i was in hospital a few weeks ago and the doctor asked me if i would want to be resuscitated ...........im 49 and just burst into tears........has anyone else on here been asked that
i was asked do i want to be resuscita... - Lung Conditions C...
i was asked do i want to be resuscitated
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46 Replies
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Omg, I was horrified reading that so cant comprehend what it felt like being asked it, life can be cruel, god bless ya xxxx
in reply to mcnally
It was a shock to be asked that and she did it in such a cold way she didnt even prepare me or the question she just came out with it....her bedside manner needs working on x
No I haven't been asked, but I have been trying to get it on my records that I do not want to be resuscitated but I am 76 and have lots of other ailments too.....try not to get too serious about being asked this question. It is frightening to be faced with things, but I am sure he was making sure the right information go on your records - people have that kind of thing on their file for years, so please don't worry........sending a big hug. 
Ad be insulted myself hope you put them straight .. am sure i would but do you get a choise really when they parilise you anyway
As any lung suffer knows you should not take sedatives
But yer i understand why but think ad like to going fighting as when paralised cant get up is you half recover
A think its excuses to kill us really .. Am sorry but thats how i feel
Ave lost two aunts both undiagnosed condition .. One cancer round her heart and one from cancer or abses as hospital or coroner could not determin
Thats how my harsh opinion as been formed
in reply to
It was because of sedatives i was put into hospital....My gp decided i was depressed and put me on something that made me sleep and i had no idea i shouldnt be on them...4 days later my waste gasses were sky high and my oxygen level was at 35......i thought i was dying how the hell can a gp not know that i shouldnt take that
in reply to
Hi mandy6513 is pitts tottaly understand .. If me you did our jobs that Ssshy we would be up the road with a sharp boot
Thats with out killing anyone
Yer done a post on very subject .. yer i know to well Co2 scale there is no 11 .. Think ya was very lucky like me
Its bit much it comes down to luck when it comes down to GPs and ya health
No I haven't that must have been awful for you, why would they want to do that, my husband had cancer, and he was only asked that question when he was given just weeks to live with cancer. Angse
in reply to angse
Thats why i burst into tears i thought she was saying i didnt have long left to live....It was an awful thing to be asked with no warning surely there is a better way to do it
That must have been really shocking for you Mandy, no wonder you were upset. But from what I read it's getting more and more common to ask these questions of anyone who's hospitalised with a severe illness. You should have asked him if they need to resuscitate all their patients and if so, what are they doing wrong Take care Mandy and good luck with your consultation next week !
in reply to
ha ha i am usually quick at sarcasm and would have loved to have said that but i thought she was saying i havnt got long to live.....thank hun
Yes i was asked once in a round about sort of way ! I was very ill in i c u was told i was going to be put on ventilator ...and they then asked me if they should recussitate me if i arrested .. my reaction was yes i got 2 beautifull grand kids . That was about 5 years ago and since then have deteriorated a lot. So dont know how i would feel now i also think it depends how u feel at the time you can change from day to day . I have had thi disease 60 years and sometimes i feel it is a long time to keep fighting. All the best. X
in reply to sue48
when she asked me that i thought she knew something i didnt and i was about to die.....it was the way she did it that was wrong she just blurted it out with no warning of what the conversation would be
i cant imagine 60 years of this but knowing that your message has made my day because obviously i could be around a long time too so thanks for the reply x x
A few years back I had angina and had a small stent put in. The artery was slightly gunged up. I have had no problem since ( no angina, nothing ) and my heart checks show a healthy heart and as good as most fit people's.
In February this year I became very ill with a nasty infection on my lungs ( back to normal now though ). Anyway, a consultant nurse of some sort sat by my bed and said that she would advise that if I had a heart attack or something similar it would not be worth trying to start it again as my heart would be too weak to take the strain if it did get started so would I sign the form. I couldn't believe what I'd just heard !!!! I said have you read my notes ? Are you saying they just let me die ? I actually laughed at her in disbelief ! I also said that if an ambulance turned up for whatever reason then they may as well give it a go seeing as they would already be there !!. So you don't want to sign the form then, she said. No I said. Are you having a laugh I said ??
