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found on NHS medical,records

jimmyw123 profile image
23 Replies

[1] By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart beat had stopped, and he was feeling better. :)

[2] On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it had completely disappeared :)

[3] She had no rigors or shaking chills, buy her husband states , she was very hot in bed last night :D

[4] The patient has been depressed ever since seeing me in 1983 :)

[5] Patient was released from outpatient department without dressing. :)

[6] The patient was crying constantly. she also appears to be depressed. :)

[7] Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male , mentally alert , but forgetful :)

[8] The patient refused an autopsy :)

[9] The patient had no past history of suicide. :)

10] The patient expired on the floor uneventfully :)

[11] She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions, in early december . :)

[12] The patient experienced sudden onset of shortness of breath with a picture of pulmonary oedema at home while having sex in the emergency room :D

[13] Between you and me , we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant :)

[14] While in the ER , she was examined , x-rated and sent home :)

[15] Occasional , constant, infrequent headaches. :)

[16] Patient was alert and unresponsive. :)

[17] When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room :)

[18] Discharge status; Alive but without permission :)

[19] The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get the doctor to dispose of him :)

[20] Since she cant get pregnant with her husband, i thought you would like to work her up. :)

p.s.

My 92 year old grandmother was complaining that she had been on the NHS waiting list for over a year!!. i agreed this was completely unacceptable, especially for a woman of that age.

But i said to her,,,,,

"Gran, could you not just live without bigger boobs ? " :D

.

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jimmyw123 profile image
jimmyw123
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23 Replies
Jolyn profile image
Jolyn

Bahahhahahahhahahha...love those Jimmy. Thank you for that. I hope you're keeping well. xxx

jimmyw123 profile image
jimmyw123 in reply to Jolyn

hi jolyn, its the best i could do untill i think of a better one :D :D its always a wee laugh anyway :)

im keeping ok, i hope you are jolyn

kindest thoughts jimmy xxx :)

fantastic - 8/ 9/ and 10/ really made me laugh out loud :)

jimmyw123 profile image
jimmyw123 in reply to

hi eyes, strangely enough these were the same ones that made me smile :D we must have a similar sense of humour :D

hope your keeping well pat, thinking of you,

kindest thoughts jimmy xxx :)

butter-fly profile image
butter-fly

So funny Jimmy! Good to see you back in form again. Sara xxxx

jimmyw123 profile image
jimmyw123 in reply to butter-fly

ah sara,:) nice to see you online , hope things are improving for you,

its the best i could dig up for the moment lol :D

hope to continue to get in better form :D

lots of love jimmy xxx :)

jojo29 profile image
jojo29

had a good laugh ended in a coughing fit

keep em coming

xx

jimmyw123 profile image
jimmyw123 in reply to jojo29

thanks jo jo,

there are some comical remarks :D

best regards jo jo,, jimmy xxx :)

Brilliant :d :) x

jimmyw123 profile image
jimmyw123 in reply to

thanks cough, hope you enjoyed your chinese :D lol and having a good birthday ,:) oops tomorrow :D

kindest thoughts jimmy xxx :)

in reply to jimmyw123

Thank you Jimmy I will :d Not had chinese though - that was lovelight! :) x

mustcarryon profile image
mustcarryon

I'm falling about laughing. xxx

jimmyw123 profile image
jimmyw123 in reply to mustcarryon

thanks m/c/o all the very best best regards jimmy xxx :)

sorry for late reply, i was at that very hospital monday :D :D

Nikkers profile image
Nikkers

Great stuff Jimmy. I find things like this all the time on t.v and in books and newspapers. People just do not think before they write! Very funny. XX

jimmyw123 profile image
jimmyw123 in reply to Nikkers

thanks nikky best regards [still cant get over your one :D ] jimmy xxx :)

Lyd12 profile image
Lyd12

No. 4 is the winner for me - so true! Hilarious!

jimmyw123 profile image
jimmyw123 in reply to Lyd12

thanks lyd , think that one was true of me and my doctor :D [ he said i was the happiest depressive hes ever seen ? :D :D ]

take care lyd,, jimmy xxxx :)

Offcut profile image
Offcut

Patient was alert and unresponsive. classic :D

jimmyw123 profile image
jimmyw123 in reply to Offcut

ha ha,, crazy but funny :D ,, hope things improve offcut,, jimmy :)

undine profile image
undine

lol had me chuckling and laughing - needed that today - thank you - take care xxx

jimmyw123 profile image
jimmyw123 in reply to undine

thanks undine, glad it helped you today,,

take care now, regards jimmy xxx :)

Just found this jimmy and nearly choked on my coffee laughing..................brilliant

Hope your well x

jimmyw123 profile image
jimmyw123

aye mandy, some comical remarks :D

talking about choking over your coffee, i'm drinking a cup of tea just now, i left the teaspoon in the cup :D poked it right up my snout :D ,, now i could have lost that teaspoon,, with the size of my nose :D

you take care mandy

lots of love jimmy xxx :)

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