1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2 In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run -------anywhere.

4. People call at 9p.m. or 9a.m. and ask, " Did I wake you up"?

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now never wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 4pm.

9. You can live without sex, but not without your glasses.

10.You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11.You no longer think of the speed limit as a challenge.

12.You stop trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who comes into the room.

13.You sing along with elevator music.

14.Your eyes won't get much worse.

15.Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16.Your joints are a more accurate weather forecast than the tv ones.

17.Your secrets are safe with your friends, because they can't remember them either.

18.Your supply of brain cells have finally reached a manageable amount.

19.You can't remember who sent you this list.


Never, never, NEVER, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. !!!!!!

19 Replies

  • everyone of those apply to me. take care huggs, xxx

  • Surely not every one! Don't believe it for a minute, Keep well and take care. hugs xxx

  • Love it, now that did make me smile, not so sure about number 9 though !

  • Ha Ha good one! xxx

  • Oh fantastic. I can relate to them all.

  • That was great, reconised a few of those.hehe

  • Thanks for that, I needed to smile and that worked brilliantly.

  • Wonderful you have made my day.

  • ;)

    16: works for me too.

  • Thanks Huggs. Will be sending this to a few contemporaries!

  • Glad you all enjoyed this. You know when something works and people want to send them on! xx

  • Yep, that sounds like me too. xx

  • Can,t handle no.13 but apart from that spot on and hilarious too well done and thanks for the chuckle!D.

  • You are most welcome FarmerD, but come on now. Of course you can handle no.13. I dare you to do it! Think of the general hilarity it would cause and then you could come on here and give us all a laugh! I've not had a great day so it gives me a lift when people like yourself enjoy the jokes. hugs xx

  • I am so pleased that you enjoyed the joke, and thanks so much for letting me know that. If I have not had a great day it gives me a boost when I know that you enjoy the jokes. xxxx hugs

  • Firework hi huggs, very funny and so accurate, I can certainly relate to most of them, thankyou for the laugh, you take good care.

  • Ha Ha Huggs I fit all but will only admit it on here. Not to friends and family. xx

  • HI Suzy, Glad you enjoyed it. That's the good thing about computers we can admit anything we want on here, but don't even mention it to others. It is quite funny though. Hugs xx

  • Glad you liked it firework. Someone ( an alleged friend!) sent it to me so I thought I would share it as it is funny. hugs xx

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