:Jokes of the Day:

Senior Citizen Funny Senior Moments

Once I made chicken soup - simmered the carcass for hours with lots of vegetables. Then, when it was all nice and tasty I grabbed a colander and poured all the liquid down the sink. I just stood there for about 5 minutes, staring at the bones trying to remember what the next step in soup-making was.

I recently went to a gas station near my apartment with the intention of buying gas. It was a rare occasion, as I actually had cash (I normally pay for everything on debit). I walked up to the station and gave the man£10. I then proceeded to walk back to my car, get inside, and drive away. It was about five minutes later, on the highway, that I realized that I hadn't actually pumped any gas. I was too ashamed to go back.

I once forgot to take out my contacts before going to bed. I woke up, put on my glasses as usual, and freaked...out, because everything was blurry. Tried cleaning my glasses, nothing would help. Spent about 5 minutes freaking out, thinking I was going blind or something

The pipe underneath the sink was leaking so I had placed a bucket to catch all the water. When the bucket was getting full, I emptied it out on the same sink

'll be talking on my cell, and by habit, I pat my pockets to make sure I have my wallet, keys, and cell in their respective places. So yes, while talking on the phone I start freaking out because I can't find my phone.

I opened the door to my apartment building and then got to my front door and realized that I didn't have my keys. I panicked and retraced my footsteps over the previous two miles (including going to numerous stores and asking if anyone had handed in any keys) before giving up and returning home. When I got there I found my keys hanging from the front door of my apartment building. It never occurred to me that I must have used my keys to get into the building in the first place.

I was watching TV but felt like a drink, so I got up and walked with the remote to the fridge. I looked in the fridge and saw a bottle of milk that I wanted so I placed the remote in the fridge, closed the door, and walked back to the television. When I got back in the living room I had the feeling something was off, and remembered I didn't drink any milk yet. So I turn around, open the fridge, took a big sip of milk straight from the bottle, and place the bottle back next to the remote. Half an hour later the show's over and I want to change the channel but I can't find my remote. I looked under all the cushions of the couch and chairs, I scoured through every last inch of the living room before giving up and switching channels manually.

left work (big huge downtown city), and took the train home for a much needed weekend. Got to my stop, and discovered I had driven. Had to catch another train back to work, get car, drive home. Entire transit time went from 30 minutes to 3 hours and 30 min. Duh.

Funny Tale of a Lost Senior Citizen Funny Senior Moments

When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out. I stopped and asked him what was wrong.

He told me, 'I have a 22 year old wife at home. She rubs my back every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.'

I continued, 'Well, then why are you crying?'

He added, 'She makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favourite biscuits, cleans the house and then watches sports TV with me for the rest of the afternoon.'

I said, 'Well, why are you crying?'

He said, 'For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favourite dessert and then we cuddle until the small hours.'

I inquired, 'Well then, why in the world would you be crying?'

He replied, 'I can't remember where I live.'

13 Replies

  • Thanks for starting my day with a good laugh. I am forever wandering round the house wondering what I'm looking for. You have to laugh at old age though.

  • Oh Berwick. Where do you get them from? Very funny. I think we have all done silly things with the remote.

  • Loved them as usual,good ones! xx

  • All too familiar, berwick! Thank you for the laughs. Alison :-)

  • Loved them berwick. And yes, all too familiar! My greatest bugbear is looking frantically for my glasses when they are still stuck on my head. Still gives lots of laugh to those around me who stay quietly smirking while I Iose it! Silly kids! Regards Sara

  • Thanks Berwick. The older I get the more I do things just like that, much to my families amusement xxx

  • Hahahahahaha. Oh berwick, I'm crying with laughing. I thought I was the only one that did things like this so regularily and it's not an age thing because mine started when I was in my 30's.

    I once went shopping in the co -op , which was right in the middle of the town centre. I put a bag of sugar in my basket and after roaming around in there for a bit, decided I couldn't find anything else I wanted so went back into the centre. Later, I was trotting through the town and noticed people giving me strange looks. I still had the basket on my arm with the bag of sugar in it. I'd forgot to put them back. I felt absolutely stupid taking it back.

    I got a trolley full of shopping and tried to pay with my gas card, my bank card was sat on the shelf at home and I had to get a taxi to go get.

    I spent ages scouring the house looking for my glasses, until my nephew pointed out they were on my head. !!!

    I cleaned my teeth with excema cream.

    Last week, I asked the dentist to file my fang tooth down a bit because it was a false one,because I looked like dracula. He looked at me like I just got out of the asylum and told me he can't do that because the tooth is my own. What a fool I felt.

    Two months ago, my brother had stripped the bathroom and disconnected the pipes. I got a bath, let the water out and the kitchen ceiling came down.

    I've gone to appointments a week early, got on the wrong buses, left things I've bought at the counter, left my cards in machines.

    That's just the bloomers I can recall off the top of my head.

    I don't know about you but my mind is never on the task at hand, instead of what I'm doing at the time. I get so mad with myself about it. My son is in his 30's and is now exactly the same. When we go shopping together, we are a disaster. Lol.

    Thanks for the laugh, I haven't laughed like that for ages and if you can think of any more, please let us know. xxx

  • Thank you Berwick, my most common one is my phone - I have to use my mobile to phone myself up and find out where the cordless has been left! I wish I had a beeper on my specs. then I could find them as well.

  • They were funny Berwick, it's amazing what silly things we do do in what we call senior moments.

  • Typical,lol! I put a cup of tea in the microwave went back to the lounge and wondered what I had done with the cup! I was about to take a new cup when I noticed the microwave door was close, as I usually leave it open. Open sesame, behold cup of tea!.

    cheers, Berwick. What did you say your name was :-)

  • LOL very good - my best was a few years ago when I was younger (duh) i had just moved home and so had my mother - I tried phoning her all evening but just kept getting the engaged tone - eventually worried that something was wrong her end I called the operator to ask them to listen in on the line to make sure Mum was actually in conversation and the phone not just off the hook for some reason - she asked for the number which I gave her - ever been embaressed? turns out i had been phoning my own new number all the time and of course it was engaged - sure the operator had a good laugh about it later. (and I was not even very old then - what hope now eh?)

  • No hope I'm sorry to say undine!

  • So glad other people own these too. I love the one about the pipe disconnected under the sink. Have I done that? Of course I have. I wonder who has all the wisdom the old are supposed to have?

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