For those of a certain age!

A good laugh for people in the over 60 group!

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter.

I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she

could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship...

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy ( the GPS lady )at least she loves me!

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't

figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me.

They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, "No, but I do fart a lot."

I know some of you are not over 60, but figured your sense of humour could handle it.

We senior citizens don't need any more gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can h

30 Replies

  • yes, i have exactly the same confusing problems , worst thing ,we can`t go pressing button b on the phones to see if there was any coppers dropping

  • This was not my personal experience Whit, but I do remember the "coin " 'phones. As kids we used to go into 'phone boxes and "tap" them to call numbers for free! Lol

  • When we wanted to visit my gran, I used to ring her number, then when she answered pushed button B, got the coins back, then ran to tell mum "Gran's in" and we'd set off to visit her. Gran always knew it was me, so stayed home. Didn't waste money on an unnecessary call, or time, visiting someone who was out. :-)

  • I like that! :-)

  • Lol , never was so much trivia shared by so many. Even when trying on a dress in fitting rooms, people were still chattering on their mobiles. It is laughable, really it is. LoveMx

  • I so agree Scorpiolass. I think people look deformed today with one hand permanently "stuck" to their ear! I think that mobile 'phones, if used in the proper context are a good thing, but they can also be the source of a lot of harm when misused. They're also the gadget that makes the majority of users think that it's ok to stop in mid-conversation because the b***** thing buzzes and they just "have to take it!" When I hear these kids saying "I couldn't live without my 'phone" , it makes me want to throw up. I wonder how we ever grew up without one in the home - let alone in our pockets?

  • :-) On the last 2 occsions I have been on the bus 2 folks have had their mobies on loud speaker!!! cx

  • I love my iPhone and an rarely seperated from it. Not because I'm on the phone all the time but because I can use it as a computer without the hassle of having to go into another room and set up the PC. I won't say I couldn't live without it because that is clearly ridiculous but I can certainly say that it makes my life a whole lot more pleasurable. Taking photos and sending them on to friends at the click of an icon is just amazing. And receiving photos regularly from friends and family is twice as nice. Not to mention the little video clips, face time etc., etc. And being able to chat to people online ( as we do here) !! I wouldn't part with my phone for anything.

  • I would miss not being able to slam my phone down when I hang up on somebody! Violently pressing "End call" just doesn't "do it" for me. :-)

  • Certainly made me smile Nikkers and I am definitely over 60. You could not pay me to tweet or use Facebook but then I am lucky enough to have family just down the road, literally. All those wonderful grand children and great grand children, lucky you. Pete is happiest with his t.v. remote and garage remote - you can keep the rest.

    Take care. xxxx

  • Hi Nikkers. I know what you mean. This technology thing is beyond us. Every time I need to do something I have to ask my Son. He just goes Ding! Ding! Ding! And it's done. I'm pretty hopeless. It doesn't help that my three year old Granddaughter can work the phone. I do try and sometimes I may get it right. X

  • I didn't write this Mavary, just passed it on. I don't have trouble with technology myself, but I know what you mean! Love it, or hate it - it's here to stay I'm afraid!

  • Arrrh I am with you 100%. The world is moving far too fast for me as well. Now I know how my parents and grandparents felt! x

  • To paraphrase Arthur C. Clarke:

    'Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced'

  • Oh lordy isn't this true...!

  • :-)

  • Great gave me a real laugh,so funny but so true.

  • Good morning Nikkers, Wow what a family, your Christmas time must be very costly, agree with your sentiments,all very amusing, I have heard many people shouting at their Sat Navs, Love your sense of humour. Best wishes. Bulpit

  • Not my family Bulpit! This was just an amusing email that was sent to me, and I posted it on here to give everyone a giggle! Wish I could write witty stuff like that - and as for the size of that family - no thank you very much.

    Also, I think this was written by a male - I'm a female, well, - I was last time I looked! :-)

  • I love gadgets but it seems they do not like me so much. I do have a problem getting on with smartphones which is strange as I managed to organise and design a multi-site network without a problem. But have given up trying to text back as it takes forever, I end up phoning them to talk :)

  • WoW! Get you Offcut. I couldn't design a multi-site network. I think that texting is probably too lame for you, you need more of a challenge :-) ? I hate fiddly things and I find texting awful fiddly with those silly little buttons with 2/3 letters on each! I can't be bothered, I write emails in answers to text messages - they're free, as well! :-)

  • Couldn't agree with you more all this technology is a bit confusing x

  • I keep forgetting my phone is a phone.I use it for listening to my music or playing word games.I never give the number to anybody if I think they,ll use it.It was being in hospital I decided I needed one because they decided they would get rid of all the public phones WE the patients needed to use.I,ve only been in the hospital once since getting my phone. :x :D :x

  • I know that feeling too well farmer! I only got mine because my Daughter insisted on it ( in case I get stuck somewhere.) Then she moved over a hundred miles away, so that was a waste of time! Not that I ever go anywhere to "get stuck" in the first place. Lol.

  • Such a good read, so funny :) thanks for sharing :)

  • my sentiments entirely - take care - thanks xx

  • Hmm ! Well, you could always fling the phone across the room. They're quite durable :)

  • I'm nearly 65 and I love gadgets ! I've just bought a WiFi security camera that looks at my disabled bay outside my house. I work part time late evenings and get home about 10.30. So just before I leave work ( 20 odd miles away ) for home I check the bay is clear using my smartphone. If it isn't then I can look for a space on the way down my road. I can also move the camera left/right and up/down as well remotely. :) ( Cost me £20 from China ! )

  • I am 68 and love the new technology. I have a laptop, Android tablet, kindle and Galaxy 5 mini smart phone. I only use it for texting, facebook, taking photos and checking emails.

    I do a lot of Photoshopping competitively on Worth 1k and Freaking News. I don't know how I managed before the internet came along. My husband bought a computer in 1999 and it was three months before I would touch it. After that I became hooked.

    I used to love the MSN chatrooms and belonged to a group called 50ish friends. We would meet up every year. We have never been able to find another chat room like the MSN one. I also got into Superpets via facebook and loved it. Then it was taken over by google and closed down.

    I hardly ever use Twitter, I got it when I'm a Celebrity was on. Occasionally I will comment about Question Time.

    My husband worked on computers since they first came out, at the newspaper where he worked. He was a compositor when he started work in the print industry and had to do a six year apprenticeship. His pet hate is mobile phones. He has a basic one but refuses to use it.

  • I'm completely in agreement with your husband Azure, I too HATE mobile 'phones and only use it to answer texts if I really have to!? I don't even know the number of it!? I don't dislike all modern technology - I love my computer. I too worked in the newspaper industry, so I understand about compositing. I was trained many years ago on the forerunner of computers - a Powers Samas 80 col machine. I still have a pic' of it, which my children/grandchildren find hilarious! Ah! Sweet memories. :-)

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