British Lung Foundation
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for the squirrel fans :D yes, they know who i mean :D

a chap went into a pub, said to the barman," would you like to see a trick," "ok" said the barman

so the chap went into his inside pocket, and brought out a tiny little piano, he then went into another pocket and brought out a mouse,!!

then the mouse began to play the piano, brilliantly,, the barman thought this was great ,

so the chap then went into another pocket [he had a lot of pockets :D ] then brought out a tiny little microphone, then into another pocket brought out a tiny squirrel,

then, as the mouse was playing the piano, the squirrel sang like the blazes down the microphone .

the barman said he had never seen anything like it,, and offered to buy this"trick" from the chap, offering him loads of money.

the chap said "no i couldn't sell it to you, as i would be cheating you"

the barman said " what do you mean cheating me!!, i've just seen his with my own "eyes :) " ill double my price, as this is fantastic."

"no" the chap said "i wouldn't want to have it on my conscience, as i don't want to cheat you" "what exactly do you mean ,, cheating me" then offered him more,,

"i've said it three times now",the chap said," i wont sell you this trick as i wont have it on my conscience, that i have cheated you "

at that the barman was now getting a little irate,," ok then,, just tell my why you think your cheating me"

"right" said the chap, "you don't really think a squirrel could actually sing, thats just plain stupid, off course the squirrel is not singing".....................

he said its the mouse thats singing!!!,,,,,,,,,,,,,the squirrel is only a ventriloquist :D :D

love jimmy xxx :)

65 Replies
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Jolly good. Well done that man. (Applause)

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thanks rib, :)

its very cold windy hear at the moment , [thats the weather i'm talking about ,, not me :D ]

jimmy

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Oh jimmy thanks you. Now i'm laughing my sleepy head off. A lovely tonic on a wet cold morning. xx

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many thanks suzy, hope your well,

love jimmy xxx :)

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He heeeeee....that' s a good one Jimmy :-) xxx

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hi lyn, its always a wee chuckle :) many thanks

love jimmy xxx :)

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Nice one jimmy I think I had better hand the baton over to you pal as that,s a great one. Hope you you are still on the up, I have a feeling we need to be alert as the Squirrel squad are becoming restless :) and at the moment we are a bit thin on the ground, but if we scatter a bit of flattery around it might hold them off for a while, mind you I found that Flattery is like a broken car it gets you no where with some ladies.

Stay safe pal. :) Fred

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ah fred :) i hope things are going ok for you :) you've got it in oner my old mate :D you certainly keep us going :D , thats the best way, why not :) aye welle just need to watch this squirrel squad [good job theres a spell check on this darn thing :D ]

we will just need to have a contingency plan ,[or just need to be careful lol :D ] all the very best fred, sincerely meant

jimmy :)

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hope your a bit better today fred , i noticed in another post [today tuesday ] you were in a wee bitty pain i hope this has eased now ,, its on this post, as my computer is going like me,,, barmy :D all the best fred jimmy :)

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Ha Ha :)

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thanks sir james [look a bit like me that avatar!! :D]

jimmy :)

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That's cheered me up :)

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thanks ptliverpool, glad to hear its cheered you up, i take it your from liverpool [what a brain eh :D ] my mothers side are all from liverpool,, makes me a real mongrel :D [ a scottish liverpudlian :D ]

al the very best

jimmy :)

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Encore, encore!

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hi niks :D keep clapping :D , it keeps the hands warm in this weather :D thanks niky,,

lots of love jimmy xxx :)

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Nice having you back with us Jimmy Ive not been on so Ive missed when you did come back hope you are feeling a lot better take care Jimmy love xxx

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hi bliss2

thanks for the nice post, i'm feeling wee bit better [ups and downs] more downs today , fell asleep for hours :D

lots of kind thoughts bliss,

love jimmy xxx :)

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Lol. Xxxx

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ah medow :) many thanks

lots of love jimmy xxx :)

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Hahalololgiggles!!! :D very good :D more, clapping for more lolol!!!

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:D :D i'm laughing at your post :D many thanks huffer

kindest thoughts

jimmy :)

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So funny cheered me up on this miserable day.

Cora

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hi cora, yes its been the same here, in fact worse as the day has went on,, wet cold and windy [just like me now lol :)]

glad its cheered you up :)

love jimmy xxx :)

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that's a cracker lollollol

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:D :D hidden thoughts!! :D :D thanks eyes , its like cracking nut :D ,,,me :D

love jimmy xxx :)

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Hey Jimmy, Hard to beat all the previous replies so what the hell, lets make it a standing ovation!!!

xx

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oh sara, your too kind lol :) i hope your ok in this bad weather,

ever had a brain blank ? as i just got one now!! :D forgot what i meant to print!! :D ,,its just the weather effecting me :D or maybe just going off my chump :D :D [hope its the first lol :D

many thanks sara, your much appreciated

lots of love jimmy xxx :)

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put him in a pie ;)

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squirrel pie, rabbit pie, ive even had mag pie :D :D

many thanks offcut :)

jimmy :)

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Is that Jimmy or the squirrel for the pie?!!

