being put on a ventilator

my dear lovely wife diane is to be put on a ventilator i'am lead to beleive today at the royal brompton, it seems to be her only chance left, please please could i ask if any one here has had this done, as the doctors seem so clincal in their approch, am an emotional wreck at the moment, coming home to an empty house every night is very hard, any advise , help i would be very gratful, tom.

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30 Replies

  • I am so sorry to hear this Tom- was really really hoping for a positive update! There are a few members on here who have been critically ill on a ventilator and have pulled through- so never give up hope. I cannot give you any advice other than to say make sure you talk to her "all the time" as much as you can and I will keep you and Diane in my thoughts and prayers. Lots of hugsxxx

  • Oh my goodness how awful for you both, trust in the medical staff they will do all they can for your wife i'm sure. Will be thinking of you both keep your chin up and pray it is out of your hands now,sending you both positive thoughts and much love for a good outcome. xx

  • all depends why she is on it? and why she cant breath with out it hopefully its a temporary situation maybe just until she is stable? Maybe she will need a track with isn't as bad as many think many people come home with tracks and lead a normal life wish I could give more answers but impossible with out knowing why she was put on the vent PRAYERS and hoping for the best outcome 4 u and her

  • So sooty to hear Dianne is so poorly.I can't really answer your question,my best advice would be to talk to the nursing staff,whom are looking after her,I'm sure they would be happy to answer any questions.

    My heart,& prayers go out to you both,do let us know how Dianne goes please,

    With much love & gentle hugs to you both,

    Wen xxxx

  • meant to be sorry,predictive txt!

  • Sorry to hear that tom but as huggs says quite a few have been on it and pulled through maybe its just to give her a helping hand for a couple of days I don't really but someone will come on and give a better opinion but thinking of you both and everything gets better for her

  • Hi, I spent a week on a ventilator many years ago. Kind thoughts to both you and your wife.

  • HI Tom

    I will be thinking of you both today .

    wishing you and your wife all the very best .

    coming home to an empty house is tuff but try to keep your chin up my friend.

    Love and light


  • Take care of your health Tom , your wife is in the best hands. It is a sad time for you no one likes to see their loved one suffering and I am truly sorry your wife is so ill. Will be thinking of you both at this difficult time, sorry we cannot ease your emotional strain. Every best wish to you both xx

  • This is such a difficult time for you and no wonder you are a wreck. My heart goes out to you both, but please don't give up hope at all. As others have said, she is in the best place, so try and make sure you talk to one of the nurses involved in her care who is very specialised and she or he can refer you to one of the doctors. Take heart from the fact that there are a number of people who have been on a ventilator on this forum and are sure to get in touch with you. Thoughts and prayers are with you both.

    hugs from Huggs xxx

  • Hello Tom, I'm sorry that your wife is unwell. May I suggest you write down all your questions about your wife's condition and ask the nurse. They are v knowledgable and tend to be better communicators. There is so much to ventilation it's hard for me to comment but I'd like to reassure you that while she is obviously critically ill I criteria of being put on (invasive)ventilation is that theres a good chance of getting off it. I hope that helps. All the best.

  • Please,please don't give up . My husband was put on a ventilator after a biopsy to try & determine his lung condition went horribly wrong . After he had been on it for about thirty six hours I was told that he was not expected to live . I can't remember how long he was on it ( it was such a traumatic time) but I think it was about two weeks, but he came through it & three & a half years later he is doing well . He even still does the occasional day at work (Health & Safety Training) & he is seventy three . My prayers are with you - I know what you are going through & it's worse for the person watching & praying - my husband has no memory of any of it . I do hope you have the outcome we did .xx

  • hello helen, just so gratful for your reply, many a time i have had the doctors talk to me, but at that time a lot of it goes in one ear & out the other, with the medcal jargon, from what you told me regarding the length of time your husband had it in,diane only had hers in for 3 days, so am wondering did the doctors jump the gun so to speak, again thank you, tom xx

  • Good morning Tom. I was really sorry to hear you are both having such a tough time. I can't add anything to what has been said but just want to say you are both in my thoughts and prayers. Gentle hugs were all with you. Nan

  • Has your wife had her inr checked? For blood clots. Whilst in hospital people have 200% higher rate of developing blood clots ask if she had heperin also known as clexin. I'm on auto ventilation but for sleepapnea. On a ventilator there helping her breath and keeping her airways open whilst she sleeps.

