Typist howlers.: Probably fake, but... - Lung Conditions C...

Lung Conditions Community Forum

55,231 members66,000 posts

Typist howlers.

eightyplus profile image
11 Replies

Probably fake, but some seem quite possible under the circumstances.

Actual writings in Mpumalanga (province in South Africa) Hospital Register

1. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only 11kgs weight gain in the

past three days.

5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last

night.

6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year

7. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

9. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

10. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. She is numb from her toes down.

14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

15. The skin was moist and dry.

16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

22. The patient refused autopsy.

23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities

Written by
eightyplus profile image
eightyplus
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Read more about...
11 Replies

that give me a laugh there eighty ,nice one,:) xxx

jools profile image
jools

Oh Eightyplus that has really cheered me up, made me laugh out loud, thanks :) Julie

Suzy6 profile image
Suzy6

Enjoyed those. Lighthearted way to the end of my day. Nite nite, sleep well.

pergola1 profile image
pergola1

A light moment before I go to bed -- sleep tight. xx

DozyDormouse profile image
DozyDormouse

Had to laugh silently. Sounded like muttley. Shh he's asleep. Dozy :) x

Jacky1950 profile image
Jacky1950

Thanks for the laugh

Offcut profile image
Offcut

:p

Loved it,what a beauty! Thanks for sharing xxx

Oh eightyplus, I laughed so much I ended up having a coughing fit and had to use my inhaler. I THINK it did me good...lol

undine profile image
undine

lovely thank you - had a good laugh and chuckle just what I needed thanks xx

JULIEHUXTABLE1 profile image
JULIEHUXTABLE1

Oh if only I was breathing better today, I would have laughed a lot harder! Thanks, I needed cheering up

You may also like...

What A Birthday I Had !

to have her told what was happening. I told her I thought I had a pneumothorax. Sulkily she agreed...

advice please coping with relative with severe emphysema

steroids. She has seen respiratory team who say she cant have oxygen as she is a retainer. She...

Home oxygen advice needed!

a hairdryer when her oxygen is on, and for now she has to be on it 24/7 while she's recovering. I...

Discussion with pharmacist

but was surprised that someone who has no idea of my medical history could make an assumption that...

Oxygen and100 yard challenge

A little history. My resting oxygen was 95, my Fev1 30%, I stayed at that level for a good couple...