Sad news: Hi all. I have just got brave... - British Lung Foun...

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Sad news

Mavary
Mavary

Hi all. I have just got brave enough to post on here. I thought I would tell you my sad news that my beloved Husband died on the 28th February. We knew his condition was critical but thought he had a few more months. Sadly it was not to be. His Funeral was two weeks ago. I will miss him forever. X

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90 Replies
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I am so very sorry to hear about the death of your husband. You must miss him tremendously.

Just remember all the many happy times you have had together.

Take one day at a time.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Thérèse xxx

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to Hidden

Thanks Dangirl 1. It is still very hard. X

Awe sweetheart I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your dear Husband. My heart goes out to you - sincere condolences to you and to all your family and friends. I wish you strength whilst you grieve. You must have so many wonderful memories of the times you spent together and no one can take those away from you.

Take care

With love

cx

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to cofdrop-UK

Hi Cofdrop. I am getting there. I just don't know where to go to from here. I have some wonderful memories photos and videos which I will go over one day. X

Hi Mav.So so pleased you have posted,i was wondering how you were coping at this sad time,it's an old adage but time can be a great part of the healing process.I sincerely hope you will keep in touch with us on the forum as your posts were always helpful and informative.I myself am going through a sticky patch at the moment,just finished a two week course of ab,s through I'vs for the bug pseudomonas but I don't think treatment was successful and am awaiting results of sputum test.Hope you keep well.My thoughts are with you.love Bengunn.xxx

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to Bengunn

Hi Begunn. Thanks for your post. I know some of you knew about my Husband but thought I ought to tell the others. Life will never be the same. It can't be. I have to find a new one. I don't know what yet. I'm sorry to hear you have been going through a bad patch. I hope they can sort it for you soon. My Brother in law had a knee replacement and ever since has had a chest infection. Despite three lots of ABs he still has it. They don't seem to work like they used to. Anyway you take care. X

Hello Mavis how lovely to see you glad you felt brave.My heart goes out to you such early days still .With the passing of a little time the pain you feel will lesson and your'll remember the better times that you both shared and enjoyed together.You have lots of experience and Im sure would be a tremendous help for others here when you feel able ?

Really good to see you please dont be a stranger. :) Janexx

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to longlungs

Hi Jane. Nice to hear from you. I'm getting better. Saying that I thought I was brave enough to watch Eastenders last night. It was Nick Cottons Funeral. I ended up in floods of tears and had to turn it off. I phoned the Council Tax people because they have put the wrong name on my letter. The woman I spoke to was awful and had no sympathy whatsoever even though I told her I had just lost my Husband. She was just interested in me paying my Council Tax bill. I asked her how they could assess me when even I don't know what I will get. I've been quite good otherwise. How are you?

longlungs
longlungs
in reply to Mavary

It's strange how our emotions grab us suddenly and when you least expect it sometimes,for no reason in floods of tears.there are no rules when it comes to bereavement we have to live it in our own way and understand others for the way they deal with the same sadness. Life sure ain't easy sometimes for us!

As for twisted knickers council tax person! What can I say there always one smooth talking idiot unfortunately ,such a shame they didn't have their listening ears on properly eh. Not nice for you though all the same.

Me I'm not bad just getting over chest infection ,have my 6min walk for PR on Tuesday so I'm hoping lungs don't let me down and my stupid BP behaves,really wanna get cracking with it my brain needs it if you know what I mean needing a little kick start haha!

Well Mavis your doing just as fine as one can be at this time.its good to talk to you.((( hugs))). :). Janexx

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to longlungs

Thanks Jane. Nice to talk to you as well. I was a bit nervous coming back. I just feel it makes everyone else feel bad. I have to watch my BP as well. It seems to have a will of its own. Always has. As soon as I hit the surgery it goes up. I'm fine most of the time at home. I've just got nearly over a cold that my family gave me. It went straight to my asthma as I expected. I've just got a bit of catarrh now. I may take my paperwork up to the tax office and tell them I wasn't impressed by the way I was spoken to. I will maybe will lay it on as to the state I was in. They have still got the name wrong despite me telling her. Well you take care. Mavis. X

SecondLife
SecondLife
in reply to Mavary

Hi Mavary I was going to send you a message separate until I read all of the comments and came across this one. Firstly I am so very sorry to hear of your news, I can only imagine what you must be going through right now and although it has not happened to me I can empathise with you. Your memories will help you through this and maybe in the future you could write a book about your memories of him and the things you did. On to the second part, something I am fuming about as I used to be a Senior Local Government officer, your local Council must have someone who deals with benefit claims contact them and ask them to sort out your Council tax payments and anything else that may be relevant. The next step is to find out which Officer is in charge of Council Tax and put in a complaint about this person's attitude, I am sure it is not something you wish to do right now but we pay their salary so why should they be allowed to treat us in such a way. I had an unfortunate experience with my local Council when I moved here and spoke to a senior Officer, they now treat me with respect - well to my face anyway. Ok that is my rant over I will go back to my corner now lol.

