Do you ever get a bundle of problems hitting at once?!!

Hello all. I haven't been posting anything for a while but still reading lots of valuable info available from you all. And I am grateful for that! Don't our worries all seem to hit at once? I went for a breast cancer test (there is a lump) a couple of weeks ago and the radiologist didn't turn up. They had to give me another test coming up next week, and I have been so anxious just waiting for that - then the results will follow a couple of weeks after that, so more waiting still to come after the test next week. I have also had ongoing stress from changes in my disability and ESA benefits and I am just awaiting a letter telling me it is reduced or something is to come off due to some change or other. It is so distressing and hangs over me like a black rainy-day cloud most of the time. All of this, while trying to cope with bronchiectasis and COPD ongoing symptoms. It all sort of gets in the way of trying to manage our illness, doesn't it? How do people manage when it all hits at once? Would be grateful for coping strategies and tips...

Don't wish to bring people's mood down, but well...I do feel a bit overwhelmed at the moment! And there is always some sensible advice given here.

xx stillmovin1

31 Replies

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  • hi there

    I no what you mean when it comes at once I take one day at a time I had a really bad week and it pull me down with it and I could not make it better so now I deal with life as it comes and carry on as best as I can life some times seems to be a waiting game but don't let life past you by waiting life to short but it at the back of your mind and I hope you get well soon and answers soon xxx

  • many thanks Penney - strong and kind words of support there. Many best wishes to you. xx

  • Hello Stillmovin, I know what you mean, it never rains but it pours! That was ........unfortunate ( to say the least ) that the radiologist didn't turn up! That's left you with an awful lot of time on your hands to worry about the lump ... worry, anxiety....leads to stress the opposite of 'ease'...it causes 'disease' dis-ease . I really believe that stress can cause the very cells of our bodies to become damaged. :( Somehow you are going to have to try and put it on the back burner...

    I understand how worried you are about your money but don't forget if they do change it you can appeal about their decision and the CAB will help with that. ( do it right away )

    My advice in a nutshell is to take one day at a time , keep a positive mental attitude, remember you are special and unique and loved !

    I'll be sending positive thoughts your way, hope the test goes well please stay in touch, hugs huff xxx

  • What a kind thing to say: 'you are special'...etc. It does change things doesn't it! Lots of thanks to you huggs. I agree entirely with your words on 'dis-ease'. I know for sure (I keep reading about it) about the physical changes anxiety brings about in our bodies. I do appreciate your package of positive thoughts - keep sending them! xxx

  • Sorry I MEANT HUFFERPUFFER! I know huggs too but I got your name confused. You see? I am in a state of total confusion these days and you won't believe half of the things I am forgetting or getting wrong! HUFFERPUFFER many thanks to you indeed...xxxstillmovin

  • Lolol! no worries Stillmovin! I am just the same these days :D I have to write everything down, then I go out and forget my list, I'm a nightmare! Anytime you want to chat just pm me! Have a lovely afternoon, huff xxxx

  • You poor thing, i understand how worried and stressed you must be feeling but you must try and bring it under control as stress is bad for you.Try some meditation it does help if you do it every day just ten minutes would do to start.It is nice to offload to someone on times when you are worried,you are welcome to talk to me anytime xx

  • I appreciate that bikergrove, thanks so much. I have quite a few meditation cds but I find it difficult to listen regularly and then enthusiasm wanes off. I know from lots of stuff I have read on the internet that it does have a remarkable effect on you - IF PRACTISED REGULARLY! I will give it more of a try though. I think stress is behind a lot of other problems I have had such as acid reflux, which seems to be there forever now! Since 2010 anyway. Yes, destressing is the answer. Sometimes I think that the older we become, the more complex things seem in our lives...I don't remember ever being faced with so many things which are labelled 'chronic'!!!! (Not in the medical sense of the word anyway!) Best wishes to you and we are all in this together I know, so it is great to be able to offer each other support now and then. xxxx

  • Sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed. It is not surprising and must be an anxious time for you. I. Hope your test goes well, as for the benefit problems don't worry about them until you have to then get help if you need to. Hope the sun shines for you today.Joyce

