Had a senior moment

I thought it was a vampire day today but got dates mixed up, its tomorrow I have to give some blood, so I got today off. Right the sun is out but its really cold still here in sunny Devon or in my bit anyway but they say the sun shines on the rightgeous, it must be that man next door.

I heard on the news that a man has been charged with killing a person with sandpaper, he said he only intended to rough him up a bit.

A really short elderly man went to the police to report he had been pick pocketed, the police said they could not understand how anyone could stoop that low.

Then there was the two lads that snorted curry powder instead of cocaine, both are in hospital, one is in a Korma and the other one has a dodgy tikka.

Have a good day everyone xx ;) Fred

21 Replies

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  • Great,really got me giggling,never heard them before.

  • Morning there redted have a good one. ;)

  • Bahahahhahaha...that last one REALLY made me chuckle Fred....where on earth do you get them from. I love your morning smiles.

    It's overcast here in South Wales. Freezing cold too. I'm just going to put my heating on to warm this place up a little. Have a nice day off Fred. :-) xxx

  • Thanks Lyn I love to hear your chuckles, I have gathered them the jokes that is not your chuckles from goodness knows where. Stay warm, you should stay under the covers longer till the house warms up. Enjoy today and we will speak later :) ;) xxxFred

  • Your'e in the wrong part of Wales today Jolyn - just come along the M4 to Haverfordwest (though there's a long queue in the Neath/Port Talbot area.) Anyway it's beautiful here ,clear skies & the sun is shining - might get the bikini out but,at Seventy three don't think I'll risk putting it on !!!!! 😉 Have a good day . Helen .( Love Fred's jokes too.)

  • I think I'll give the bikini a miss too Helen...lol.

  • ! You daft bat, lol have a good day and keep warm xxx

  • Hi there wabbit maybe this daft bat needs being sent lots of hugs to squeeze the daftness out of him lol xxx Fred ;) Thought do bats flirt during the day or at night only, think on ladies. xx

  • :D. :D :D LOL! LOL! Fred! Laughing so much the sun has come out hat and all!! :D Glad those vampires are leaving you alone for today :) hope you have a painfree smiley day, hugs huff. :D

  • Thanks huffs I always enjoy the hugs and still a bit early for the sun screen so put that bikini away for a while. ;) ;-D xx Fred

  • Morning Holly17, Thanks for the smiles! I thought it was Friday today - have to put the bins back now!!! xx

  • Another senior moment person, funny old world TAD ;) Fred XXX

  • Morning Fred, loved them really made me giggle.

    Sunny and cold here this morning got daughter coming today to iron some new curtains to go up.

    Think I will be staying in the warm.

    Take care

    polly xx

  • Stay warm polly pleased your daughter is near to help, it could be my service training but I enjoy ironing and find it relaxing in the morning and its funny I get no complaints about me doing it. ;) enjoy you time with your daughter xxx ;) Fred

  • \Morning Fred. Cold and miserable here too and there are some nasty black clouds... There is a bit of sun nearly shining on me - does that mean I am half righteous? :) xx

  • Hi there pal the sun is shining well now but its still very cold here, but I am sure your at least tree quarter righteous ;) xxx

  • Hi Fred,brill: jokes as ever just remembered one.Man finds sandpaper thinks he's found lost map of desert ,sorry all not as good as Fred's take care naresh62

  • Nice one pal I will lock that in my brain for later, stay safe Fred :)

  • Morning Fred. keep them coming,always make me laugh,very therapeutic on a frosty morning. Hope the vampire session goes. Well today,Best Wishes Bulpit

  • Hi Fred, my brother the ex CPO used to do the ironing, he also made the curtains and worked with leather to make bags etc; lucky woman his wife! Love your jokes, look forward to them every morning. Take care, Chris xx

  • Cheers Chris we ex CPO's had to get on and stay smart to set an example to the youngsters and that meant doing all jobs needed, it was a good life thats why I stayed 25yrs, xxFred :)

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