British Lung Foundation

Joke of the day

Her First Date

I hope you're sitting down when you read it.

This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had.

The winner described her worst first date experience.

There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter...snowing and quite cold... And the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outsideSalt Lake City, Utah.

It was a day trip (no overnight).

They were strangers, after all, and had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful, until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte!! They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere!

Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal..

It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem,

Due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humour of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about 'what is taking so long?' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off'

And in need of some assistance!

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.

Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment... 'This gives a whole new meaning

To being p..... Off.'

Oh and how did the first date turn out?

He became her husband

Remember: If you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart,

Then you are just a sour old fart!

24 Replies

Hahahaha. That's a good un.


Very good, and so early in the morning.


That made me smile...thanks


Just wonderful - thank you!!


Wonderful joke Berwick. Have a good day. Mandy.


Excellent Berwick, I will just hold it in nasty things Ice Burns. Matt


I think she deserved to win that. I don't think anyone else could compete with that story. X


oh that mad me laugh .needed one as well after rough night . keep on breathing


Loved it Berwick, thank you x


That was soo funny! xxx


Good one, Berwick, thanks


Yuk...... and so funny! :)


Love it. But pretty awful all the same. xx


Great way to start the day ha ha ha


I suppose the answer to the question how did your date go it would be I was pxxxxd off well done berwick


Bloody brilliant really made me smile. Thanks Berwick. :) Janexx


I must remember that next time I go skiing!


Very, very funny. Just the kind of tale to make my day ! Thanks !


Thanks for cheering me up


Great joke Berwick, (not one on the whole I'd recommend to get a husband though!)


he (((icy))) (((I see))) hehehe!


loved it thank you xx


good one


Thank you berwick. That has taken my mind off the wind and rain. Alison


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