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What was read out at EightyPlus's funeral.

Shar54 profile image
30 Replies

Rip dad xx love you forever xx

This was the story of my dad's life read out on the day of his funeral.

Allan Lawrence

Allan was born in Cardiff on 16th September 1932 but never knew his birth parents. He was adopted by a couple who were actually old enough to be his grandparents and also had older siblings. He lived his young life in a big house in Roath Park, a well to do area in Cardiff. He went to school locally and was very proud of the fact that his teacher was Viscount Tonypandy, a man who was going to shape his future. With his parents being elderly he lost his father when he was 14 and was left to look after his mother. After leaving school, Allan worked in a bakery, and not really coping, had to put his mother into an old peoples home.

Like a lot of other young men in Cardiff, with it being a sea port, and through the advice of Lord Tonypandy who actually found him a ship, he joined the merchant navy. He joined the crew of the 'Arthur Stove' a cargo ship out of Norway, eventually becoming the ships cook and for the next 10 years he travelled the world, visiting up to 54 countries. This part of his life always held fond memories for him and like a lot of ex sailors, he longed for the sea.

Whilst on leave and visiting one of his relatives, who now lived in the Trowbridge area, he met his wife and life partner 'Judy'. They met in the White Heart pub, where Judy was selling the 'War Cry' for the Salvation Army. He decided not to return to sea and worked locally for a couple of years, getting married and having their first daughter 'Sharon' and son 'Ivan'.

They decided Allan join the army and he enlisted in the Duke of Edinburgh, Wiltshire Regiment. It wasn't long before his culinary skills were noticed and he transferred to the catering corps. They were posted as a family to Malta, where their second daughter 'Sandra' and the twins 'Mandy' and 'Angela' were born. Allan also served in Libya and Cypress before the family were posted to Germany. It was whist he was head chef in the officers mess that daughter number 5 'Thea' came along before he was invalided out of the army with stomach problems.

They decided to stay in Germany and Allan worked as a civilian in the sergeants mess and during this time last daughter 'Lydia' was born. He then became landlord of the 'North Star' public house in Sennelager where they lived for 7 years before retiring to Trowbridge.

In his sixties it was found that Allan had a shadow on his lungs and although he stopped smoking his life expectancy wasn't too good. In his early seventies Allan was diagnosed with lung cancer and he had a course of radio therapy that affected his lungs further. His cancer remained dormant but he was later diagnosed with COPD and Emphysema and although he had to be on oxygen he still got out on his mobility scooter. Eventually though,he had to give this up on orders from 'Judy' because he thought he was on a motorbike and wouldn't slow down.

Allan's fight to stay with us was so strong because of the love he felt for his wife, who he was devoted to, his children, his grandchildren and great grandchildren. He knew he wasn't going to be here for much longer to look out for 'Judy 'so was happy she found a friend in 'Maureen' their neighbour.

In Allan's last few years he rarely got out of the house and he spent a lot of time writing on Internet forums. He used a lot of his experience and his exceptional will to live, to help and encourage others with similar illnesses. He was a very liked member of the 'British Lung Foundation' forum, posting jokes and stories and interacting with the other members.

Last week, they were informed of Allan's passing and there were over fifty replies of sadness and condolence .

I'd like to finish with Allan's last post on this forum, which he wrote only a month ago. It demonstrates how much he valued whatever he could get from his life.

He entitled it "The Colour Green" and it reads as follows:

"Awakening to a grey old day doesn’t necessarily mean a grey mood, not for me anyway, however I do tend to hug the window overlooking my rather unruly garden and study the antics of the bird life feeding out there.

It’s not exactly a small garden but one that rises rather steeply to the road above. At one time several silver birch trees huddled together until they became too unsafe and were cut down to within inches of the ground.

Skirting the stumps are various bushes with assorted ground cover carpeting any spare soil it can find a footing.

Drab? Not at all. It is a lesson in beauty just comparing the various shades of green and the excitement of waiting to see those first buds burst open making the spring so much more special, each one an added bonus to the previous ones.

Today I will enjoy the colour green and when the sun edges closer towards my little garden I will prepare myself for the fiery reds and heated orange of early summer, followed by the hues of those sneaky little plants that appear from nowhere and where you least expect them.

Life is beautiful and valued by us that are unwell and I for one will squeeze every drop of love and warmth from a world that is in constant turmoil.

Never a fan of the ‘Beatles’ I must agree however that, ‘All we need is love.’ Something that we will never be able to get enough of.

Allan."

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Shar54
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30 Replies
scorpiolass profile image
scorpiolass

Hello, i am guesing you are Sharon. Thank you for sharing your dad',s life with us, he so enjoyed life, his pleasure in the world about him comes through in his posts. He is missed but youhave great memories. Once again, thankyou for sharing. Love Margaret x

Thank you very much for posting that Shar, it was lovely and very kind of you. I never knew your dad had such a varied and interesting life and you must be very proud of him. He was much valued and liked on here and brought us much needed cheer. Even when he was very ill he still put his jokes on to make us laugh. God bless him and you too my love. xx

Mavary profile image
Mavary

That was wonderful Shar. He was a very much loved and respected man on here. X

I never realised Alan had so many children. What an interesting and varied life he had and I'm sure you were all a great comfort and support to him.

newlands profile image
newlands

Thank you for sharing this

Take care

Dorothy

hufferpuffer profile image
hufferpuffer

Hello Sharon, thank you for sharing with us, I think that was a lovely tribute to your lovely Dad, what an interesting life he had. I hope you and the Family are bearing up its so hard to have to say goodbye. Take care, hugs huff xxx

butter-fly profile image
butter-fly

A beautiful eulogy for a good man. He will be missed by all of us. He will live long in your hearts.