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to SecondLife

Thanks SecondLife. I couldn't believe the woman I encountered at the Council tax office. The trouble is I was not up to dealing with someone like that. I only rang really to tell her they had the name wrong. I have received another letter since and the name is still wrong. It just goes to show she wasn't even interested in what I was saying. I will be doing something about it. I may even take my son and paperwork up to make a complaint. If I can't do it my son definitely will. Thanks for the rant it has made me stronger. X

Oh, Mavis, my heart goes out to you. Sincere condolences and....there really aren't any words. Time will help eventually. xx

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to Toci

Thanks Toci. It's a different world now. X

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Hi Mavis,lovely to see you back on,brave lady.

I have been thinking of you,it must be so hard,but I know you are a strong lady,

Have you been able to get another car yet? I do hope so.

What an old cow the council worker was,maybe she is going through some hard times too,you never know,but no excuse,not to listen properly.

Take things one day at a time,keep your happy memories,close to your heart,

Big hugs & love Wendells xxx

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to Hidden

Hi Wendells. No I don't have a car yet. It's just taking so long to sort my finances. I don't think it will be long though. I am looking at getting a small car that will tuck in beside other ones as I got ours hit the day before I took it back. Nobody even admitted it. Luckily my son got the marks off. That awful woman will not get away with how she treated me. I will take my Son with me and go up in person. If I can't do it he will. It just goes to show how she listened to me. I have received another letter and the name is still wrong. Well we had a lovely day today and I did a bit of gardening. It was 18 degrees somewhere. It was 16 degrees here. Almost summer for England. Take care. Mavis. X

I am so very sorry for your loss. I know it must be very very hard for you, I hope your pain will ease with time and your happy memories keep you going until you are stronger.

Kim xxxxx

So sorry to hear your sad news Mavary, my thoughts are with you, take care!

Hi Mavary ...my sincere condolences to you an your family ...nothing I can say will help ease the pain but rest assured in time your grief will ease ..think of all the great memories shared ...best wishes Wes xx

My condolences Mavary, words can never express our feelings at such a time but we all share your grief. Let your memories live on and you will never be without your dear husband now or any time in the future.

Allan.

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to eightyplus

Thanks Allan for your kindness. Mavis. X

Mavary my thoughts are with you lost my husband June 2012 you will miss him for ever but it does get easier we were married 47 years big hole to over come. Xxx

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to victoriablue

Hi Victoriablue. So sorry you lost your Husband. It isn't that long ago for you as well and it is like you say a big hole. How have you adapted? I have no idea where to go from here. X

victoriablue
victoriablue
in reply to Mavary

Hi Mavery What can I say everyone is different. It's to early for you to try and adapt at the moment the grief is still to raw. The first year is the hardest as you go over the year before then anniversary of birthdays etc. Have you got a good friend outside the family that can see you from the other side? This helped me going to bed shopping all these things as small as they seem are upsetting the first Xmas I went shopping in Morrisons and broke my heart this time was easier. Sorry if I aren't much help but you take every day as it comes memory's are fine but the remembering at this stage hurts. All my love Rose x

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to victoriablue

Hi Rose. I have found that today. It's a first Mother's Day and although I have had my Children around it has been a very sad day. I felt my Husband should be here. You are a help. I know what I'm feeling is ok. Thanks for your post. X

so sad to hear your news Mavary.

Hang on to the memories of times you shared with each other.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Tom.

So sorry to read about your loss Mavary. Keep your chin up, it does get easier to cope. Take good care of yourself. June Xx

You're a brave lady Mavis....it's not easy is it. As you already know, my husband passed away one week ago today. I know exactly how you're feeling. Sending warm hugs to you. Lyn xxx

so sorry to hear your sad news. You have been very brave to come on this site and let us know, I'm sure it must have been hard for you to put your feelings into words. I hope the messages you get from the kind people here will be of some comfort. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. x.

Hello Mavary I am new on here and I am trying to grasp peoples names. I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved, I don't think we know what its like until it hits us. I can see you have many lovely people on here which will help. Take care. Monica. xx

Sorry to read of your loss Mavary. I am not very good with words but I will be thinking of you and hope each day gets a little bit easier for you/.As for the Council Tax jobsworth don't give her another thought, she is totally heartless. M x

I'm so sorry to hear of your sad loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

God's blessings to you.

xxx

Mavary, I have read all these wonderful messages you have received. So many wise comments. You will be able to read them over and over, as you do so, you start to feel less hurt. Life will be different for you, but it will become bearable. You will never forget your husband but the memories will be a comfort xxxx

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to pergola1

Thank you for your kind words. Life will never be the same. Mavis. X

A belated deepest sympathy to you and your family , He's at rest now and it's always hardest for the ones left behind... God Bless

My thoughts are with you , take care

Dorothy

Dear Mavis, four weeks is a short time for you but it feels an age.

