Four idiot jokes! Two are allegedly true!

[huggs]

1. Advice for idiots from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Healthy & Safety Handbook for employees:

"Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes.

2. My neighbour works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field

call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the

branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a

fire downtown?"

3. My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for

"minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

4. Police interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connected it with wires to a

photocopying machine. The message, "he is lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy

button each time they thought the suspect was lying. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect

confessed.

[Hidden]

Loved them,think I could work out which 2 were true,lol! xxx

[huggs in reply to Hidden]

Hi Wendells, I think they could all be true! You can just imagine the scenes. My favourite is number 4. hugs xx

[Hidden]

I think I can too Wendell, brilliant huggs, hugs....lol

[huggs in reply to Hidden]

Hi Poems, I think they are all true. Number 4 gets my vote as funniest, and I can just imagine the scene taking place.! hugs xx

[mustcarryon]

Fantastic. Are they for real?

[huggs in reply to mustcarryon]

Hi mustcarryon, I have been told that two are true, but personally I think they could all be true.! My favourite is number 4.

[Offcut]

There was a program on the TV that showed a criminal saying "You could not have my fingerprints because I was wearing gloves when I broke in" the fact it was being filmed and taped did not faze him.

[huggs in reply to Offcut]

Hi Offcut, That is brilliant! Love it. Sometimes the real ones are the best! hugs xx

[undine]

lol thank you have heard the last before and believe it to be true x

[huggs in reply to undine]

HI undine, pleased you enjoyed it. Do you really think number 4 is true? Its so off the wall, that it could well be. Its my favourite one. hugs xx

[undine in reply to huggs]

Hi Huggs, yes think is true saw two American policemen tell this story on TV - needless to say think it was on an edition of 'America's most stupid crooks' or something xx

[huggs in reply to undine]

Hi undine, hee hee hee. It would have to be America! I can't imagine them getting away with it in this country. Wouldn't it be great if that was all it took to get a confession from a criminal!! I wonder if its posted on you tube or something? I love it anyway, no matter where it comes from. Take care, hugs xx

[helingmic]

the colander worked! it tickled me to a laughter! Thank you!

[huggs in reply to helingmic]

Hi Mick, Yes, that's my favourite one as well. According to undine that one is true. I can just picture the scene in a police interrogation room and some hapless criminal believing it all.! I am still laughing at that one. Take care, hugs xx

[Suzy6]

No not No4 Huggs. The copier developed a paper misfeed and jammed AGAIN. So he is freed.