Sara x

Suzy6 profile image
Suzy6

Such a lovely lovely man. Sitting tears flowing, thank you. Suzy xxx

knitter profile image
knitter

Thank you for finding the time to share your fathers eulogy and final post with us. I remember his comment "all you need is love".

I was born in Cardiff too ...Roath Park is a lovely area.

Thinking of you and all the rest of his family...his memory will live on in your hearts

Pietba profile image
Pietba

We came to this world with nothing but we will leave with only one thing - The gratitude of the ones we helped and influenced for the better.

Thank you Allan

Such a wonderful tribute - your father truly was an inspirational man. You and your whole family must be so proud of him.

Thank you SO much for sharing this with us. Jan

Jolyn profile image
Jolyn

A wonderful tribute to a lovely man, thank you for sharing this with us. :-) xxx

Thankyou for being kind enough to let us have the privilege of sharing this. xx

Lyd12 profile image
Lyd12

thank you for posting Allan's life story. He had a wonderful full life and was blessed with a lovely wife and family. As our lives become more restricted with illness and age, we are compensated with birds and nature. wishing you and your family well.

Love Iris x

Bronch1noGO profile image
Bronch1noGO

Thank you for sharing this a lovely man and a fellow Cardiffian.

Towse1950 profile image
Towse1950

A beautiful story and life thank you for sharing....Audrey Jersey. X

Thank you so much for your post. It was so interesting reading about a life we did not know about. What a full life your Dad led. What a positive man, his posts were always inspiring. Take good care, with much love TAD xx

Thank you for sharing, it sums up what an amazing man he was, you must feel very blessed to have him as your Father. With love Sheila

katieoxo60 profile image
katieoxo60

Thank you for sharing your dads life with us hope it has helped you through this sad time also Sharon. Always in our thoughts x

cofdrop-UK profile image
cofdrop-UK

Thank you so much for sharing your dear Dad's eulogy with us. What an interesting life and it comes across what a wonderful, loving family man he was, We miss him here. Stay strong Shar.

love cx

jimmyw123 profile image
jimmyw123

i carefully read this eulogy, with tears streaming from my eyes. i'm not proud of this , as i know Alan [eightyplus] would not have wanted this.

He was such a most positive man with a great insight into life itself, a lovely man ,with a great and varied life, who, despite his illness, regularly put a big smile on our faces, with his jokes and great sense of humour. i for one will miss him sadly, but Alan has left us not tears, but a great big inspiration for us all to think on,

"all you need is love "

R.I.P Alan , you will be remembered very fondly.

Many thanks Sharon for putting his ealogy in the forum he so loved, god bless you my love.

jimmy xxx

casper99 profile image
casper99

Thank you Sharon, for sharing this with us. Your Dad was one of those rare people, who made us realise that whatever is getting us down, life, really is beautiful, if we only took the time to see it. It put things in perspective. Being able to derive pleasure for the simple things in life is a gift, that very few have. My Dad had it too and the joy those little things brought him, made everyone around him happy too. We were very blessed to have them. xx

Hello, what an inspiring post Shar. I am reminded of a line I heard on a television comedy show many years ago when a young man said his father had lived each day as though it was Friday night. I hope that when my turn comes people may say the same, thanks for sharing, love to you all , David

onamission profile image
onamission

Thank you for posting this it is very sad when one of our family from this forum pass away but nice to know a little more about his life

jackdup profile image
jackdup

Thank you for sharing that with us. RIP

Hi shar, it was a pleasure to know ur dad through this forum, and reading what u have written he had a wonderful life, he loved and was well loved, and will be lovingly remembered by us all.

U take care x sonia xx

bulpit profile image
bulpit

Good morning Sharon, What a tribute to your darling Dad, you must be so very proud of him, His adopted parents raised a wonderful well balanced man, what a life he had,so many memories,Thanks for sharing it all with us, Very best wishes,Bulpit

moyzi profile image
moyzi

New to sight didn't know your dad but I do now, what a Lovley man x

huggs profile image
huggs

Hi Shar,

I am so sorry for this late reply but haven't been posting of late, and now playing catch up. Thank you for posting the wonderful and uplifting eulogy of you dad which was emotional to read. You must be so proud of him amidst your grief, and I am sure he was proud of you and your sisters too. I believe the greatest gift of all is the capacity to love, and he loved and was loved back. What a legacy to leave behind, along with his insightfulness and humour.

God Bless You, and take care.

hugs from Huggs xx :)

Shar54 profile image
Shar54

Thank you for all the lovely replies. It's great to hear of the friendship and help everyone gives each other on this forum.

Sharon xxx

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