  • Tom I Am so sorry to hear your news. You have had lots of good advise. Sending you lots and lots of love and wishing your wife the very best. Lots of love TAD xx

  • I have twice its not very nice for you to see but will give her lungs a rest it's not horrible for her, I was put in an induced coma but was awake after a few days, I to am under the royal Brompton they are the best, it's very hard for our partners to see us like this but she really is in the best hands lots of love x

  • As a long standing customer of the Royal Brompton I believe that your wife is in the safest place in Europe if not the world. Their dealing with relatives are usually helpful but your wife's best interests will be their main concern. Have faith and hope. I know the feeling of hopelessness when a loved one is in someone else's care but concentrate on preparing for her homecoming and be assured that she will be cared for.

  • Hi, I was put on a ventilator a couple of years ago after a prolonged attack that was non responsive to any kind of medication. My C02 levels shot up and in the end their was no other choice but to be ventilated, I believe it to be an awful lot worse for those that are having to carry on as personally I don't really remember anything from being put under to waking up.

    I was only under for around 24 hrs but judging by the doctors response I shouldn't have woken up at all, I was introduced to hoards of different doctors as the miracle recovery.

    I know the doctors are brief at best but it does work, just try and keep things running, keep the house clean etc because after a couple of week stint in hospital the last thing you need when your body is weak from not moving and your mind is scrambled is to come home to a to do list.

    I wish you and your wife all the best

  • As I said in my earlier post it is almost worse for others there at the time - my cousin & I spent hours with Mike, watching him & watching & listening to the monitors .It really is horrible but the staff were amazing both in their care of Mike & me . Good to hear that you also made a good recovery .

  • I am sorry to hear your news, but I have to say reading through the post sounds like your wife is in one of the best hospitals in the country. I found when my mum was in I used to go to the nurses station and ask if I could see someone, go with a list of questions of what your unsure of. Also the auxiliary staff are a great source of information, when my dad was in hospital they were a great help

    Thoughts with you x

  • All I can do is offer my prayers for you both. I hope all will be well.

  • I understand that you must be going though a living hell at the moment . I was in ICU for 32 days and a lot of the time I was on a ventilator. 12 of those days I was on an oscillator. It is the best way of getting oxygen into the lungs. If you are awake then you are unable to speak but it can be got around with a spell board,whispers and a lot of pointing. I also had 2 chest drains and a mass of other tubes and wires. Which from your point of view is very daunting, they are there for a good reason.

    It affected my wife and family but even if they put her in an induced coma speak or play music every time you are there. My hospital had a bedside diary and took a photo of me all wired up. It helped me understand what they were looking at.

    I wish you all the very best and a quick recovery. I am happy to answer any questions you have if I can please PM me if you want to.

    might help?

    Be Well

  • A very difficult time for you, my Mum pulled through after it happened to her, I spent a lot of hours in the hospital rather than go home, I'm so sorry you are going through this, sending love and positive thoughts and prayers for you both, hugs huff xxxx

  • thinking of you and wishing you both well, lynda x

  • Hi Tom, first of all I am so sorry for the position you and your family are in, I'm praying for you all. I have seen so, so many of pt's that have been struggling with their lungs due to a lot of different things, but more importantly most of them needed a break. The vent will do that and also bring other things back to the levels that will allow her to breathe easier. Also if there are secretions they too can be suctioned and a sample will be sent to the lab so she can be treated with the right antibiotics and also to help her breathe. She is given drugs that are a paralytic and they also provide the pt. with no memory of what they just went through.

    Now I am going to try and get you to know that you need to take care of yourself. Just the stress of her right now puts a lot on your shoulders, so all the time you spend going to and from the hospital can add stress in its self. So if you have anyone that can help you out you should ask. She going to need a healthy you when she gets home. Take care, I sending prayers across the pond, Nadine

  • Lots of hope and love to you both and healing vibes to your dear wife Diane.

    With love cx

  • Tom both you and your wife are in my thaughts and prayers.Nadine and all who said it are right.You must take care of yourself.Eat and try to get some sleep it is vital that you do that.You will have to be strong for both of you.My husband was in hospital 4years ago on a ventilator,and I nearly lost my voice talking to him.He didnt remember anything and his health is re a lly good now.I hated going home to an empty house but hopefully not for to much longer.PLEASE let us know how you are both getting all very gentle hugs. magsxx

  • Good tips before

    All courage dear Tom I too

    am praying for you and wife. Certainy do not despair

    this could be what her lungs need to restore.

    Hopeup from Hopeup !

  • So sorry to hear about your wife,tigerhouse,i have never posted on here before,but when I read your post I felt like I had to.i was on a ventilator for two weeks ,doctors told my daughters that there was not a lot of hope for me.that was four years only advice is to try and keep your chin up,talk to your wife as much as you can,because the patient can hear,I recalled many things my daughters had been talking to me about..much love for a good outcome.x

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