the sailors parcel !!!

just after getting married, a sailor is informed his next naval posting will be on a remote pacific island. A few weeks after arriving, he begins to miss his new wife, and writes to her a letter. "my love" he writes, "we will be apart for a year--far too long, Already im missing you, and theres not really much to do here.Worse still, were constantly surrounded by young , nubile native girls. Do you think if i had a hobby of some kind i would not be tempted?

A few weeks later, a parcel arrives from his wife, containing a harmonica and a note saying "why dont you learn to play this"?

several months later, his tour of duty ends and he rushes back to his wife "Darling", he cries,"I have missed you so much, i cant wait to get you into bed, so that we can make mad passionate love"!

The wife frowns at him,,,,,,,

"First things first", she replies,,,,,,,,,,,,"I want to see you play that ***** harmonica"!!!! :)

32 Replies

  • That's a canny wife xx

  • :) canny husband,, ha ha,, canny play mouth organ:) thanks newlands,,jimmy

  • Oh jimmy you are a one xxx

  • its shocking newlands :) but grandabrian told me to put it on,, [only kidding off course] love jimmy xxx

  • hoho, he's back!

  • hi peeg, cant get rid of me as easy as that:) [still not really out of the woods yet though, but battling]

  • Good un Jimmy. nice to see you back fighting fit I hope,dont overdo it pal.

  • good to here from you bri. wont overdo it,, [just done a 5 mile jog:) ] ,,,,i wish:)

  • Hehe. Nice one Jimmy. :D

    ( I would mention something about playing with " mouth " and " organ " but perhaps I'd better not ! :)

  • i was a coward puff,glad you said it ha ha,,i thought about it ha ha,, good one:)

  • :)

  • nice to see you better jimmy,harmonicas are good for lung people,xxx

  • yes twiceashy, joking apart i was able to play the harmonca, i still have one yet, just an old cheapy, but do try to exercise my lungs when im able to,, but its so annoying when you cant play the whole tune, when you used to be able to!!!,,, i manage very little now,, but i do try, just for the exercise,,i always give it a clean with disinfectant or mouthwash cloth afterwords just in case of infection.,.feeling slightly better, but last few weeks knocked a lot out of me, thanks ts3 hope your well,,jimmy xxx

  • yes im ok,nice to see you up and cheery,i don't play a tune,i cant I just blow it,film on 4,liam neeson ,at 9 oclock 2nite,The Grey,if your interested,wishing you well,xxx

  • might just do that,, i am a bit worn out now, so might just sit back and watch,, all the very best to yourself ts3,, jimmy xxx

  • sit back and enjoy the film,take care jimmy, members are hear all night for a natter,love Twice,xxx

  • Haha very good Jimmy, I had a chuckle with that one! xxx

  • hi huff,, getting there gradually,, thanks jimmy

  • Glad to see you back and in good form


  • thanks silver,, getting there slow but sure,,thanks jimmy

  • Good to hear you sounding a bit more like the Jimmy we know and love.


  • nice to hear from you cof,, and thanks for the lovely post,,jimmy x

  • Harmonica is supposed to be a lung exerciser but sex is more fun

  • ha ha ha,,good link:),,, my goodness think im in trouble now ha ha,,, i actually can, or used to be able to play the mouth organ,, i have a go now and then as physio,breathing exercise, ,, as far as the other,, well,,,,, i can just raise a smile:) [nearly lol ha ha] good one jez,, jimmy

  • He he. Harmonica is brilliant for lungs - makes me cough like hell. Did you play guitar too Jimmy? I 'play' both - very badly! cx

  • hi cof. yes the harmonica can take it out you,[very quickly lol] but good exercise when possible, im afraid i could never get the hang of the guitar,,i just play the one very badly:)


  • "If you become very short of breath during intercourse, try pausing to take some slow, deep breaths from your diaphragm, rather than stopping altogether."

    I trust they mean stopping the activity and not stopping breathing lol!!


  • Hi Jimmy. Still got a great sense of humour I see. After what you've gone through recently and you can still give us a laugh. Haven't been on here for a while so didn't know you were unwell. Doesn't sound like your carer is much of a carer. Didn't even know you were so unwell! Sorry to rant on. Love the joke! Sara xxxx

  • nice to hear from you sara, im rallying round now,, i hope your well yourself.

    its a strange way they have got my carers [almost different one each day, different times also] i think its a private firm that contract to the council, its very often young folks who have no real experience and often just started, not their fault, they are there just there a few minutes then off, not like the ones that were linked to the hospital which i had for 8 weeks.they were top class and could spot anything,, anyway, we just have to make the best of things,, kind regards sara, jimmy xxx

  • Lovely to see you back my friend,& feeling a tad better.

    Loved your joke,keep them up!

    Take care,& make sure you see your Doc.if unwell,Hugs xxxx..

  • Brilliant. So good to hear from you jimmy. Hope you are feeling better. xxxx

  • lol thank you - needed that

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