....~~Twas the night before Christmas~~
..........................(Politically correct)
Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck
How to live in a world that's politically correct ?
His workers no longer would answer to Elves.
Vertically Challenged they were calling themselves.
And about labour conditions at the North Pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner , Comet and Cupid
Were replaced with four pigs, and you know that
looked stupid!.
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
the runners were termed dangerous by the Health And Safety.
And people had started to call for the cops,
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.
Seconhand smoke from his pipe had his workers
quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called Unenlightened
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and
flows.
Rudolph was suing over unauthorised use of his nose
And had gone on TV in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in overdue compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life.
Joined a self-help group, packed and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause such
commotion.
Nothing of leather ,nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him and nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute
Nothing to aim. nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise
Nothing for just6 girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific
No candy or sweets, they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish the truth'
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No football ,no rugby, someone could get hurt
Besides , playing sport exposes kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passé
And Nintendo would rot your poor brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled perplexed'
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry,
he tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty and limp to the ground
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found
Something special was needed , a gift that he might
Give to all without anger the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy ,with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion,
Every ethnicity, every hue.
Everyone, everywhere-even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth
'' May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth.''
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~~SINGALONG
Hark The Herald Angels Sing........
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~~ IT'S A CRACKER
How do we know Santa is such a good race car driver?
Because he's always in pole position
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KOTC
BREATHE EASY = FRIENDSHIP
Janexx