Some people are in the wrong job.
in reply to Puffthemagicdragon
blimey thats as bad as mine....they are so matter of fact arnt they
i have copd and bronchiectasis and im oxygen dependent and due to my stupid gp who put me on sedatives my waste gasses went sky high and thats what i was in for ...the consultant walked up to my bed pulled the curtains and asked me if i want to be resuscitated if im found dead....i thought she knew something i didnt and that i was dying...looking back i wish i had got angry not upset because all i could do was cry when in fact she needed telling off for being so cold in her manner
she clearly has that profession for the money not that she cares about people
Oh my goodness I am the same age as you - how horrendous to be asked that question. Try to rise above it! Take good care, TAD xx
hi mandy, so sorry you were upset at this, i can fully understand your feelings as i was asked just a couple of weeks ago, when i was at a very low ebb,[i felt the same as you,,,, i gazed out the window in, shock and silence, then the g,p said "i can see you thinking about this,and this could be the wrong time to ask,, so we will leave it for another time",,,,,i then came to my senses and then replied i am a christian, and would have thought that in a so called christian country, that our beliefs say we should preserve life at all costs.
i do realize theres more to this than meets the eye, as a few of my friends were asked about the same time,,, could this be new "guide lines" ? as this is what we seem to be living with at the moment,,,,,,,"guide lines",,,, im sick hearing the words,,,
i,e, couple of weeks ago [when she asked] i was given amoxicillan, and steroids for infection, i told the g,p that amoxi. is no good for me ,,and that i needed co-amoxiclav, and a sputum sample taken,!! but told these were the first line "guide lines" ,,i was ill since then,,,
then i had to phone doc after two weeks, she then gave me co-amoxiclav,more steroids [heavier dose] and took sputum sample , [never had any results of the sputum sample],,which helped very slightly,,,,
is this what we just go on nowadays "guide lines" we could look up the computer and manage ourselves ourselves by .,, "guide lines" ...
can g,p.s not use their training and expertise?? rather than look up a page on a computer and see what the "guide lines" are.
sorry if this sounds harsh, but still not quite myself at the moment.
in reply to jimmyw123
i do think asking me that was a new government guide line thing your right but its the way i was asked it was like asking if i wanted cheese or ham in my sandwich......as for what your gp did with you they let you down in the biggest way....we all know OUR guide line is sample in on the first day and start the steroids and back up antibiotics that you should already have at home that have been shown to work best from a sensitivity test your gp should have done
i blame my gp for me getting as ill as i have and when i was in hospital it was because my gp put me on sedatives which i didnt know we shouldnt take but she should have known !!!! my waste gasses were sky high and that was when i was asked if i wanted resuscitating
living with this is a battle in itself we shouldnt have to battle with the gp and i never thought i would have to argue with mine for the right meds but i do now and im pretty certain the receptionists make things very difficult for me sometimes because of it
jimmyw123 in reply to
hyi mandy, yes i agree in all you say, my experience was as you say,just like asking if you wanted cheeses or ham on your sandwich!!! so just matter of fact, no compassion,and most certainly not at the right time whatsoever,, however we live and learn,and i not sure its good keeping quiet now , rather the opposite, far better to demand what we know is best for ourselves,
good luck mandy,
kindest regards jimmy xx
in reply to jimmyw123
You are right Jimmy it has amazed me how much the doctors dont know and ive learnt very quick you have to be very firm and sadly argumentative at times to get the right treatment
Louisiana in reply to
I didn't quite realise the way this was asked of you when I replied the other day. I hope the consultant was sympathetic on seeing your tears and fears - if not, then they should be fired. You take care, and keep reading on this site and seeing how many are living for a long time......the positive is catching
My Mother in Law was admitted to hospital with severely damaged lung and it was her that said DNR. But we had to make the decision for my mother with acute Leukaemia who had a 3 to 6 week prognosis. We chose DNR as all it was going to do was prolong the suffering. She passed peacefully in her sleep on the 5th week.
