Hi I'm new to this,but sure I'll get the hang of it,my poor Dad of 85 was diagnosed with stage3a lung cancer in Nov 2013

Lung specalist was looking at an old X-ray which was done in June 2013??? Emm! I informed her that we had been to GP for results and all was fine:-( she replied that she did not agree with the report,well I would say that the radiologist specalist has cocked up!!!!Dad is to frail for treatment and deteriating very rapidly,lives with me since the diagnosis in bed most of the time it's heart breaking to see him like this lost 2 stone even tho eating little n often god that cough n plemgh where is it coming from errgh! Been up since 3 am sitting with him bless him. Thanks for helping me get this of my chest ! Might have a rest now ,sure I'll be back soon .

34 Replies

  • Oh Bambi my heart is crying with you. You have come to a lovely place here. You can moan and cry and pour out your distress. We understand. Don't feel isolated just post your feelings here. XX

  • Morn Suzy,oh you made me feel so good in replying to me ,yes correct I'm not on my own now that I have come to this lovely place you described thank-you so much for sharing this with me :-)

  • Thinking of you and your dad, you are doing the best you can for him and giving him all your love.

    Have you got help, if not the BLF helpline could advise you on Monday.

    Best wishes

  • Thanks for your thoughts,yes everyone is on standby coping ok at mo,have a good day

    best wishes

  • Yes bamby, you can come here any time, there are some good people on this site. Take care.

  • Thank you best wishes to you

  • Hi Bambi

    I don't know what to say. Please carry on coming on this site and get it all off your chest. This group is so supportive, we are all here for you. God bless. xxx

  • Hello Bambi

    Thinking of you at this horrible time. God bless. Xxxx

  • Wow! so many responses thank you for your kind words of support best wishes to all

  • Hi Bambi it's an awful time for you and hard to watch a parent so poorly it makes you feel so helpless but your Dad is surrounded by a loving family and that's what counts. Just rest when you can. Your doing well. Chin up gal. This will be a good site for you. X

  • Oh thanks for your kind words too I'm over whelmed by all the comments .

  • God bless you both, I know how awful it is, my poor old Dad died from Lung Cancer too, Thinking of you X

  • Hi fern sorry to hear you lost your dad to this awful disease how old was he don't mind me asking how long did you have with him from the time of diagnosis until he was at peace,I would like my dad not to suffer as he is just existing not living he hates being like it and we certainly don't like seeing him like it always the same night time is the worst ????best wishes to you x

  • Hi Bambi, My Dad died when he was 73. He was admitted to hospital when my Mum couldn't cope caring for him,( the cancer had spread to his liver by then) my brother was visiting them when my Dad collapsed, he rang their GP who called a specialist out to examine him, he was taken into hospital and spent only 13 days there before he died painlessly, he was in a peaceful sleep when he went. My Dad had had a few strokes over the 5 years or so before that he couldn't speak very well and was determined to stay at home but I think he could see my Mum suffering looking after him and was happy to go into hospital in the end, he quite enjoyed all of the attention he got from the nurses. I spent that last couple of weeks visiting him and supporting my Mum, so it was a gradual letting go. It is terrible to watch your Dad like this, especially when they were such strong capable men, but sadly it is the cycle of life it will happen to us one day too, so look after yourself and don't be afraid to ask for help.

  • Hi Bambi. It is so very good that your Dad has his family around him and such a caring daughter as you. All good wishes to you all. x

  • Hi Bambi. What can I say? You must be devastated. Sadly all you can do is be there for your father and let him see the love surrounding him. We all want to say the right thing but it isn't easy, however the people on this forum with their warmth and affection will help you get through this most difficult time, it is what they do best.

  • Thanks for thoughts it's hard and mental draining but is deafo a lot worse for Dad have a good day bless you x

  • hi bambi don't know if suing the radiolgist would make your dad better which we all know wont. but it seems to me the the wrong results was given the for not seeing this in your dads test so now you will always have that niggle that the radiologist got it wrong so if l was you l would first write a letter to the gp and ask them how it got to this level before you had been told otherwise at least if you can get a letter of apology you can at least then find a bit of sence from all of this and maybe feel a bit more at ease take care xx

  • Hi minkymoo thanks for your reply,I'm angry with the radiologist as we weren't aware how ill dad was therefore put our house on the market sold stc,so we have poor dad very sick moving etc my head is about to explode I could go on and on,I will complain but need the right head on so not at this moment in time,how you have to be on top of everything wears me out,at the end of the day my house would not have gone on the market we would have waited for a more calmer time ,so watch out nhs I'll b on your case in the near future .best wishes and thanks for being there x

