positive. The two of you sound so cheery and bright so we can all take a lesson from you two. Laughing is a great medicine for us all I think, so keep the jokes coming.

I hope the two of you have a lovely weekend.

hugs from Huggs xxxx

1 like
Reply

Huggs thanks for that but speaking for me it helps to be positive and having all you lovely people and I mean all really does help the day to day working of the brain, as they say there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I have removed the switch so it can not be turned off. Have a good day hugs on its way :) xxx

Reply

Great attitude Fred, and it helps us all to have the same outlook. Great idea to remove the light switch. :)

take care,

hugs from Huggs xxxx :)

Reply

Good joke Fred, made me laugh this morning. It is sunny and not too cold here at the moment. I am up early, the gas man supposed to be coming to service the boiler between 8 and 1, what's the betting its 1. Hope there is not too much rain.

polly xx

Reply

Polly don't you just hate it when they give you that time period, its almost a certain it will be the latter end, or else you think they will not be here for ages so there is no rush to get sorted and dressed and then Ding Dong the bell goes. Hark is that someone at your door Polly. :) xx

Reply

Yes!!! he is here already thank goodness, don't you just hate waiting for people.

We can chill the rest of the morning.

polly xx

Reply

As if by magic xxx :)

Reply

Hi Fred, giggling at this. Did not watch the election all nighter as planned, starting to doze of about 1.00, so went to bed. I must pay tribute to David Dimbleby, he is about my age but he doesn't appear in the least phased. I am still shattered this morning. Have a good day. Love Margaret x

Reply

To me its not a big surprise really but it depends on your views, not that I get to involved in it really. Enjoy your day Margaret ;) xxx

Reply

Morning Fred loved the joke! Now do i put the heating on.....Have a great day. xx

Reply

I will say yes as I put the heating on when I first got up to take the chill away go for it. Keep smiling :) xxx

Reply

Will do Fred as soon as my cleaner goes, the poor girl is sweating! xx

Reply

Great joke Fred. The chuckle kicked-started my lungs and I got my cup of tea made instead of having to wait for it. Hooray!

Your path clearing has made me want to rest so I'm off to my summer house to read the papers and chill in the sunshine. Don't work too hard Fred. Have a love day.

Sara xx

Reply

Thanks Sara I also know I cleared the path aching like a right one, no more exercise till after I have been zapped. Pleased to say the rain has stopped for a while. Enjoy your cuppa maybe you will be brought a top up. xxx :)

Reply

Another great joke Fred! You keep it up and us women will be running everything. Can you handle that? How about you Fred, you ever see a ghost?

I had a post up about ghosts. I saw one,

and am still freaked out about it! Scarey stuff!

Love RUBYXX 😊

Reply

No I missed that post will search it out, not aware I have seen one but have had that cold shudder as if someone or something has passed right through me. Off to check it out :) xxx

Reply

Hi Fred thanks for your joke, and your so right about staying

Positive, it really helps, and 8 try and just take things as they come.

Taken are Fred and be kind to yourself.

Hannah 🐥

Reply

Hi there Hannah keep smiling and stay safe. xx :)

Reply

Morning Fred, front page of the mirror quite comical ! Well removal men here, cats in the transporter, got cat Valium for the cat, thnk I might take them myself! XXXX great joke 😊

Reply

Safe trip, it will all go well easy on the Valium and keep that smile going, make the beds first and thats right after you sorted the cats out. lol :) xxx

1 like
Reply

Very funny Fred and sooooo true! Hope you are doing well today and don't get soaked. Not too bad here but rain threatening. I have turned t.v. off as cannot hear anymore about the election results.

Having a quiet day today as off to the I.O.W. on Monday till Friday so need to get organised for that. Packing for Pete is like packing for a child, have to take everything but the kitchen sink.

Have a lovely day and take care. Keep smiling xxxx :)

Reply

Hello Carole hope every thing goes well for you both on your trip to the IOW, yes election over and done with other than the wash up. I surprised at some of the results but not upset with it, but that's me. Might speak before you go as I am off line for a couple of days from Tuesday night while I go on my holiday to hospital. Stay smiling no matter what. :) xxxx

Reply

Definitely wishing you well for your hospital stay Fred. I will be thinking of you. You take care and keep smiling too. Lots of love to you. Carole xxxx :)

Reply

Cheers Carole :) xxx

Reply

Hellooooo fred. Tipping down here after a dry start :-( What have you done to our sunshine?

I watched the election.....hmmmm....!!!!!

:-) xxx

Reply

Afternoon Lyn it keeps raining here as well , I also watched some then watched more from around six so was a bit later on line than normal, hope you had a good day. :) xxx

Reply

you may think the election is over but on facebook they are all complaining. some saying the people who voted for the conservatives wasted their votes. just when are people going to get a life, So Cameron got back in so what live with it.

Reply

Smile please your on candid facebook :)

1 like
Reply

No u are!

Reply

See my reply below :)

Reply

Well it is a bit sad that cooperate banks will take over so what's new.?!!😈😹😡😷 when the real people get ripped off and bullied by negative power.

Reply

yes him getting back in will affect a lot of people me included, there are able people out there that have never worked a day in there lives, and have no intension of working while the state keeps giving, we live on a small island how many people do you think this country can hold before it sinks. the human rights act should be changed and for the better, so people in prison and people like the hook keep spouting about there human rights that cost the country billions. whether people live in housing Association houses or council houses they will need a place to live sold or not sold they will never be empty to move someone else in them unless the person passes away. by the way I bought my council house in 1986 sold last year so I could move out of London for my health. I would prefer the Blues rather than the red and yellow because that's what you would of had instead, you can change what will happen will happen.

Reply

Hi Fred.

Just wanted to say that I love your daily comments and if I had 3 wishes one of them would be that if the world could have just 5% of your cheeriness and optimism it would be a much better place.

Thanks for bringing a smile to my face :)

Reply

Thanks Travel Bug your very kind but it works both ways :) ;)

Reply

I'm in trouble again,whoops . Yes please we need lots more cheerful people like you around ,so many don't live by the sun,n feel the warmth.x

Reply

Colours you in trouble, never happen, I believe if you got something to say, say it as long as you are prepared for a reply, and my reply is KEEP SMILING. :) xxx

Reply

YES I agree ...I believe what you give you get back . I try always to tell the truth if you don't you have a mean mind. That's what I've learnt, it is challenging. But true to yourself. So of course I will get challenged . Positive over negative .. It is a fight for human rights which seems to be abolished in this country.

Reply

You may also like...