British Lung Foundation

How do court recorders keep straight faces?

The following are from a book called, disorder in the American Courts.

Attorney, what was the first thing your husband said to you this morning?

Witness, He said "where am I Cathy"?

Attorney, and why did that upset you?

Witness, My name is Susan!


Attorney, what gear where you in at the moment of impact?

Witness, Gucci sweats and reeboks!


Attorney, Are you sexually active?

Witness, No I just lie there!


Attorney, what is your date of birth?

Witness, July 18th!

Attorney, What year?

Witness, Every year!


Attorney, how old is the son that lives with you

Witness, thirty eight or thirty five, I can't remember!

Attorney, how long has this son lived with you?

Witness, Forty five years!


Attorney, the youngest son the twenty year old, How old is he?

Witness, he's 20, much like your IQ!


Attorney, how was your first marriage terminated?

Witness, by death!

Attorney, and by who's death was it terminated?

Witness, Take a guess.


And last

Attorney, doctor before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

Witness, no!

Attorney, did you check for blood pressure ?

Witness, no!

Attorney, did you check for breathing?

Witness, no!

Attorney, so it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

Witness, no!

Attorney, how can you be sure doctor?

Witness because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar!

Attorney, I see, but could the patient still be alive nevertheless?

Witness, Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

8 Replies

That made me laugh sooo much it made me cough so thanks for that steamtrain. X

1 like

I really liked them, lets have more. :-)

polly xx


Lovely, that tickled my funny bone. :) :)


Very funny we want more like that lol


Really great


That was so good to have a laugh. X


Love 'em, more please. x


great stuff steamtrain,,,,laughing yet lol


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