ExPat coming home?

I am seriously considering coming back to Yorkshire. I don't have any real friends here or family, just my husband and I. Frankly since I have been diagnosed, our relationship has gone quickly downhill. He is wallowing in self pity, even talking about quitting work!! If I try to talk to him he gets violently angry and tells me to shut up as he is sick of being settle fiddle all his life, blimey, if being settle fiddle means having absolutely everything done for you, even cutting your bloody hair, I would trade places in an instant. I am still working full time, and don't feel too bad, but the thought of being dependent on him in a lonely country is starting to scare me. Anyway, enough of the self pity, back to my question, weather, do the winters have a serious effect on us, I have good weather here, as you are probably aware, apart from the humidity which sometimes makes me a little breathless do you think I would deteriorate quickly back in blighty. Also anyone on here from Leeds, what is the medical care like, Jimmys used to be a wonderful hospital, but not heard many good reports lately, But in the end really does it matter, live longer and be unhappy, or live shorter and be happy, maybe I have just answered my own question......

11 Replies

  • i live in yorkshire is beautiful place ,i live in bawtry near doncaster, you welcome to yorkshire lovex

  • So sorry your hubby is not being supportive kad. Do you think maybe he is actually worried about you and can't talk about it.

    If not sweetheart you get yourself home to family that loves you . You need that! M x

  • Kad, I would seriously consider any change that could improve your life. By the fact you are talking to us, means that you are wanting to make a decision which only you can make. I have lived in Royston since1968. At one time, I wouldn't have gone anywhere, but we are awaiting a removal date now, to go South.. It seems the very right thing to do, to be near daughter.

    It sounds as if you are living abroad. Will husband come too? You will have a change in climate, but we all have our coping mechanisms. I am sure you will have the backing and good wishes of this group.

    Anyway, do what will give you peace of mind. All the best - Pergola x

  • Dear kad. What a lot to have bear at the moment. Health issues. Marital issues & homesickness.

    What about having a break in your marriage. Firstly over there. See how you like life there if you are on your own. There you have good weather & a job. Also the break may let you assess if you prefer life as a single woman. Then you can work out where you want to live permanently

  • What a difficult situation for you. We are near Leeds - the health service has been fantastic and the respiratory team great. BUT the weather really affects my husband and the cold weather just floors him. So you need to visit in the cold and perhaps that would make it easier for you. Could you come back to England for the summer? It must be very lonely for you. I am sorry that it is so hard. Ultimately you have to make the deicison that will make you happy - Good Luck xxx

  • I am wondering if you are talking returning to uk and leaving husband or sounding folk out before suggesting move to husband.

    If husband says no to move will you move without him.

    Climate wise I wouldn't choose uk north but then my family is scattered around uk and abroad.

    Perhaps make a list of the pros and cons. Perhaps you have already answered your own question.

  • So sorry to hear of all your troubles. Good choice to come back to God's own county (do I sound a little biased!) I live in Leeds, so in a cyber way there would be someone you know. You don't say what your lung condition is Kad.

    Wish you well.

    love cx

  • It was quite humid here last summer, which effected me with c.o.p.d. and in the winter it is the damp and cold weather, but it would be good to have family around you again, and we have the N.H.S. If I were you I'd come home!

  • Hi Kad, Sorry to hear about your predicament. Keep talking to us we are all here to help each other. I would not like to comment on your marital situation but I do think that your husband should stand back and take a long look at the full picture. I originate from Rothwell Leeds when I was there I was always sick with chest complaints from an early age. Always in the winter. This is one of the reasons I have never gone back there to live. I can't give you any info as I have not lived there for many years. I live in Thailand and would not live anywhere else the weather here is good to me. Best of luck. Dave.

  • Stress is not a good thing for your condition Kad. No one has to stay in a violent relationship. Do you have children?

    You are right to be thinking about changing your situation. In my experience you cannot change a person, you can only change the way you deal with them.

    I wish you well. xx P

  • Home is where the hart is Yorkshire is a beautiful place so I believe we have the NHS cold winters but England is not a bad place.

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