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was wondering that myself :D :D

love jiimy xxx :)

p,s have i to call this squirrel potty ? :D

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Potty is good Jimmy!

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:D :D well its better than pressure cooker!!! :D

love jimmy xx :) [hope your well sara]

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Lovely :d x

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many thanks cough :)

all the very best

lots of love jimmy xxx :)

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Still giggling Jimmy!

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thanks d/mum,, och its always a wee smile to keep us going lol :)

love jimmy xxx :)

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Good one Jimmy x

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thank you joyce, hope your well

lots of kind thoughts

love jimmy xxx :)

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So cute!

I loved it Jimmy!

we miss your jokes.

Looking forward to more

Rubyxx 😊

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thanks ruby, its all could think of at the time,, :) i just not long woke up then, then just not long woke up now,,, i think i must be hibernating :) roll on some better weather,, both sides of the ocean :)

lots of love

jimmy xxx :)

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Haha ! :)

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thanks puff :) hope your well

kindest regards jimmy :)

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Hi Kimmy, :-D Magic tricks are best left wondering how you do that! I love magic tricks!

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thanks mic, hope things are better for you,, and the flute practice going well :)

kind regards

jimmy :)

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Hopefully, I can get rid of the junk that is produce minute by minute. My new name is Niagara falls!

Here's a lovely tune on the flute played by James Galway

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listened to he tune mic , how great it would be to have a gift like that,, :)

im the opposite of you mic, its phlegm thats coming , by he gallon !! even gurgling and wakening me during the night, but at least its "loose" and clearer now ,,and coming up!!!, but kind of exhausting me, have a cold also, but still awaiting sputum sample handed in last monday

niagara falls :) och it is annoying, lets hope you improve,, best regards jimmy [tired even now :) ]

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Cheers, Jimmy. I got up and rinsed my nose and gargled with salt and baking soda, made me flood out and coughing up. I put Vicks First Defence. This is my onslaught against the germs I don't want. ((((exterminate)))! Hope you feel better soon, Mic

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hope the germs are exterminated :)

ive been gargling with tcp, letting a little slip down my throat , then dabbing it neat on the sores at the side of my mouth, caused by inhalers ,, even sticking tcp up my nose :) [anything to exterminate lol :) ] as oxygen is drying

my nose, i usually use manuka honey when these sores appear, it cures it in a day or two, but haven't got any at the moment, and not quite ready to venture out to the shops yet , but i will soon,,,, scooter on charge :) [but weather bad :) ]

hope your feeling better mic, its rotten when your nose is like a tap, lets hope it improves soon as you've enough to put up with.

kindest thoughts jimmy

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Jimmy, don't be reckless with TCP in throat. If it goes into the lungs, you could have a serious inflammation.

You can be energetic, but with caution!

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i didnt know that mic,, see you live and learn, but its is really a week solution for a gargle, but dab a stronger bit on my sore mouth, but ive used manuka honey before to heal these "inhaler sores" rubbing a bit on at night," jimmy

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Good idea, Mic

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Hi Jimmy glad to see your back cheering us up, I hope you keep on improving. Take care Pegxx

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hi pegbi, getting there albeit slowly :)

many thanks peg, hope your well

love jimmy xxx :)

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Thanks Jimmy that one gave me a right chuckle :D :D :D

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Thanks anthony, glad it made you chuckle lol :)

take care jimmy :)

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How are doing these days Jimmy keeping reasonably well I trust :) :D :P

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och one step forward two back :) then vica versa next day :) but all in all, i've been worse :D great to hear from you, hope things are going well,,, jimmy :) ,

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very much the same as you Jimmy I am battling flare up number four since leaving hospital after the pneumonia :D :D still life goes on thanks to my O2 machine one good thing is that I am not so reliant on it at the moment :P :|D :)

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:D

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sorry for the later reply anthony, i fell asleep for about an hour :D my goodness it like its like starting again in the morning, neb, meds etc, wheezing etc, but can sort that with a little work, but it takes some time.

yes anthony sometimes pneumonia takes quite long time to really get better, i had it, thought i was ok coming out of hospital, but it did take some time to really recover,, as i found out,, but as you say, life goes on, i'm glad your over the hospital part, now we need spring to arrive to pick us all up a bit :) best of luck anthony, regards jimmy [good to hear from you ]

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Nice one Jimmy. Hang in there mate, Spring is coming soon and the world will look a better place.

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hi warickstag, hope things are improving aye your right there :) i think we'll all improve when this darn weather gets better, its blinken snowing here now, but not really lying , but cold,, sooner the spring comes the better :D were into march at weekend, so surely it cant be long now :D many thanks,

great to hear from you, all the very best warwickstag,, best regards jimmy :)

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xxxxxxx

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:D xxxx jimmy

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