British Lung Foundation
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A cuppa + ten for ADVENT 14 rest and enjoy

....~~Twas the night before Christmas~~

..........................(Politically correct)

Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck

How to live in a world that's politically correct ?

His workers no longer would answer to Elves.

Vertically Challenged they were calling themselves.

And about labour conditions at the North Pole

Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,

Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.

And equal employment had made it quite clear

That Santa had better not use just reindeer.

So Dancer and Donner , Comet and Cupid

Were replaced with four pigs, and you know that

looked stupid!.

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;

the runners were termed dangerous by the Health And Safety.

And people had started to call for the cops,

When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.

Seconhand smoke from his pipe had his workers

quite frightened.

His fur trimmed red suit was called Unenlightened

And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and


Rudolph was suing over unauthorised use of his nose

And had gone on TV in front of the nation,

Demanding millions in overdue compensation.

So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,

Who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life.

Joined a self-help group, packed and left in a whiz,

Demanding from now on her title was Ms.

And as for the gifts, why he'd ne'er had a notion

That making a choice could cause such


Nothing of leather ,nothing of fur,

Which meant nothing for him and nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute

Nothing to aim. nothing to shoot.

Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise

Nothing for just6 girls. Or just for the boys.

Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.

Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific

No candy or sweets, they were bad for the tooth.

Nothing that seemed to embellish the truth'

And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden

Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.

For they raised the hackles of those psychological

Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No football ,no rugby, someone could get hurt

Besides , playing sport exposes kids to dirt.

Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passé

And Nintendo would rot your poor brain away.

So Santa just stood there, dishevelled perplexed'

He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry,

he tried to be gay,

But you've got to be careful with that word today.

His sack was quite empty and limp to the ground

Nothing fully acceptable was to be found

Something special was needed , a gift that he might

Give to all without anger the left or the right.

A gift that would satisfy ,with no indecision,

Each group of people, every religion,

Every ethnicity, every hue.

Everyone, everywhere-even you.

So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth

'' May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth.''



Hark The Herald Angels Sing........



How do we know Santa is such a good race car driver?

Because he's always in pole position




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24 Replies

Priceless KOTC, Who writes your scripts. MBE or OBE in this years New Years Honours list. Berwick xx

Would you like to put my name forward .KOTC OBE sounds good to me

read that to husband - we both enjoyed. x

Enjoyment is the name of the game pergola1

Peace and Love if it's still PC with no danger for MBE / OBE

It must be PC,mustn't it? mogli712

Wonderful KotC - PC brigade? you just know they would if they could and if we aren't careful they will! LOL

Julie xx

What can one say,aint that the truth! The worlds gone bonkers KOTC :) Janexx

The world or me gone bonkers ,I'm not sure Jane

Haha the world my friend ,I just twitch a little :) Is it poss for the KOTC to be bonkers ? :) Janexx

A common sense Christmas & New Year


Common sense prevails Eh ?Ali

Wonderful KOTC. Most of us on here grew up in a non-politically controlled world and we all are just great. Balanced human beings. Well I think we are.

Balanced human beings? Yes maybe Suzy6

Kingy, as always you show the world its face in the mirror, but I wonder if they realize how silly they look, Ah well we,l just be happy to settle for the peace on earth eh fella?

Well done Richard :) :) xxxxx

Peace on earth I agree with sillwitch. I loved you chatline, what a response,

It was amazing Kingy, people just need to forget sometimes & I hope that i give them the chance to do just that :) bless you for your kind words, they mean a lot :)


Thanks for that one KOTC

You are most welcome to some festive jovillity katieoxo60

How very true. If you listen to everything there wouldn't be presents at all. Nice one!

What are these things called presents Mavary ?

Have they all been stopped already?

Thank you king. Alson :-) :-)

My pleasure for you Alison

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