The other side of this is my wife was told twice that I was not going to survive the night! What hell she must of gone through every time the phone rang.
Be Well
in reply to Offcut
i went in because my gp put me on sedatives which i didnt know we cant take and my waste gasses were sky high i dont think i was serious enough to be asked the dnr question but from what im hearing its a government thing
in reply to
what sedative was that please ?...I ask as I have been prescribed one recently and not started yet.
Horrific experience of being asked that awful question ....and I would have feared the worst if it had been me .... then realised it's an assumption of mine and there may be another reason they asking this .... maybe it is standard procedure ? so maybe ask why you have been asked that question and complain about how it was asked too. xxx
Me dad was asked that and even at 61 he cried. Unfortunately he was in so much pain that he said no, and i found out he had the paperwork signed the day before he passed away but no one knew at first so the paramedics tried then had to stop. It was heartbreaking but i respected his decision to the end because i wanted the suffering to end. Of course every child, parent and partner would give anything to have one more day but ultimately its your decision. I hope everyone supports you through your choice xxx
You did the right thing for your Dad but I know from personal experience how hard it was for you. Don't ever feel guilty - remind yourself that is exactly what your Dad wanted and no matter how sad we feel, it is up to that person. You did well - you were very brave. Take care
I was classed as terminal 9 months ago I was put on palliative care register and was asked if I wanted dnr placed on my files I said not until was on palliative end of life care. she told me that I can request that dnr can be put on my file then I am happy that will be good for me rather than suffering .
It is now procedure to ask, however it also states that tact must be used.
I was recently in hospital and the consultant had to ask a woman in the bed opposite me. He was lovely, explained why they felt she might feel it was appropriate, it was just part of a general discussion.
I know about it as he had asked her if she objected to me being there as she had no relatives and no nurse was free, again he was very tactful asking, based it on I am male maybe you would like a woman present.
I was ask to attend my doctors as the hospital had requested a care plan. They are trying to avoid admissions and want to make sure patients now what to do to help with this. One of the last questions was, do you want to be resuscitated. This really freaked me out.
Still feeling a little numb. I am 56 and really did not want to even go there.
Kindest Regards
GJ
My husband has been asked this twice now once when he was in hospital in February, and I just replied I bought him into this hospital breathing and would like to take him home that way. The worst thing that has happened was last week when a lung nurse called into see him at home when I was at work and told him quite bluntly that he had 3 months to 3 years at the best so had he got everything in hand and again the DNR question was asked yet again, how can people do this in such a blunt way and not care what it is doing to the person, he was on his own and had to deal with it on his own until I got back from work. My sister had the same thing happen he was given six months and he just gave up said it wasn't worth it, think my husband is doing the same now, my brother in law passed away in April, he lasted 5 months more than they said, how long would he have gone on for if he wasn't told that he didn't have long.
in reply to badham
i would want to know if i had a short time left but i would ask to be told i dont think she had the right to do that to your husband and i would have made a complaint about it for the reasons you have said that some people would give up........how many other people has she said it to !!!!!! your husband has you and just reading that i can see you adore him but some of us are alone and imagine being left to deal with that alone ................................that nurse has no right to do that its disgusting
badham in reply to
I don't think she had any right either, she hadn't asked me or told me what she was going to say to him, and he was already down and fed up with everything, she should have thought but she didn't or she didn't care, I have told our doctor what she said and he wasn't impressed, and also told our support doctor at the hospital and said she couldn't tell our long he has left.
I was asked to see my respiritory nurse who said the government had issued new guide lines for people who are at risk of emergency admission to hospital ( as I am- and probably many of you ) She asked me if I was to collapse in the surgery there would I want them to resuscitate me ? I`m no spring chicken but I hope I`ve got a few years left. She also warned that I`d be asked the same question if I was in hospital.
