British Lung Foundation

lawyers should never ask a mississippi grandma a question if they

arent prepared for the answer,,,,,,,,,,

lawyers should never ask a mississippi grandma a question if they 
arent  prepared for the  answer,,,,,,,,,,

in a trial , a southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand, he approached her and asked,"mrs jones do you know me?" she responded, "why yes i do know you mr williams, ive known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you have been a big disappointment to me, you lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk behind their backs, you think your a big shot when you havent the brains to realize you,ll never amount to anything more than a two bit paper pusher,,,, yes i know you."

the lawyer was stunned, not knowing what else to do, he pointed

across the room and asked, "mrs jones, do you know the defense

attorney?"

she again replied " why yes i do, ive known mr bradley since he was a youngster,too, he,s lazy, bigoted and has a drink problem, he cant have a normal relationship with anyone, his law practices are one of the worst in the entire state, not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different woman, one of them was your wife, ,,,yes i know him"

the defense attorney nearly died!!!

the judge asked both attorney,s to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice said,,,

"if either of you idiots asks her, if she knows me, i,ll send you both to the electric chair" :) :) :)

47 Replies
oldestnewest

:) :) :) funniest joke I have heard for ages.

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oops your still up :) glad you had a laugh coughalot,,,:) :)

have a good night,,regards,, jimmy :)

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Brilliant!

Jude

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lad you enjoyed it qbjb,,:),,,jimmy

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Absolutely brillliant. Is that your garden in the picture, it's lovely! M x

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again glad you had a laugh,, yes, this was my garden last year,,done with a trowel,, on my hands and knees lol [not the hanging baskets:) had to stand for these :) ,, only joking,but true :).. thanks mocary,, regards jimmy:) xx

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Beautiful garden, Fab joke thanks for both PTxx

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thanks ptliverpool, thoughti would leave a taste of summer,, to come,, hopefully:), glad you had a laugh,, regards ,,jimmy xx

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What a ripper! Loved it Jimmy.Is that your garden,I loved the colours,looks a great place to relax in( Sorry Mocarey,you asked first!) xxx

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hi wendel, my friend, yes my garden,, a taste of summer:), glad you liked the joke, it took me about an hour to print it with one finger ha ha:).... have a good weekend,, jimmy xxx

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Brilliant

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yes mustcarryon [like the name :)] glad you liked it,, regards jimmy

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Just keep rolling them in please jimmy.

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:) will try mustcarryon :),,,,,,but must carry on at the moment lol:) :),,,,keep well and keep smiling now,, jimmy

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I wonder what life would be like if we were all as honest as that lady.

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:) :) probably a lot better,, nice to have a laugh though,, best regards,, jimmy

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Really good!

Love the garden! You can take over my garden any time!

Stay well

Tamara

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thanks tamara,, should see it now:) ,,,a mess, however i,ll give it another bash this year,i,ll do it bit by bit,, :) ,,,as far as taking over yours ha ha,,well maybe after ive done mine lol:) thanks tamara,, regards jimmy

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Brilliant joke :D xx

Love the garden - is that Mr Laurel and Mr Hardy at the bottom?

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hi scrobs, hope your keeping ok,, yes thats my old mates :) stan and ollie, the never argue, never a wrong word :) they just stand there smiling :),,,, [they could be doing with a make over now, been there a few years :)] best regards,,jimmmy xx

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LOL - I reckon we could all do with a make over Jimmy - I studiously ignore any mirrors in the house at the moment, my recent virus has taken it's toll hahahaha - oh well can't be helped! Starting to mend now thankfully :) xx

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hi scrob,, thank goodness your on the mend now, yes, it takes its toll,,,,,,i dont even look at mirrors :) just in case they break lol:),, as long as your feeling a wee bitty better , thats the main thing, lets hope you carry on mending:),, best regards jimmy xx

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Loved the joke Jimmy and I love your garden, it's so neat. You've definately got green fingers. x

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thanks casper,aye its good to have a chuckle :) i thought i would bring a bit summer in, with the photo, brighten ourselves up,:) dont know about green fingers,,,,mostly sore fingers at the moment :),,, jimmy xx

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Loved the garden, great joke, thanks for making me smile x

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hi rambi,, nice to have a wee smile at times:), lovely,,, jimmy xx

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hi rambi,, yes its nice to get a laugh now and then:)

glad you enjoyed it,,,,jimmy xx

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Green fingered comedian thank you for sharing both gifts.

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ha ha,, green fingered comedian ,, like it:)

och its nice to "avalaugh" at times :) thanks for the lovely post sophia,,,jimmy xxx

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That was the best I have heard for a wil need my pump

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hi david,, glad you liked it:) all the very best,,jimmy

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yes david,, and printed with one finger lol:) :) glad you enjoyed it:),,jimmy

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Garden fantastic. Looks like a perfect pottering haven. Am trying to nurse ours back to some kind of health and wellbeing .Most of the plants and shrubs haven't taken kindly to a winter of lashings of seawater and 80 m.p.h winds. I think they have been wimps. !!

This one finger typing is quite a skill . Managed this in 20 minutes !

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hi coastal, i take it you stay on the coast, yes it would take a battering ok, mines is in in a real mess now, although i am a lot worse healthwise, i will try my best to get it in to some sort of shape,[think its me thats the wimp lol:),, , your like me,, "one finger jimmy :)",, takes me ages,, but get there in the end,,,,,,i might have just beaten your record of 20 mins:) ,,,,,,i took about 19 mins :) :) lol.... all the very best now,,,jimmy

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Ave you ever seen a one leafed holly bush ! Think I might enter it in a competition !

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:) :)....it might grow a bit yet,,,,,,,,,,,,,maybe:)

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lol excellent thank you Jimmy xx

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thank you undine, i hope your keeping well, all the very best,, kind regards ,,,jimmy

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Ha Jimmy, that sounds more like real life than you probably intended. BRIILIANT.

Hope you feeling better Jimmy.

Tom.

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yes tomc,, it really does!!!,, maybe it is true:) glad you enjoyed it,,, yes i feel much better now,, hope your the same ,,,jimmy

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Your garden looks amazing,beauiful colours,and you have made me laugh.xx

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hope your feeliing better now puffpuff,,at least you had a laugh:), jimmy xx

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hi puffpuff, the garden doesnt look so good now,:) but at least the pic. reminds us of summer,, soon i hope:) anyway glad you had a laugh,,, jimmy xx

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Oh Jimmy that was brilliant just what the doctor ordered very much needed my friend. Thank-you :) Janexx

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hiya jane, glad this brought a wee smile for you,:) and hope your feeling more yourself now,,, "just what the doctor ordered:( :)",, all the very best now, you seem more yourself now, im really glad to hear that,,,and thanks jane,:),,, jimmy xx

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How true and I love it.Lola.

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glad you liked it lola,, keep smiling:),,jimmy xx

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