  • hi thankyou for your reply l don't mean to make it sound like you should be suing the nhs but l don't see why you shouldn't either l know it wont make things better but you say you have had to sell your home and god knows what else you had to do but if the radiologist has given you wrong diagnosis l would take it to the cleaners but first of all you need to write them a letter explaining your situation and if they write back apologising you have got them to admit they are at fault and that's all you need to start the case against them but first of all you need to go to a soliciter one that gives you 100% of the claim and you will be ok so good luck and take them to the cleaners xx

  • Hi didn't have to sell our home but put it on the market not knowing that dad was so ill ,I would have waited till next year because it has certainly been a worry, already got solicitor on the case coz of asbestosis on one lung ,he's been through it tho bless him prostrate cancer bout 25 years ago bladder cancer 2011 now this,the big c will not leave him alone think the reason he has carried on for a long while is coz he was so fit for his age but this lung one my god it's wicked sorry to go on but yes your all right it does help ALS getting replies is warming xx

  • Jimini crackers Bambi you certainly have the world on your back at the moment phew !!! My heart really goes out to your poor old dad and to you and your family,and times like this feel like you are living in the twilight zone somewhat!What a great daughter you are he is a lucky dad to have you and all the fam rallying,do hope you also have the support of the Macmillan nurse they are a very special bunch of people who really get where you are.Grrrrrrrrr arrrrgggghhhh to the NHS as you say you need to be in the right frame of mind to start with them,Ihad something similar with my daughter she was wrongly diagnosed well they implied it was allin her mind she spent 18mths in a wheelchair not able to use the loo and completely off her head on high doses of morphine it was the most awful time for her and me.I had suggested to the docs that maybe this Endemetriosis could be the issue as she had this condition,no no no their Gynae said! Anyway we got the money and paid for her to see the private Gynae she had had in the past,gave her a scan which clearly showed that she had this now attached to the lower part of her back aswell as her womb as this can latch on anywhere in the body she had surgery and all was well,although furious at the time i needed my girl well again before we could start with the complaint.Keep your pecker up look after you to.My thoughts are with you .Sound off as much as you want great bunch of peeps here. :) Janexx

  • Oh my god there I was thinking I was the only one with a lot going on breath!!!!thank god your daughter is on the mend bless her,nhs should realise that mothers know best in my case daughters.i hope your daughter is on the up no thanks to the nhs they have a lot to answer to,we'll I wish you all the luck and thanks for replying :-) x

  • Hi Bambi, Thinking of you and your Dad, were always here.X

  • Hi junespoon ,thank you.....so kind to take the time to reply,update just called palliative care nurse to come to dad really not at all well seemed more himself this am,bless him suffering like this it's cruel makes me feel so guilty but I know I'm doing my best I nursed my mum in her latter days with dementia now dad wicked world for some........it's hard he is proudly deaf and sign language user so you can understand while I look after him and have carers .......thanks again for being there x

  • Typo errgh! I mean why not while ......and do not have carers oh well little blip ! X

  • Hi Bambi it's a cruel illness don't feel guilty you are doing your very best for your poor dad. Hope the nurse comes soon and can help to ease his discomfort. X

  • Hi Bambi I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, you must feel very angry I went to see a lung specialist December he said he would do some tests we are now in February and nothing only his bill for the consultation yes that was a private appointment. Take care x

  • Oh my god that is so bad, my moto is if you don't shout you won't get nothing done, but y should we I hope all goes well with you take care and get on their case on a daily basis good luck x

  • Nurse came after 3 hours ,gave dad injection for the secretion and a mild relaxant my god within seconds he was sleeping very upsetting to see,I'm sitting next to him and he is oblivious to anything around him, at least he is resting I tell myself will he wake tho what a terrible disease to suffer with,worked hard all his life and end up like this so wrong ,I feel so helpless.....:-(

  • Bambi please don't feel helpless you are doing everything in your power to help your dear old dad. I know what you mean though I cared for my mum at home for a long time and she didn't want to go in hospital so I looked after her full time till she gave up. Just be there for him and with him. Take care of you too you'll need your strength. X

  • Hi Bambi first of all hope you managed to get some rest. A couple of weeks ago i was feeling so lonely as my mum was taken in to hospital very poorly i felt hopeless, but after coming on to this site i realised i was doing all i could for mum reading all the lovely supporting replies really helped me. So whenever you're feeling sad you now know you have friends who understand you. Take csre of yourself that's very important. Xx

  • Thanks for your kindness ,this is really helping me even just jotting down how things are going or should I say not going ...no rest just emotional stress at mo take care x

  • if you have the internet go on to peterjuster.com that is all I will say

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