Is this the governments way of dealing with the fact that we`re living too long ? Aren`t we made to feel guilty all the time as it is ? This doesn`t instil trust . It`s as if they`re saying " lets get some volunteers to pop their clogs- that`ll reduce the NHS bill " And yet they won`t allow poor souls trapped in their bodies with motor neurone disease or locked-in syndrome to choose to die. It`s an insidious move.
In hospital feeling very low and ill, one could opt for DNR and yet a few days later feel differently. Let`s hope there`s time to change one`s mind. Stay well, Sheila x
Mandy, l am so sorry as this is such a tough question to be asked, My husband was asked this and it shocked us, until they explained why. Did you or were you able to ask them why? For my hubby it was because of the quality of life he would have after, which would be bad, and the illness would still be there. I'm so sorry for the distress this has caused you.
in reply to rockett777
she never warned me she would ask it or explained why she literally drew the curtains around the bed and said " do you want to be resuscitated if your found dead" then went on to tell me how most of the time it dosnt work.....i was only in there because my doctor had given me sedatives and it had made my waste gasses go through the roof and i honestly thought she was asking me because she knew something i didnt and i was going to die soon......i wasnt very well and just sat and cried when she said it but looking back she needed telling off she was so matter of fact
I find that unthinkable in one so young. But although he didn't appear to have a very good attitude, he was probably just making sure. I imagine they can't enjoy having to ask these questions!!
in reply to
the doctor who asked me was a woman and she had a load of students with her and with no thought or warning or feeling she asked me ...... i was in because my waste gases were sky high because my gp gave me sedatives and although a lot of people have said its a government thing she didnt ask the people in the next beds and at the end of the day because i have a lung disease dosnt mean the woman in the next bed couldnt die before me.....i couldnt stop crying and i hope my reaction made her think twice about how she asked others
I was asked this question and I have DNR on my files..Try not to let it frighten you too much sweetie, but I am disgusted as the way she spoke to you!
Sedatives can slow the breathing down a lot,this is why your gases went so low.Poor you.They have to ask these questions ,but not in such a horrid way,without explanation to you..Take care Laura x
in reply to
Yeah i know that now about sedatives i just wish my gp had known and my respiratory nurse too because i told her what i had been put on....i had no idea your waste gasses going sky high would have that effect its one of the worse things ive ever been through i couldnt even have a conversation i was so confused and my oxygen was 35 when the ambulance crew checked it they were both gob smacked so i was certainly in no fit state for that question but i wont let that happen again x
in reply to
Its disgusting how it was overlooked! I was in hospital last time and my gases were so low, the opposite to yours.I was so poorly I couldn't put a sentence together..Sedatives help in small doses to stop you over breathing and panicking when you can't get enough air..Doc's think they need to calm every one down when they can't breathe as it helps.This is not always the case,too much and your breathing goes too low..It must have been frightening for you Mandy.i have severe exacerbations at times and I get petrified at not being able to breathe..I must say Mandy , you have lovely red hair! Take care sweetie, here to chat anytime luv Laura xxxx
You must of been terrified I think I would of got out of bed and got home however way I could it really makes you wonder how some people ever end up working in the NHS
I have a nasty niggling memory of information from doctors' surgery stating that they will assume DNR unless told to the contrary. Personally, I think that's worse than being asked!
How can I trust them to remember (or care) that I said I DO want to be resuscitated? 
in reply to qbjb
oh my god thats the worst thing ive heard on here i hope your wrong
qbjb in reply to
I hope I'm wrong too and I will check it out.
Try not to get upset by these unfeeling b*stards - I lost all interest in life because of doctors' attitudes... don't let 'em get to you.
in reply to
one of the things that has shocked me more than anything being ill is how much doctors and other so called professionals dont know....i often wonder if they bought their degree etc online.
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