British Lung Foundation
34,285 members41,676 posts

an awkward customer,, be polite, then loose the rag !!!

Cursed with a bald head and a wooden leg, a man is surprised to learn that hes been invited to a fancy dress party.

.Deciding that he might pull it off if he wears a costume to hide his head and leg, he writes to a theatrical outfitters asking them for advice.

A few days later, he receives a parcel from the company with a note that says,

Dear sir. Please find enclosed a pirates outfit, the spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head, and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a buccaneer.

Unfortunately , the man finds it deeply insulting, as they so clearly emphasized his wooden leg, so he fires off a letter of complaint.

A week passes before the postman delivers another parcel with a note that reads,

Dear sir, sorry about our previous suggestion-please find enclosed a monks habit. The long robe would hide your wooden leg and with your bald head, you will really look the part.

This infuriates the man again, because they have simply switched from emphasizing his wooden leg, to his balding head, so he writes the company another letter of complaint,

The next day he receives a tiny parcel and a hastily scrawled note, which reads;

Dear sir, please find enclosed a tin of treacle!!, pour it over your head!!, stick your wooden leg up your ass!! and go as a toffee apple,

you grumpy twat!! :D

25 Replies
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Brill. X Sonia x

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ha ha,, the reason i was reminded of this joke :D,i was whilst on the internet,,,,,

a mate was clearing rubbish from my garden,, and house ,,, he did a great job,,, and not thinking [which i never do lol],,,, i said, "you might have brushed the path " he said no problem, ill stick the brush up my a,,,,,,, and break these old kitchen units up at the same time ,,,,

,yip :D i def. asked for that one,,, ha ha, its a good job he knows me,,, i,ll be out the a and e soon ha ha :D lol

just a wee laugh sonia,,,,,love jimmy xxxx

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Love a good joke jimmy, It does us good to laugh for a change, hope ur well. Take care x Sonia x

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Hilarious Jimmy. Great joke and I love your true story to go along with it. Hope you can sit down alright now. ha ha Take care now,

hugs from Huggs xxx

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ha ha, that was true huggs,,

unfortunately im wee bitty sore this morning,[i dont mean with the brush :D lol] , but it,ll be ok as the day goes on...

yes that joke reminded me of the nurse taking a rectal temperature, after inserting the thermometer, another nurse made the chap sit down,,,,OUCH , doesnt bare thinking off :D

glad you liked it huggs,, love jimmy xxx

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Oh jimmy best laugh of the day. Now hubby wants to know why I'm laughing my head off. Shall I show him or keep it a secret!!

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thanks my lovely pal suzy,, your laughing off your head,,,and im just off my head!!! :D ,,, no secrets between us suzy off course tell hubby,,, but dont tell him the other things ha ha,,people will start talking,,,,[you know im only kidding] your wee jovial jock,,, jimmy xxxxx

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lollollollol oh great :)

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nice to have a wee laugh eyes,,, your great in my eyes :) take care,,jimmy xxx

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you take care too jimmy and keep em coming :) :) :)

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:D

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That bought a big smile, jimmy xx

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aye, the old ones are the best lol,,,,worth a smile anyway :) thanks pergola,,,,jimmy xxx

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ha ha ha ha ha ha

oh you are naughty but i like it x x

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:D

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You are not losing your touch Jimmy,loved it!! xxx

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thanks wendells, very hard to get clean jokes nowadays,,,i think the treacle made that a dirty one!! D:

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Brilliant. A kick up the ass for the pathetic, political correct brigade.

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quite right m,c,o,,,, you got to be careful what you bloody say nowadays,,,oops :D thanks my friend m,c,o :) ,,,,,, jimmy

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Nice one Jimmy. I shall certainly pass this one on! XX

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keep them up nikkers,,, :D sorry,, keep IT up, and pass it on :) keep smiling niks,,, kindest thoughts ,,jimmy xxx

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Thanks Jimmy, the ending was just as I would put it, hm! I sent the joke to a friend of mine who relishes these coming from HealthUnlocked. Keep'em coming!

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glad you liked it helingmic,,:) hope your keeping well,, jimmy

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Lol x

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Nice one Jimmy ! :)

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