  • Joyce73 those are nice words thank you. I had hoped it would be sunny too but down here in good old Kent it is grey and wet. I know the benefits system has become a problem for lots of people now and I am facing the same worries as thousands of others but I have heard many positive outcomes about appeals, etc. on this site so I have to be prepared for it all as it looks like that particular issue isn't going to improve for the foreseeable future. Don't we all have to fight hard now?! I read things on this site about people and what they are going through with trying to manage respiratory illness as well as having to deal with everyday problems such as finances, getting out and about, etc. and I wonder if Mr IDS and other forces behind the welfare system changes are reading these forums and trying to tune into what people are actually going through. I hope you keep well too and thanks again. xxx stillmovin

  • Hello Still trucking 1, your tests seem to be a bit dragged out most hospitals now have faster turn round in suspicious symptoms, you must be at wits end. Don't worry too much about the benefits bit, changes are taking time to occur and they have to write to you first. Concentrate on keeping yourself as well as can be. Your right everything always seems to go wrong at once and it is hard to cope with when you have ongoing chronic illness. I find a little bit of me time helps, do things to take your mind of the things you have no control over, problems do get resolved but often not overnight. When you look back you will say well done me I got through the bad times at last. You need a strategy that helps you to cope we are all different, if crying helps do it, if a cream cake helps eat it , if antidepressants help get some from the Doc, and if chat helps come on here :) xx Ps hope the results are there soon and are good.

  • hello katieoxo - your words are invigorating. Bless you indeed. I like that there is plenty of help available here through the chat, as you say. Yes, the hospital did mess things up big time! It was the 'Rapid Access' team too. I decided not to change to another hospital in the meantime though, as I just didn't want to upset the applecart and I needed to get this initial test done and dusted this coming Thursday. It is silly that they couldn't find a way of letting me know, even on the morning of the appointment itself (which was later in the afternoon), that the radiologist wasn't going to be there. However, I have let the time slowly go by until next Thursday and let's see what happens. It just happened that in the meantime, I have been trying to put other matters to the back of my mind for ages too, such as the brown envelopes from the benefits system that have recently been appearing, advising that this, that and the other change is coming into force in a few months and that it will affect my payments. That is my only income, so it is like pulling the carpet from underneath my feet! My confidence has taken a complete knock when it comes to imminent medical assessments and support as I have heard so many shocking things about people in more obviously severe physical/mental states than myself who have lost their financial support under this new system. That is something that has been discussed many times on this site so I don't intend to invite a big discussion on that subject through my posting. It will arise again from other sources, I know. Just to say though, thank you so much katie for your warm wishes and the idea of a cream cake is luvverly indeed! xxx stillmovin

  • Glad to hear the cream cake is appealing, I like them too naughty but nice eh!! Goodnight try to rest and not think of the things you can't control for now xx

  • Hi katieoxo - just sending an update to you on an older post of mine - I had the test for the breast lump done again on 19 March and the radiologist said it was a cluster of cysts which was ok - not malevolent. I was so relieved! Thanks for your kind words at that time. xxx stillmovin

  • Glad it was fairly good news bet that was a massive relief for you. At least you know it is treatable or sometimes they just leave well alone if it is not malignant. So here's to a speedy recovery from the stress and a healthy future. Best Wishes xx

  • Its easy to say don't worry.......but that's just what I am going to say.

    Twice I had a lump.....one each side ,about five years apart.

    Both turned out to be innocent......This can happen to you, and it does to many many ladies.

    Chin up

    J.

  • Thanks budgiesmom - I have heard things like this too, and I must try not to think the worst. I won't know the results until about 10 days after the actual test. Everything is such a long wait! Glad to hear you were fine though. XXXX stillmovin

  • I did add a small extra thingy but somehow it got lost........... have noticed that they appear a bit slow getting the mammography done.

    May be that's agood sign. If you want a more in depth chat drop me a line.

    J.

  • Thanks for whatever you tried to send - it is the thought that counts! Yes, they are slow in this. I am trying to take it as a good sign too but my inner voice keeps whispering little negative things like 'It could be that you have picked the wrong hospital and they are just being inefficient!' Ho Hum. I shall not settle at all until I get this done and the results clarified. I need to be patient it appears. xxx

  • Hi hidden - just an update on an older post I did - the tests for the lump were ok (cysts). Big relief! Thanks for your kind wishes. xx stillmovin

  • Your mind seems to amplify all the smallest problems sometimes and then there is a batch of bigger ones hit as well.

