lawyers should never ask a mississippi grandma a question if they arent prepared for the answer,,,,,,,,,,

[jimmyw123]

in a trial , a southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand, he approached her and asked,"mrs jones do you know me?" she responded, "why yes i do know you mr williams, ive known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you have been a big disappointment to me, you lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk behind their backs, you think your a big shot when you havent the brains to realize you,ll never amount to anything more than a two bit paper pusher,,,, yes i know you."

the lawyer was stunned, not knowing what else to do, he pointed

across the room and asked, "mrs jones, do you know the defense

attorney?"

she again replied " why yes i do, ive known mr bradley since he was a youngster,too, he,s lazy, bigoted and has a drink problem, he cant have a normal relationship with anyone, his law practices are one of the worst in the entire state, not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different woman, one of them was your wife, ,,,yes i know him"

the defense attorney nearly died!!!

the judge asked both attorney,s to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice said,,,

"if either of you idiots asks her, if she knows me, i,ll send you both to the electric chair"

[Hidden]

funniest joke I have heard for ages.

[jimmyw123]

oops your still up glad you had a laugh coughalot,,,

have a good night,,regards,, jimmy

[qbjb]

Brilliant!

Jude

[jimmyw123 in reply to qbjb]

lad you enjoyed it qbjb,,:),,,jimmy

[Mocarey]

Absolutely brillliant. Is that your garden in the picture, it's lovely! M x

[jimmyw123 in reply to Mocarey]

again glad you had a laugh,, yes, this was my garden last year,,done with a trowel,, on my hands and knees lol [not the hanging baskets had to stand for these ,, only joking,but true :).. thanks mocary,, regards jimmy xx

[ptliverpool]

Beautiful garden, Fab joke thanks for both PTxx

[jimmyw123 in reply to ptliverpool]

thanks ptliverpool, thoughti would leave a taste of summer,, to come,, hopefully:), glad you had a laugh,, regards ,,jimmy xx

[Hidden]

What a ripper! Loved it Jimmy.Is that your garden,I loved the colours,looks a great place to relax in( Sorry Mocarey,you asked first!) xxx

[jimmyw123 in reply to Hidden]

hi wendel, my friend, yes my garden,, a taste of summer:), glad you liked the joke, it took me about an hour to print it with one finger ha ha:).... have a good weekend,, jimmy xxx

[mustcarryon]

Brilliant

[jimmyw123 in reply to mustcarryon]

yes mustcarryon [like the name :)] glad you liked it,, regards jimmy

[mustcarryon in reply to jimmyw123]

Just keep rolling them in please jimmy.

[jimmyw123 in reply to mustcarryon]

will try mustcarryon :),,,,,,but must carry on at the moment lol :),,,,keep well and keep smiling now,, jimmy

[tatteka]

I wonder what life would be like if we were all as honest as that lady.

[jimmyw123 in reply to tatteka]

probably a lot better,, nice to have a laugh though,, best regards,, jimmy

[Tamara70]

Really good!

Love the garden! You can take over my garden any time!

Stay well

Tamara

[jimmyw123 in reply to Tamara70]

thanks tamara,, should see it now ,,,a mess, however i,ll give it another bash this year,i,ll do it bit by bit,, ,,,as far as taking over yours ha ha,,well maybe after ive done mine lol thanks tamara,, regards jimmy

[scrobbitty]

Brilliant joke xx

Love the garden - is that Mr Laurel and Mr Hardy at the bottom?

