A police officer pulls over a speeding car.
The officer says: "I have just clocked you doing 80mph, Sir"
The driver replies "Christ officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating"
Not looking up from her Knitting the wife says "Now don't be silly dear, you know this car doesn't have cruise control!!
As the officer writes out the ticket, the husband looks over at his wife and growls, "Can you please shut up!"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful that your radar detector went off when it did".
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife - "for Christ sake woman, shut your mouth"!
The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice your not wearing your seatbelt Sir !!
That's an automatic 75 pound fine.'
The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over, so that I could get my licence out of my back pocket".
The Wife says "Now dear you know that you never had your seatbelt on and that you never ever wear a seatbelt when driving"!
Well the husband loses it, and begins to shout and swear at his wife.
The officer looks over at the woman and asks "Does your husband always talk to you like this, Madam?
Only when he is drunk! came the reply