    Try to deal with Today! If, What ,Maybe is not an answer until proven? I hope you are back to as normal soon.

    Be Well

  • Thanks for the very sensible advice Offcut. Today is what matters. It is when bad news or worrying news happens 'today' though, that knocks me over! The 'what if' habit is a hard one for me to shake off...I have to work on that. It really helps when I get feedback from people like yourself - stating exactly what I sort of already know but cannot manage to tell myself, if you see what I am trying to say! Much appreciated. xxx stillmovin

  • Completely understand I would of not of lost my business "IF I had done something different" The facts are I did not so I need to move on. PMA

    Be Well

  • I sometimes think they should pay us for being ill!Most of the time it,s a full time job.What with sorting out what we,re going to live on then arranging the next consultants appointment oh and Don,t forget that trip to the chemist,it,s never ending .I am constantly waiting on something or other,all of which makes life go by so quickly.Try not to worry about your results,they may well be ok.Why waste all that worry.Good luck and take care,regards D.

  • I agree FarmerD. 100%. The week I had the farcical 'non-test' appointment at the hospital for the lump is a good example! The day before that, I was at the same hospital for an appointment with the respiratory consultant, the morning before, I had to get to the pharmacy to pick up repeat medication and then had to sort out a problem with a mix-up in the prescription that the GP needed to resolve, the day following the breast test appointment was a new appointment with a COPD nurse at the GP surgery which involved a further trip to the pharmacy the next day ! OK I don't have a family to look after as well but if I did, they wouldn't be getting much looking after, would they?! Thanks for your kind wishes they are very much appreciated. xxx

  • YOU FOLK ARE ALL GREAT. Living on your own often means you (I mean 'me') have your own perspective in your head and need other input. I am very glad I joined this site a year ago, you are a wonderful help! Yes, I agree, it is of course best to take each problem and deal with it separately and to try to be more positive, it isn't easy of course. Thanks so much. xxxx

  • Hi stillmovin1 I hope all goes well with your hospital tests get them sorted first you will be in a better frame of mind to fight the DWP we have all suffered since Atos was given the contract to deal with the benefit system it is so unfair the way we have all been treated and I would like to see changes.

  • Hi onamission and thanks for your kind words. I think atos have been replaced now by Maxima or something like that (may have got the name wrong). Apparently, they are worse. I know that sounds blunt but that is what I have read. Well, we can only hope that something changes and people are given a fair assessment. And that it happens in our lifetime too! Very best wishes to you. xx

  • Atos were the first company French I think to take over the benefit system I understand before that Doctors would do the medicals and it was a far better system.

    I think anyone with a lung condition should automatically be awarded esa and pip I think its disgusting how people have been treated and people have died because of this system.

  • Well, I am picking up a lot on the fact that the illnesses themselves no longer are examined in these assessments, but whether or not you can perform certain key movements and functions which show that you have ability to manage through the day and night and, in the case of ESA assessments, whether you are fit to do a job, any sort of job, based on your ability to perform certain basic movements. This applies for working age people. The illnesses are not apparently the things that are important in these cases, which is why people with progressive and sometimes terminal illnesses, who are of working age, are being told they are fit to work and having their ESA Support Group benefits stopped. That is where a lot of problems are arising for those of us who have chronic and progressive conditions. Some conditions which are characterised by periods of flare-ups and then remissions and other chronic conditions which are triggered off by repetitive type movements are not being fairly assessed. It is despairing to think how unjust it is. The sad thing is that writing to MPs is no longer helpful as they won't touch this subject now and the CAB is the only point of help as most free legal advice systems and disability charities have had their funding withdrawn. It is a bleak world now for people under retirement age and with chronic conditions who have not yet reached the very severe stage of their disease. I didn't intend to go on about this too much but it is that time of the evening and it is all pouring out again. I shall probably wish I hadn't poured out so much tomorrow morning! There is enough to manage so I ought to let it drop for now. xxxx God Bless. stillmovin1

  • well said people like us are being treated like something they stood in

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