[jimmyw123 in reply to scrobbitty]

hi scrobs, hope your keeping ok,, yes thats my old mates stan and ollie, the never argue, never a wrong word they just stand there smiling :),,,, [they could be doing with a make over now, been there a few years :)] best regards,,jimmmy xx

[scrobbitty in reply to jimmyw123]

LOL - I reckon we could all do with a make over Jimmy - I studiously ignore any mirrors in the house at the moment, my recent virus has taken it's toll hahahaha - oh well can't be helped! Starting to mend now thankfully xx

[jimmyw123 in reply to scrobbitty]

hi scrob,, thank goodness your on the mend now, yes, it takes its toll,,,,,,i dont even look at mirrors just in case they break lol:),, as long as your feeling a wee bitty better , thats the main thing, lets hope you carry on mending:),, best regards jimmy xx

[casper99]

Loved the joke Jimmy and I love your garden, it's so neat. You've definately got green fingers. x

[jimmyw123 in reply to casper99]

thanks casper,aye its good to have a chuckle i thought i would bring a bit summer in, with the photo, brighten ourselves up, dont know about green fingers,,,,mostly sore fingers at the moment :),,, jimmy xx

[rambi]

Loved the garden, great joke, thanks for making me smile x

[jimmyw123 in reply to rambi]

hi rambi,, nice to have a wee smile at times:), lovely,,, jimmy xx

[jimmyw123 in reply to rambi]

hi rambi,, yes its nice to get a laugh now and then

glad you enjoyed it,,,,jimmy xx

[SophiaG]

Green fingered comedian thank you for sharing both gifts.

[jimmyw123 in reply to SophiaG]

ha ha,, green fingered comedian ,, like it

och its nice to "avalaugh" at times thanks for the lovely post sophia,,,jimmy xxx

[Hidden]

That was the best I have heard for a wil need my pump

[jimmyw123 in reply to Hidden]

hi david,, glad you liked it all the very best,,jimmy

[jimmyw123 in reply to Hidden]

yes david,, and printed with one finger lol glad you enjoyed it:),,jimmy

[coastal1]

Garden fantastic. Looks like a perfect pottering haven. Am trying to nurse ours back to some kind of health and wellbeing .Most of the plants and shrubs haven't taken kindly to a winter of lashings of seawater and 80 m.p.h winds. I think they have been wimps. !!

This one finger typing is quite a skill . Managed this in 20 minutes !

[jimmyw123]

hi coastal, i take it you stay on the coast, yes it would take a battering ok, mines is in in a real mess now, although i am a lot worse healthwise, i will try my best to get it in to some sort of shape,[think its me thats the wimp lol:),, , your like me,, "one finger jimmy :)",, takes me ages,, but get there in the end,,,,,,i might have just beaten your record of 20 mins ,,,,,,i took about 19 mins lol.... all the very best now,,,jimmy

[coastal1]

Ave you ever seen a one leafed holly bush ! Think I might enter it in a competition !

[jimmyw123 in reply to coastal1]

:)....it might grow a bit yet,,,,,,,,,,,,,maybe

[undine]

lol excellent thank you Jimmy xx

[jimmyw123 in reply to undine]

thank you undine, i hope your keeping well, all the very best,, kind regards ,,,jimmy

[tomc]

Ha Jimmy, that sounds more like real life than you probably intended. BRIILIANT.

Hope you feeling better Jimmy.

Tom.

[jimmyw123 in reply to tomc]

yes tomc,, it really does!!!,, maybe it is true glad you enjoyed it,,, yes i feel much better now,, hope your the same ,,,jimmy

[Puffpuff678]

Your garden looks amazing,beauiful colours,and you have made me laugh.xx

[jimmyw123 in reply to Puffpuff678]

hope your feeliing better now puffpuff,,at least you had a laugh:), jimmy xx

[jimmyw123 in reply to Puffpuff678]

hi puffpuff, the garden doesnt look so good now, but at least the pic. reminds us of summer,, soon i hope anyway glad you had a laugh,,, jimmy xx

[longlungs]

Oh Jimmy that was brilliant just what the doctor ordered very much needed my friend. Thank-you Janexx

[jimmyw123]

hiya jane, glad this brought a wee smile for you, and hope your feeling more yourself now,,, "just what the doctor ordered :)",, all the very best now, you seem more yourself now, im really glad to hear that,,,and thanks jane,:),,, jimmy xx

[misslolapots123]

How true and I love it.Lola.

[jimmyw123 in reply to misslolapots123]

glad you liked it lola,, keep smiling:),,jimmy xx