1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2 In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run -------anywhere.
4. People call at 9p.m. or 9a.m. and ask, " Did I wake you up"?
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now never wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4pm.
9. You can live without sex, but not without your glasses.
10.You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11.You no longer think of the speed limit as a challenge.
12.You stop trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who comes into the room.
13.You sing along with elevator music.
14.Your eyes won't get much worse.
15.Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16.Your joints are a more accurate weather forecast than the tv ones.
17.Your secrets are safe with your friends, because they can't remember them either.
18.Your supply of brain cells have finally reached a manageable amount.
19.You can't remember who sent you this list.
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:
Never, never, NEVER, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. !!!!!!