Many of of have been wondering how you're doing any many of us have been through the awful feelings of grief and loss similar to yours. We can't take away your pain but we're here for you.

I do hope you have people close to you who can spend time with you and share the pain and loss. It's one day at a time, one night at a time.

Love, hugs and warm wishes to you. Peeg xxxx

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to peege

Hi Peeg. I am lucky that I have four good Sons. I am not often on my own. I have one son who would have me live with him but I still want my independence. It's not fair to burden them with me. Maybe one day. X

peege
peege
in reply to Mavary

XXXX just take your time Mavis. Thinking of you. This year I didn't weep on my husbands birthday in Feb for the 1st time (I divorced him in 1994 but he was always my best friend and father to our children) xxxxxx

There are so many good people losing their battle with lung disease, I see it on this site, at Pulmonary Rehab, and Fit to breath. To many people who I've met through our shared illnesses and got to know have now gone which is making me realise how important it is to keep myself fit and get back on the transplant list as soon as possible.

I cant begin to imagine how things are for you at this time Mavis as I saw first hand how you loved and worried for your husband and I really feel for you in this sad time, your husband was one of the unlucky ones where the IPF progressed very quickly.

Tony xx

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to dall05

Hi Tony thanks for that. Let's hope you will soon be lucky enough to have the new lungs and feel well again. Mavis. X

Hi Mavary, so sorry to hear of your loss, you have a lot of wonderful friends on here and a lot of good advice for when you need it. Take care

meike
meike
in reply to thomas8

It's so very hard I know just take one day at a time much love x

Sorry to hear the sad news Mavary. Please remember the good times you had together because that's what really matters.

Hidden
Hidden

My thoughts are with you, stay strong, the pain will ease, even though your world's fallen apart. x

Dear Mavis

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my lovely hubby to IPF in November 2012 and I miss him so much. It does get easier with time, you will never forget him, gradually you will think of the happier times. I hope you have the strength to get through this awful time

Joan

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to grahamsgirl

Hi Joan. Thanks for your message. You know how I'm feeling. It's not long for you either. It still doesn't seem real. I think I am going to wake up and it will all be ok. Except you know that isn't going to happen. Take care. Mavis. X

Hi Mavis, Have been thinking of you and your family for the past few weeks, and wondering how you were all coping. So happy to hear from you. Sometimes we need someone to simply be there, not to fix anything or do anything in particular, but just to let us feel we are supported and cared for. And we are all here for you. Take care Nannyb xx

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to nannyb

Thanks Nannyb. Mavis. X

so sorry for you and your families loss god bless marian xx

Hi Mavary I'm so sorry to hear of your husband's passing I don't get much time to visit the site any more or indeed post but just felf I had to respond and offer my condolences. Be kind to your self in the weeks to come

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to nanaber

Thanks Nannabar. I am grateful for your kind thoughts. X

How very sad indeed. I do believe in an afterlife. Not so comforting for those loved ones who stay behind. So sad for you, It's immense a loss!

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to helingmic

Hi Helingmic. I believe we will meet again. X

Hi Mavis, Have thought about you many times, as others have said to you time is a great healer, As I know too well , lost my hubby 1998, no illness just passed away in his sleep, leaving myself and son completely devastated,son was 15, I threw myself into my Job, neither of us could speak of Dad,But slowly Very after the 1st of everything, we started to speak of happy times, now he pops up in so many conversations, still hurts but nice to speak of him with others, brings a warm feeling, Accept invitations from friends and family, they will get you through, early days yet sweet, but you will get there, and we are all here for on here. if ever you want a pm just pop on mine any time,.Xxx

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to junespoon

Hi Junespoon. Thanks for that. I may well take you up on that. We are talking about my Husband my Sons and I. It just doesn't seem real that he's gone. X

There are no words to make you feel better, just take one day at a time for his sake. You were both so lucky to have found each other. love to you x

Hi Mavary, so sorry to hear your sad news, but may all your beautiful memories always bring a a smile on your face and a hug to your heart. Take care love Bernadette xx

Hi Mavary, so sorry to hear your news, you are being very brave to post it on here. Love and hugs to you. Take care, Lizzy.

