50 shades of grey Valentine

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES

The missus bought a Paperback,

down Shepton Mallet way,

I had a look inside her bag;...

T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it,

And at ten I went to bed.

An hour later she appeared;

The sight filled me with dread.

In her left hand she held a rope;

And in her right a whip!

She threw them down upon the floor,

And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;

I might have had a peek;

But Mabel hasn't weathered well;

She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;

Could not have been much grimmer.

And things then went from bad to worse;

She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;

A couple minutes later;

She put her teeth back in and said

"I am a dominator!!"

Now if you knew our Mabel,

You'd see just why I spluttered,

I'd spent two months in traction

For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked

Bent forward just a bit

I went to hold her, sensual like

and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;

My God what had I done!

She moaned and groaned then shouted out:

"Step on the other one!!"

Well readers, I can tell no more;

Of what occurred that day.

Suffice to say my jet black hair,

Turned fifty shades of grey!!

13 Replies

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  • Sorry if this has already been posted. I think this must be my first post in the humour section and apologies also if anyone is offended by the t word but this little story wouldn't be the same without it I think.

  • Thank you for posting Humour. I love this. An excellent post that I would not have come across otherwise.

  • It seemed like the only times I've been on humour is when I'm objecting to some semi racist rubbish and then being accused of not having a sense of humour!

  • Brilliant :d x

  • Loved it :-)

    polly xx

  • Lovely notlocal , Pam Ayres is well loved in the South West, she has a wicked sense of humour doesn't she?

  • Hilarious and so topical.

  • Brilliant, rolling on floor laughing. What a giggle. Thank you.

    hugs from Huggs xxx :)

  • So funny, my husband wasn't that amused though! that's his loss.

  • lovely thank you xx

  • :D

  • Falling about in fits of giggles. lol

  • HA that is so funny! I loved it. Could use more laughs like that.Can't believe I just now saw it.

    Rubyxx 😊 😊

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