Joke!

Subject: BRAINS OF BRITAIN

BRAINS OF BRITAIN

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

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Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?

Contestant: Homosexuals.

Jeremy Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be

very upset with you

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

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Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?

Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.

Jamie Theakston: There's a clue in the title.

Contestant: Leicester

BBC NORFOLK

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Stewart White:

Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?

Contestant: I don't know.

Stewart White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part

between your hand and your elbow?

Contestant: Arm

Stewart White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?

Contestant: Strong.

Stewart White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?

Contestant: Louis

Stewart White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with

the song What A Wonderful World?

Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )

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Alex Trelinski:What is the capital of Italy ?

Contestant: France.

Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.

Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.

Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is

the Parthenon?

Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.

Trelinski: Just guess a country then.

Contestant: Paris.

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

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Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all

written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the

Conservative Party?

Contestant: The Conservative Party.

BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )

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DJ Mark: For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?

Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE

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Bamber Gascoyne: What was Gandhi's first name?

Contestant: Goosey?

GWR FM ( Bristol )

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Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?

Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO ( MANCHESTER )

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Phil: What's 11 squared?

Contestant: I don't know.

Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.

Contestant: Is it five?

RICHARD AND JUDY

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Richard: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?

Contestant: Forrest Gump.

RICHARD AND JUDY

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Richard: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?

Contestant: Er. ... ..

Richard: He makes bread . . .

Contestant: Er .. .....

Richard: He makes cakes . . .

Contestant: Kipling Street?

LINCS FM PHONE-IN

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Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant: Barcelona.

Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

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Question: What is the world's largest continent?

Contestant: The Pacific.

ROCK FM ( PRESTON )

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Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a

famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.

Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)

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Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

Contestant: Magna Carta?

JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)

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James O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?

Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ...

Three?

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )

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Chris Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna ?

Caller: Japan.

Chris Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't

hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller: Er ........ Mexico ?

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )

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Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant (long pause): Fourteen days.

DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)

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Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant: Holland?

Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.

Contestant: Iceland? Ireland ?

Daryl Denham: (helpfully) It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?

Contestant: No.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)

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Phil Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?

Contestant: Er... .... ..

Phil Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . .

Contestant: Blimey?

Phil Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .

Contestant: (Silence)

Phil Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .

Contestant: Walked?

THE VAULT

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Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the

sufferer can fall asleep at any time?

Contestant: Nostalgia.

LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)

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Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?

Contestant: Jewish.

Presenter: That's close enough.

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)

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Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging

character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?

Contestant: Jesus

7 Replies

oldestnewest
  • You really could not make up better, could you?. I actually remember watching University Challenge when the first one was asked. :)

  • Sooo funny. Thanks

  • Soooooo funny - thanks pergola. cx

  • Priceless!

  • Ha Ha thanks. I now feel clever.

  • Brains in mittens!

  • brilliant pergola, its great when you see the brains of britain like that,,,even makes me look intelligent ha ha,,,what was ghandi,s first name,, ha ha,,,, cheered me up when i not cheered up,, thanks,, jw

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