So sorry Mavery. It was a long hard battle for you both. So many emotions. So much heartache. My prayers are with you and with him. Take care, and lean on others for strength when you can. Sara xx

Dear Mavary I am sorry to hear your sad news, it is the hardest loss in life to lose your husband or a child. As a Widow myself I feel for you in these early days, nothing can replace your hubby. As others have said cherish the good memories in these early days, they will help you through the sadder days to come. And we your friends are here for you my heart goes out to you xx

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to katieoxo60

Thank you Katieoxo. X

Hidden
Hidden

so sad to hear your news. Tough time for you. Hope you are getting support. x

Hi mavary

I have just joined the site..i am very sorry for your loss of your husband...may he Rest In Peace x

Oh Mavis, I,m so very very sorry to hear your news, you have been truly brave to come & tell us all so soon, I know it,s of little help but I shall keep you in my thoughts & prayers, & as you know, everyone is here whenever you need to just talk,

Take care of you now cariad

Karen xxxx

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to sillywitch

Hi Karen. Thanks for that. X

My thoughts are with you at this difficult time it must be very hard for you ((((hugs)))). I'm sure you will still have many happy memories

Jo xxx

So sorry to hear about your husbands death. It will be a sad loss for you and your family. Remembering all the good times you had together may help you in the future.

Best Regards

Keith

i am so sorry to hear of your loss, thinking of you and your family

God Bless

love jan

I'm so sorry to hear about his death keep strong and try to carry on

Such sad news.

I'm so sorry to hear it.

Please take care of yourself.

Hi Mavary, I never know what to say at times like this, but I am so sorry to hear your sad news. My condolence's to you and your family. Time is a great healer. You must continue to be brave, take care. Cheryl xx

Hi All I'd just like to say. Many thanks for your very kind messages. There are so many I can't reply to you all. I very much appreciate the fact that you took the time to message me. Once again many thanks. X

So sorry to see this Mavis, am useless with words at times like this so will send some big hugs instead. Don't be shy about posting here when you feel the need, anything at all you need to say, we all care and understand. Libby xxx

Hidden
Hidden

I am so sad and so sorry for you. Wishing you the very best TAD xx

Very sorry to hear of your loss, he will always be in your heart and soul. never forgotten always loved

Paul x

Hi Mavary, so sorry to hear your sad news. Your concern for your husband was evident in your postings on this site. I wish you strength and hope for the future.

Kind Regards

Mandy

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to BugsBunny

Thanks Mandy. I have had so many caring messages. X

Hi Mavary,

So sorry to hear about your husband my heart is with you. I pray for you to have strength and to be brave. Remember he will always be with you.

Thank you. X

Oh Mavary I am just so sad to hear your news

*BIG HUG* I am thinking of you

Love Sohara

Yes you will miss him for a long time Mavary but the rawness will dull Fifty odd years together you probably feel you have lost your right arm. Take it steady. He must have been a wonderful man and your caring was obvious in your posts. Everytime I see your name I remember your post about taking him to Weymouth not long ago. I bet he enjoyed that day. In my thoughts. xx

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to Suzy6

Hi Suzy 6. We went to Weymouth on the Saturday and he died on the following Friday. Unbelievable isn't it. He had not long been out of Hospital after having intravenous steroids. They told us then he was critical. I think the steroids gave him such a boost he really wanted to go out. I'm so glad I took him. I had it in my mind what was going to happen when the steroids wore off. We went to a garden centre on the Monday as well. The weather wasn't that good at the time or we probably would have gone out more. He really went down the afternoon he died. Anyway how are you? Mavis. X

Oh Mavary, there are no words I can say. I only hope your memories of such a lovely husband will sustain you through these difficult times. Sending prayers and hugs. xx

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to poemsgalore1

Thank you Poemsgalore. It's very hard at the moment. I take every day as it comes. X

So very sorry for your news. I lost my darling husband in September and yes i thought he would have a little more time. My advice is that if he was as ill as my husband he at least is now at peace as at the end there was a succession of district and resp nurses and he lost all his dignity....he was on oxygen 24/7. You will get there, but cry when you need to and try and share how you feel with your friends and family. Take care, and my thoughts are with you, and yes you will miss him forever. X

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to maincarer

Hi Maincarer. We were told a year at first then when he went into Hospital three or four weeks before he died they said he was critical. I still thought maybe a couple of more months. They said his lungs were closing in. I started pushing him round the house then but as long as he was sitting he said he didn't feel too bad. I think the day he died his lungs closed right in just leaving a little bit at the top. His breathing was really bad for about four hours. So it was quite quick. His heart gave out in the end. I'm so glad he wasn't that bad for too long. It's an awful thing to have on your mind. I was with him and glad I was. You must be feeling pretty much like I am. It's still not long for you. Are you coping ok.

Sorry to hear of you loss. I hope you have lots of support! Love Mary

Mavary
Mavary
in reply to Mrynelson

Thanks Myrnelson. X

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